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Not really here...

But OH MY GOD, I have to record my hate for Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End.
The "love story?" Hated.
The WEDDING during a life or death battle that was supposed to be light hearted and romantic? HAY=TED. Hated.
Keira Knightly's Jaw that threatened to break off at any given moment and devour everyone in sight? Hated.
The awesome and angry Chinese women in the beginning of the Singapore scenes that were abruptly killed and not given their due? Hated. (Really - why couldn't they have had a bad ass fight scene?)
The LAME ASS PIRATE KING moment? Oh my god, my eyes rolled so hard I thought they fell out. HATED.
MY BELOVED JAMES BEING KILLED WHILE SNIVELLING?!?!? Oh my - I will never forgive Ted-n-Terry for taking away Norrington's spine. And you know... NORRINGTON. (Why couldn't Norrington been Darth Vader and Beckett have been the Emperor Palpatine and then thrown Beckett overboard into an energy shaft and putting balance to the force? But you know... piratical?)
The ridiculous "everything is blowing up around him as he walks down the stairs but magically has no shrapnel ripping his coat/face/flesh Beckett death scene? Okay, that was a neat stunt, but WHAT ON EARTH.

Things that were good: Jack Sparrow. Jack Sparrow's parents, ha. Anytime Jack Sparrow was on screen. The British Navy men who surreptitiously became pirates, ahahaha. That was funny. The visuals of the boats.

Three hours. THREE HOURS! And the "big epic ship battle" with an entire flotilla that... SAT THERE. And let two ships duke it out? Lame. LAME, I SAY, AND I'm ROOTING FOR THE PIRATES!

No one had any sort of real character development, aside from maybe Will Turner. Everyone just was who they started out being, which doesn't make for dramatic storytelling, imo. AND KIERA KNIGHTLY BUGGED ME TO NO END. Sorry, Keira lovers. Can't stand the bony twig at all. GAH.

... I knew the spoiler years ago when we were at Disney World and I skimmed through a PotC book on the shelf. I had hoped it wouldn't be final. GAH. Oh, Commodore! What a horrible way to go, I'm sorry, but he was trembling with FEAR, and that is NOT the Commodore from PotC1, you'll never convince me. *cries* I almost want my money back. :( (Except that him kissing Keira was FUCKING HOT because the man looks like an amazing kisser, and NORRINGTON! *cries* NOT ONE SCENE WITH JAMES AND JACK!! *stomps foot*

And a balm for those that read that and are angry with me for hating the movie: South Park dubbed over Harry Potter! Ahahahaha, Draco is Cartman! Hermione is Kyle! Colin Creevy and Neville are Butters!! Snape is Mr. Garrison!! Bwah hahaha. Oh, these cracked me up. (And how about the La Resistance Medley? And a final clip to remember me by... Mr. Mackey teaching the kids alternatives to swear words. Ahahahaha. <3)

Now I finish laundering, packing, and organizing the family for our 6am flight tomorrow. Ack. Happy Weekend, everyone! <3



( 41 comments — Leave a comment )
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May. 26th, 2007 03:45 pm (UTC)
I heard Elizabeth goes all William Wallace at one point. So does she end her speech with:

"They may take our lives, but they'll never take... OUR FREEDOM!"
May. 26th, 2007 04:13 pm (UTC)
Ahahahaha! She does! But unfortunately there's no disembowling scene.

There is an awkward "is Will eating her out??" moment, but no, he's just rubbing his hard-won face stubble on her knee. o_0

Elizabeth is all rude and stuff to Norrington! SHE IS THE CAUSE OF HIS DEATH. Boo, and a HISS!
... - cherusha - May. 26th, 2007 04:23 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - May. 26th, 2007 04:31 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - cherusha - May. 26th, 2007 04:41 pm (UTC) - Expand
May. 26th, 2007 04:06 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I hated the last one, too. I'm gonna wait until this one comes out on DVD, and fast-forward through all the parts where Jack Sparrow is not on screen.
May. 26th, 2007 04:13 pm (UTC)
Those will be all the good scenes you watch, then. (Really, he's very funny in this one. It's all by HIMSELF, but that's because the other characters had their souls removed.)
... - darlas_mom - May. 26th, 2007 07:16 pm (UTC) - Expand
May. 26th, 2007 04:34 pm (UTC)
Oh, I'm sorry you didn't like it! *hugs* I don't think he was snivelling, I thought he was really brave. Have a good vacation. *hugs MORE* Where are you off to?
May. 26th, 2007 04:37 pm (UTC)
He was WHIMPERING! Lip wobble and all! Oh, JAMES. *clings to his dead body* :(((

Hello, my Sophie!! We are all off to NYC in the wee hours for a week of intellectual and cultural pursuits! Or possibly loads of yelling and bickering as we make our way on the subways. :D
... - slasheuse - May. 26th, 2007 04:41 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - May. 26th, 2007 05:23 pm (UTC) - Expand
May. 26th, 2007 05:28 pm (UTC)
May. 26th, 2007 05:49 pm (UTC)
I MEAN WHAT, LAURA. HE WAS COMMISSIONED ON A PIRATE SHIP TO WORK WITH THE IMMORTAL PIRATE DAVY JONES. NO. Commodore James "The Scourge" Norrington would not suffer that position, I AM SORRY.
... - floweringjudas - May. 26th, 2007 05:56 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - May. 26th, 2007 06:03 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - floweringjudas - May. 26th, 2007 06:14 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - May. 26th, 2007 06:23 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - floweringjudas - May. 26th, 2007 06:32 pm (UTC) - Expand
May. 26th, 2007 05:39 pm (UTC)
Well thank you for the warning. No pirates for me, I expect.

