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Uh huh. *tongue in cheek*

I have Eddie Haskell in my house. (Google it, kids.) Let me preface this with the mention that it is POO-HOO-WHORING outside. Hail. Thunder. One of those prairie electrical storms. My son was on his way back from a friend's house - he called - and I ran outside to call him in. (Those storms can quickly become bad - we're under a tornado warning) He comes running to the door, dripping, and a raggedy, sopping wet kid comes up behind him. I give them the look. The "I didn't say you could bring a friend home in a downpour and you're going to wreck my house" look.

The child reads my expression, puts on a contrite face, and tells me how LOVELY I LOOK, and gosh, isn't my house so ATTRACTIVE? Those are his words. The boy is 11. I am currently in a dirty ballcap and tee shirt, having worked in the garden for the most part, and haven't ducked into the shower yet, and there's laundry piled everywhere. Riiiiiiight.

Oh, he's good. He's very good. he's wrapped up in a towel in our gameroom, as I've been informed his mother "knows I'm over here, and she's running errands." Uh huh.

Here's a random song for your trouble, those who read it all. :D Del The Funky Homosapien: Mistadobolina


( 40 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 26th, 2007 10:34 pm (UTC)
But how awesome for your son to have a friend like Eddie Haskell. Well, awesome for you, not your son. I mean, have him over for dinner and you will NEVER have to clear the table. Also, if there's something your son wanted to do, I'm sure Eddie Haskell, Jr. would be happy to lend a hand around the house, just to help you out.

I say use Haskell to your advantage. Let us learn from Ward and June's mistakes.

Mar. 26th, 2007 11:29 pm (UTC)
I NEED TO WORK THIS, yes. DIshes, laundry, cat box scooping.... *rubs chin* BRILLIANT!
... - josieobsessed - Mar. 27th, 2007 01:26 am (UTC) - Expand
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Mar. 26th, 2007 11:22 pm (UTC)

i'm laughing because I am waiting DESPERATELY for Ros_Fod to write Edward Furlong "Connor"/Vincent Kartheiser fic. :D So. Heeee!
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... - stoney321 - Mar. 27th, 2007 12:16 pm (UTC) - Expand
Mar. 26th, 2007 10:47 pm (UTC)
That's a lovely dress you've got on, Mrs. Cleaver.
Mar. 26th, 2007 11:23 pm (UTC)
HEEEEEEEEEE. And like, I re-caulked the bathroom today. I looked down a few minutes ago and I have a chunk of white caulk on my knee. NIIIIIIIIICE. :D

(And did you see I posted the boarding school kink fic? Just letting you know...)
... - thebratqueen - Mar. 26th, 2007 11:23 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Mar. 26th, 2007 11:30 pm (UTC) - Expand
Mar. 26th, 2007 10:50 pm (UTC)
Heeeeeeee. You'd better keep a close eye on the Beaver, there, June.

Wow, that sounded pretty dirty.
Mar. 26th, 2007 11:23 pm (UTC)
Oooh, such a pretty icon! And heh - yeah, there were some great quotes (unintentional) from that show. Heeee!
Mar. 26th, 2007 10:55 pm (UTC)
Instead of your kid bring home draggly wet 11 year olds can't you train him to bring home oiled up male model 25 year olds? It's what a caring child would do, especially one that likes eating.

Ha! I remember that song. Mistadobolina, Mister Bob Dobilina, BOB DOBILINA! I throw my arms in the air like I just don't care.
Mar. 26th, 2007 11:25 pm (UTC)
I KNOW. Why can't he??? Of course, the hot 25 year olds will turn out to be gay and just want to borrow my heels, the cheeky bastards.

I have been reliving my hip hop era ALL AFTERNOON. Ooooh, oooh, Mistadobalina!
Mar. 26th, 2007 10:56 pm (UTC)
The child reads my expression, puts on a contrite face, and tells me how LOVELY I LOOK, and gosh, isn't my house so ATTRACTIVE? Those are his words. The boy is 11.
Bwah! title or description
Maybe he's Eddie's grandson. Better keep an eye on your little Beavers there June.

Mar. 26th, 2007 11:25 pm (UTC)
HEEEEEEE. Pack on a good thirty pounds to the original Eddie and we've GOT A WINNER.

Mar. 26th, 2007 11:10 pm (UTC)
Do not turn your back on this kid for one nanosecond.

