• Mood: horny

If I believed in a god, I would now know She loved me

OKAY SO THE WORST AND BEST THING HAPPENED JUST NOW OH MY STARS.

SO. I went for a run this morning - unintentionally - as the mosquitoes were swarming me, and I was afeared of them. Turns out that running and slapping at your legs on a sharp incline causes your cell phone to fall out of your cell-pocket in your running shorts without you noticing. I'm about to leave on a trip, so I'm packing, and that would have sucked to have lost my phone, right? Except I didn't KNOW I had lost my phone. Wait, it gets more interesting than a missing cell phone I ASSURE YOU.

I get a call, ID says my last name, cell. (Mr. S's phone is one number off.) I answer, "Hey, Baby." Someone else's voice answers, "Uh, hi, the kids found a cell phone in front of our house, and this was the 'home' number?" Oh my gosh, I say, I'll come right over, I say, where to, I ask. He tells me. (I have it in my head that it's some kind of Mr. Mom from his statement.)

I rush over (it's about five blocks up from my house, whew) and race up the door (I'm still in my running clothes, probably stinking of exercise, GAH) and MR. HOT ASS TEENAGER ANSWERS THE DOOR SEMI-NAKED.

I need a moment....

Okay. So maybe he's about 17 or 18? He's in swim trunks. And nothing else. And he is CHISELED CHEST AND BELLEH BOY. Like, he has that hot freaking muscle that snakes over the hip bone (which means that's how low his trunks were, holy god.) YES I WAS STARING AT HIM. But I was staring at him in a BECOMING MANNER. (right.) Oh, and he's GLISTENING with moisture because he just got out of the pool. *imagines Fast Times at Ridgemont High but with his hot ass*

So, his hair is all spikey and black and wet, and he has a runnel of water on his chest - bare and perfect, I mentioned that, right? - and he's square-jawed and light-eyed and very very tall and lean and fit and smiling and he totally wanted to throw my hot mom-ass against the wall and take me and make me feel young and desirable again. (SHUT UP WHY WOULD YOU RUIN THIS FOR ME?)

He's a NANNY. And a hot ass. I have found the will to carry on with life yet again. BLESS YOU, KARMIC FORCES OF THE UNIVERSE!

*exhale*

And now I have to do laundry and fold little girl panties and scrub my son's shorts and I can DAY DREAM WHILE DOING IT, HURRAH.

I would totally be smoking right now if I did. (And I'm leaving in a few hours to see southerbangel and marenfic for the weekend, WHOO HOO! \o/

AND LAST BUT CERTAINLY NOT LEAST!!
*claps in rhythm*
Happy happy birthday!
On this your special day!
Happy happy birthday,
that's all I'm here to say (HEY!)
Happy happy birthday!
May
Aaaaaaaaaaall
Your
Dreeeeeeeeeams
Come
Truuuuuuue!
Happy happy birthday!
From Sto-ho-ney to you (HEY!)

I love you, Kitten!! Have an excellent birthday!!