The "love story?" Hated.
The WEDDING during a life or death battle that was supposed to be light hearted and romantic? HAY=TED. Hated.
Keira Knightly's Jaw that threatened to break off at any given moment and devour everyone in sight? Hated.
The awesome and angry Chinese women in the beginning of the Singapore scenes that were abruptly killed and not given their due? Hated. (Really - why couldn't they have had a bad ass fight scene?)
The LAME ASS PIRATE KING moment? Oh my god, my eyes rolled so hard I thought they fell out. HATED.
MY BELOVED JAMES BEING KILLED WHILE SNIVELLING?!?!? Oh my - I will never forgive Ted-n-Terry for taking away Norrington's spine. And you know... NORRINGTON. (Why couldn't Norrington been Darth Vader and Beckett have been the Emperor Palpatine and then thrown Beckett overboard into an energy shaft and putting balance to the force? But you know... piratical?)
The ridiculous "everything is blowing up around him as he walks down the stairs but magically has no shrapnel ripping his coat/face/flesh Beckett death scene? Okay, that was a neat stunt, but WHAT ON EARTH.
Things that were good: Jack Sparrow. Jack Sparrow's parents, ha. Anytime Jack Sparrow was on screen. The British Navy men who surreptitiously became pirates, ahahaha. That was funny. The visuals of the boats.
Three hours. THREE HOURS! And the "big epic ship battle" with an entire flotilla that... SAT THERE. And let two ships duke it out? Lame. LAME, I SAY, AND I'm ROOTING FOR THE PIRATES!
No one had any sort of real character development, aside from maybe Will Turner. Everyone just was who they started out being, which doesn't make for dramatic storytelling, imo. AND KIERA KNIGHTLY BUGGED ME TO NO END. Sorry, Keira lovers. Can't stand the bony twig at all. GAH.
... I knew the spoiler years ago when we were at Disney World and I skimmed through a PotC book on the shelf. I had hoped it wouldn't be final. GAH. Oh, Commodore! What a horrible way to go, I'm sorry, but he was trembling with FEAR, and that is NOT the Commodore from PotC1, you'll never convince me. *cries* I almost want my money back. :( (Except that him kissing Keira was FUCKING HOT because the man looks like an amazing kisser, and NORRINGTON! *cries* NOT ONE SCENE WITH JAMES AND JACK!! *stomps foot*
And a balm for those that read that and are angry with me for hating the movie: South Park dubbed over Harry Potter! Ahahahaha, Draco is Cartman! Hermione is Kyle! Colin Creevy and Neville are Butters!! Snape is Mr. Garrison!! Bwah hahaha. Oh, these cracked me up. (And how about the La Resistance Medley? And a final clip to remember me by... Mr. Mackey teaching the kids alternatives to swear words. Ahahahaha. <3)
Now I finish laundering, packing, and organizing the family for our 6am flight tomorrow. Ack. Happy Weekend, everyone! <3