Have a safe, fun trip. Where are you heading exactly? (I'm so NYC centric, I see Chelsea and I think 23rd street.)
May. 26th, 2007 05:47 pm (UTC)
I think we're staying on 23rd, actually! Mr. S is working on a project in the Financial Distrcit, although he's staying just outside that area for the roomy hotel. We're joining him, and the kids and I are taking in Points Educational during the day and sightseeing with Dad at night. *g*

And yeah - honestly, if you're a huge fan of the first and skeptical of the second, the third might make you miserable.
May. 26th, 2007 05:41 pm (UTC)
Ooh, Jamie-love.

I feel your pain. Ranted about much of the same immediately after seeing it.

And he was in Asia hunting when the whole abolishments of trial and rights happened. Because you betcha James Norrington wouldn't stand for that.

JAMES NORRINGTON LIVES! (join the club. It's free, and you get a kickass snarky James to go with it)
May. 26th, 2007 05:50 pm (UTC)
*sobs for The Commodore*

I read your rant after watching the movie yesterday and yep - BAH and HUMBUG to the mistreatment of Norrington's honor and character.

Oh, RIGHT! The abolishment! NO.
May. 26th, 2007 05:42 pm (UTC)
Sorry you didn't like the movie. I think if I hadn't gone in with insanely low expectations I wouldn't have liked it as much as I did. I am pissed that they killed Norrington but I'm okay with how he died.

Have fun on your trip. It's hot and muggy in the city but we're supposed to have decent weather this week.
May. 26th, 2007 05:51 pm (UTC)
*cries about the movie* I had hoped to be entertained by the spectacle, at least, but couldn't manage that. :(

Oooh, what does hot mean to you? *rethinks packed clothing* Like, upper 80s, 90s? Or warmer?
... - thepiratequeen - May. 26th, 2007 06:08 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - May. 26th, 2007 06:11 pm (UTC) - Expand
May. 26th, 2007 06:21 pm (UTC)
Davy Jones: Well, Admiral. Are you afraid to die?
Norringon: [stabs DJ]
DJ: I would take that as a 'no', then. Will you serve on my crew?
N: I'd rather die!
DJ: [stands] It's a little late for that, Admiral.

[end scene]

When Will takes over, and people quit being covered in barnacles, you see one person fade from creature into Norrington in a sailor's uniform, learning humility. Will raises his eyebrow, but picks his FATHER as the helmsman.

...... how's that?
May. 26th, 2007 06:26 pm (UTC)
THANK YOU. I mean...

Bootstrap was a bit of a-- well, if there were a pile of shiny diamonds in a hat, he'd be the pebble covered in mud. AND HE'S THE HELMSMAN. Proving once again that Will Turner Is Not The Smart One. But he's good with a sword...?

Norrington quipped! He baited others and shucked and jived with a smart mouth and the goods to back up his mouth! And he lip trembled and was killed by the muddy pebble? No, sir. O_O
... - dwivian - May. 26th, 2007 11:20 pm (UTC) - Expand
May. 26th, 2007 06:59 pm (UTC)
Okay. Buzzuh? They kill Norrington? WTF, people. WTF?
May. 26th, 2007 08:33 pm (UTC)
I personally didn't think he was snivelling at all; I think he was being defiant. I mean, he's dying, and he uses his LAST GASP to shish-kabob the crazy squidface man. BIG DAMN HERO. *wibble*

I actually liked the movie, but I'm kind of a sucker for popcorn-muncher blockbuster action. And, don't get me wrong, because I am very sad he died, but at least he went out IMHO in a way that was true to the noble spirit of his character. Chooses the right side, kisses the girl (HOT, YUSS), and dies defending her and what he believes in. (Plus...uh, bring on the ressurrection fic? It's CANON, bitches :P)

Though I will agree that it kind of ticked me off how LITTLE screentime he got overall, and especially that Elizabeth was the only main player he got to interact with. What, they threw in a pseudo-kiss fake-out between Will and Jack (it was THERE!!) but they couldn't manage to even have Jack and James in ONE scene together?? COME ON.
May. 26th, 2007 08:55 pm (UTC)
I can understand your anger.

You know why I came back from the first viewing all weepy and gut-punched. Will doesn't deserve to be cursed like that, being able to see his true love one day every ten years, and be immortal and watch her and his child grow old and die before him.

Of course, now Will is going to have to go pick up Norrington to take him to the next world. Think of the possibilities there...
May. 26th, 2007 11:56 pm (UTC)
I enjoyed the movie up until the frickin bizarro "i can only see you once every ten years!" ending. Lol, but it wasnt as good as the second, and especially the first one. Captain Jack was the saving grace, thank God, lol. I was sad for Norrington too.. he came so far, just to die like that. Not cool. I just kinda left with a "Meh" feeling. I'll probably pretend the movie never happened, lol.

May. 27th, 2007 01:00 am (UTC)
Loved the Harry Potter South Park...I giggled like a little girl!
May. 27th, 2007 05:13 am (UTC)
Sometimes I think I'm broken and should have to turn in my fangirl badge. POTC does not interest me. I mean, I saw the first two, but that was via rental. I've no interest in seeing numero three. Also *ducks* I don't get Harry Potter. I mean, I tried to watch those movies too, but there is no love there.

But South Park? Great big honking love for it. So, thank you times infinity for the links :-)
May. 28th, 2007 01:53 am (UTC)
Here, for when you get home! Good things have come out of "AWE." http://monkeycrackmary.livejournal.com/777985.html#cutid1 <---Fucking AWESOME post-"AWE" Sparrington FTW!
Jun. 3rd, 2007 02:37 am (UTC)

THANK YOU!!!! Oooh, she's a terrific writer, THANKS!
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