Have I mentioned (lately) that I love how you throw in random, undergroundish hip-hop? I haven't? Well I DO. *goes to dig up her copy of 'Both Sides of the Brain'*
Mar. 26th, 2007 11:27 pm (UTC)
THEY PLAYED WHERE I WAS, YES. (And they recreated getting caught in the storm to the delight of Emily. Then I made sure he was dry, packed him in the car and drove him home. TO BE SURE.)

Dude, DEL. I just realized he was on the Gorillaz first album, I feel sofa king wee todd it. (Shhh, but I've been grooving to New Edition today, hahahahaha!)<-- loses all street cred.
... - cityphonelines - Mar. 27th, 2007 12:05 am (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Mar. 27th, 2007 12:16 am (UTC) - Expand
Mar. 26th, 2007 11:21 pm (UTC)

Mar. 26th, 2007 11:28 pm (UTC)
NOT THIS ONE. He is SHADY, I feel it in my BONES. Like, with the right training he could be Artful Dodger.

... - entrenous88 - Mar. 26th, 2007 11:42 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Mar. 26th, 2007 11:46 pm (UTC) - Expand
Mar. 26th, 2007 11:40 pm (UTC)
Heeeee! It's amazing to me that an eleven-year-old-kid has that trying to be smooth training in him. He's a future salesman, I'll wager.

I'm making spinach-ricotta pies! *runs to check on them*
Mar. 26th, 2007 11:43 pm (UTC)
Seriously! I had the driest face, J. I swear, it took everything for me to not roll my eyes and say, "Uh huh. What's your angle, kid?" Heee! The very picture of charming innocence. *has waterfront Kansas property for you*

OH YUM!!!!! Are you using puff pastry or pie crust? DELISH. We are having kids' choice: chili dogs. Which means I'm having a bowl of Kashi. :D
... - entrenous88 - Mar. 26th, 2007 11:51 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Mar. 26th, 2007 11:54 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - entrenous88 - Mar. 27th, 2007 01:07 am (UTC) - Expand
Mar. 27th, 2007 12:18 am (UTC)
But at least you have a kinda smarmy kid to compliment you! When you have caulk on your knee and you're kinda dirty and stinky. That's kinda ballsy of the kid because how did he know you wouldn't haul off and smack him for being a suck-up? Not that you normally do that, but HOW DID HE KNOW?!

Okay, those two glasses of wine I nearly chugged before dinner? GOING TO MY HEAD NOW. LAME.

Mar. 27th, 2007 12:21 am (UTC)
Ahahahahahaha, I kept up the drinking yesterday with Alison and her sister (who is moosesal's doppleganger, I kid you not!) and it was like being 26 all over again. Ahahaha.

He really lucked out, this kid. *rolls up sleeves*
(Deleted comment)
Mar. 27th, 2007 12:28 am (UTC)

Brandi, this kid was SOOOO turning on the charm. Like, he'd been COACHED in how to talk to mothers to get his way. SERIOUSLY.
(Deleted comment)
Mar. 27th, 2007 12:42 am (UTC)
*sporfle* both at the Leave it to Beaver refernece and the icon.
Mar. 27th, 2007 12:58 am (UTC)
Heeee! I love that icon SO MUCH. *polishes it on my sleeve*

Mar. 27th, 2007 03:28 am (UTC)
Okay, in this day and age, Haskell was totally casing your joint. Yeah, he was drying his wet hair, but his shifty 11 year old eyes were looking at pocketables for future pilfering. That kid warrants watching.
Mar. 27th, 2007 08:32 pm (UTC)
Heee! We made the Artful Dodger comparison above, I think y'all are onto something!
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Mar. 27th, 2007 08:33 pm (UTC)
Heeeee! RIGHT! He clearly had been coached, but to have such impeccable manners in such a bedraggled child... Also, he was a COMPLETE STRANGER. The Boy met him while riding around in the rain. (!!! He was supposed to be at his friend's house!) I've yet to lay eyes on mom or dad...
Mar. 27th, 2007 06:11 pm (UTC)
Are you sure the kid's name wasn't Damian? Check the house for the smell of brimstone.

(Then again, better than A,who used to arrive at his best friend's house, not say hello, wander right over to the cabinet and riffle through looking for stuff to eat. He would get tossed out for that one.)
Mar. 27th, 2007 08:24 pm (UTC)
Ahahahahaha! I'll be sure to look into numerical tattoos and foreshadowed death in any future photographs. :D

In other news, I just got back from Disneyland (aka: the orchid greenhouse) and now have a foot and a half of a vanilla orchid hardening off. EEEEEE!
( 40 comments — Leave a comment )


Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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