* Thanks to those that read and left me fb on the fic I posted yesterday. I was very nervous about posting it, and that was just lovely. (Like how I'm kinda sorta pointing more of you to it? Yeah, I'm sly.)
* I want to hire a professional shopper and throw out every single article of clothing and start over. Oooh, except for my "Rocket Scientist" t-shirt. And those great shorts I had last summer. And my antique dress with the beading. Everything else, vamoose. *dreams* Wouldn't that be fun? Sigh.
* Spring break starts today for my kiddoes and we have big plans, Jerry, BIG PLANS. Like how they're going to have a sleepover with Grandpa tonight, YAY. There will be library trips, a visit to BodyWorlds, and a new chore list for the children, YAY!! \o/
* little plant babies (shut it) are popping up in my garden everywhere and it makes me so happy, I can barely explain it. My friend Alison (the getting-divorced buddy) said to me on our walk yesterday, "this is your time of the year, huh?" YES. Spring. Oh, glorious SPRIIIIIIIING! Confidential to about three of you: I looked out the window and what did I see?
Okay, seriously with the Grey's Anatomy watchers. REALLY? I mean, COME ON. 30 Rock is SO CLEVER. You need a laugh. It's BENEFICIAL. It's health-inducing, laughter. 30 Rock is losing viewership to Grey's Freaking Anatomy, and it's worrying me, because where else will I hear lines like:
* I don't believe in the moon.
* I believe that vampires are the world's greatest golfers, but they play at night so they never get to prove it.
* I believe there are 31 letters in the White alphabet.
* You always meet [for church] on Wednesday nights? Kenneth the Page: Yeah, we lose about half the congregation every time American Idol starts up.
Jack Donnaghey (Alec Baldwin):
* You have to fire 10% of your people. We have to synergize backward overflow. <-- (caused my husband to spew out water he was drinking. He's amused by nonsense office-speak.)
Jenna (Jake Krazowski):
* Kabbalah is a religion that mixed the fun part of Judaism with MAGIC! Tracey: So when do you worship? Jenna: When don't you worship?
It's such a sarcastic and fast paced show, and it's dependent on a lot of visual queues, which basically means it's made of PERFECTION with a topping of Awesome Sauce. I should work on my phrasing. WATCH THE SHOW, DAMMIT. *cries*
I am buying Talledega Nights: The Legend of Ricky Bobby today, because why don't I have that already??
* Hakuna Matata, Bitches!
* I like to think of Jesus as a mischievous badger.
* I'm Ricky Bobby. If you don't chew Big Red, then fuck you.
* You remind me of me, precocious and full of wonderment.
* Shut up Chip, or I'll go ape-shit on your ass!
* I'm gonna scissor kick you in the back of the head!
* Chip, I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey!
* Greatest Generation my ass. Tom Brokaw's a punk!
* When I wake up in the morning, I piss excellence.
* I like to think of Jesus as an ice dancer, dressed in an all-white jumpsuit, and doin' an interpretive dance.
* I'm as hard as a diamond in an ice storm right now.
* I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo t-shirt, because it says I want to be formal, but I'm here to party.
* The room's starting to spin... 'cause of all the gayness... Cal, I love you.
Random, but that's my brain today:
* It's anchorMAN, not anchorLADY, and that is a scientific fact!
* LOUD NOISES.
* No commericals... NO SURRENDER!
* 60% of the time.. it works every time.
* I'm... kind of a big deal.
Every one of those would make awesome icons. I'm just saying.
I LOVE WILL FERRELL.[/obvious statement]
And finally, I've had some bad!fic brought to my attention. Oh, people. Never stop amusing me with the crack.
More in the I don't think you understand BASIC HUMAN ANATOMY Category:
- Heero hadn't known when it happened, but at some point during their lovemaking, he'd torn Duo. Just once. Unfortunately in doing so he'd severed an artery.
Duo must have felt it, but he hadn't complained. On the contrary, he'd gone on thrusting back at Heero,crying out in pleasure as they both came.
"Merry Christmas, Heero." Duo had yawned, sleepily. "I hope you liked your present."
"I loved it." Heero had whispered. "And I love you."
Duo had snuggled against Heero, and had drifted off to sleep, both of them unaware that Duo was bleeding to death.
WHAT ON EARTH. Aww, that's so tender and TRAGIC. And oh yeah: impossible.
- Sakura squirmed as he once again pushed his way into her backdoor. (It's because she JUST. FINISHED. MOPPING. And guess who has muddy feet? *squirm*)
- His throbbing penis spewed another batch of his cum into her. (Well. I will NOT be making muffins today. At least not another batch).
- Lucius breaks his lips away from James’s and arches his back with an ostentatious cry. (AHAHAHA. Why am I imagining uulation here? Like a nomad from Afghanistan riding towards his tent on the back of a camel? Also, stop with the extra S at the end. It's ostentatious!)
- Best line ever. No, really: "Guys, I gotta bail." he told them. "I'm in labor." ~from a Gundam Wing mpreg
(I search for this shit, I don't read that fandom. Also, I'm imagining those complicated handshakes guys do, maybe with chest-bumping as our pregnant hero shoves his hands in his pockets, kicks a can out of the way and saunters to a hospital after stopping off for a roast beef sammich, or something. Maybe a beer and a game of darts. !!!)
I'm not even going to put the one with shampoo as anal lube and the BROWN SOAPSUDS CREATED from the force of the buttsecks. What is WRONG with people??