Laura Stone (stoney321) wrote,
Laura Stone

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I spent waaaaaay too much time yesterday reading the new MsScribe wank. (I needed a distraction after watching a nature show where Orcas were hunting. *cries*) And I figured out who she reminds me of: my weirdest roommate EVAH.

What's astounding is this roommate - we'll call her M - beat out my Satan-worshipping, coke snorting, hair ratting, heavy metal rocker chick roommate from WUHstah, Mass. Quite an accomplishment. Anyway, M moved into my dorm room (after my first dorm-mate left school from a head injury. I DID NOT CAUSE THE HEAD INJURY. Even though it would seem that I had after she slipped a pet rat into the shower with me for "laughs." She wiped out on a mountain bike. I DID NOT TAMPER WITH THE BRAKES. Ahaha. Ahem.)

M was... different. She was from Portland, WA, and evidently was BFF with: Eddie Veder and Pauly Shore. (Okay, I can see why - in the early 90s - you'd want to be friends with Eddie Veder, but Pauly Shore? Isn't there anyone cooler?) She also had a boyfriend back home, and she showed me his picture. He was hot. He was magazine model hot. He actually WAS a magazine model. (We'll get to that later.) Not to be too unkind, M was... not hot. Not by a long shot. Male model (and let's face it - most of them are gay) vs. strangely shaped, no social skills M. *scale hands*

BUT. I was a person of faith, and encouraged her to join me and my friends for outings, etc. Conversations were dominated by talk of her BFF, Eddie Veder. She also was the type that turned everything into a negative or a Debbie Downer mood.

Friend: Man, I was rock climbing today and I totally thrashed my leg! *beams, because is proud of the climb and wound, just like a boy*
M: Eddie Veder and I knew someone that climbed that very one and fell to their death. They also landed on the last Condor, and now they're extinct. But I'm glad you climbed it. And didn't kill anything. This time.

o_0 My friends asked me soon after to stop inviting her along.

She started getting LOADS of calls from Eddie and her boyfriend. Now, I never heard the phone ring for these calls. She claimed that she knew when they were calling and picked up the phone before the first ring could "get going." I'd come back from the vending machines or whatever, and she'd be on the phone, laughing and chatting away. *shrug*

She started getting LOADS of letters and pictures from her boyfriend. Remember how he was a male model for various magazines? The pictures he sent her were basically pics from magazines, cut out and glued on index cards. Cards she was using for an outline in one of her classes. Also, the envelopes - which she thumb-tacked to her cork board so everyone could see all of her letters - were addressed to her from him. In... her handwriting. And there weren't stamps. Or that post office code thingy along the bottom, showing it was sorted and, you know... MAILED.

One time I came back from someone's dorm and she didn't expect me, and she grabbed the phone really quick and started laughing hysterically, telling Pauly Shore to "quit it, ahaha!" O_O I grabbed my wallet off my desk (next to the phone) and could hear the "EHEHEHEHEHEHEH" noise the phone line makes when you leave it off the hook. How sad.

She started taking my car out while I was in class - without permission. She started wearing my clothes - without permission. (Um... She was half a foot shorter than me, so... Why was she borrowing my jeans?) She started sleeping in. To the tune of 18 hours a day. She hid food in her bed so she wouldn't have to get out of bed to get it. And... would leave the half-eaten food containers all over. >.< I was seeing a guy by this time (We'll call him ESL. He was very pretty, very... skilled, but very dumb.) and she'd flirt openly with him when he came by to pick me up. Or would come over and sit on MY bed if WE were sitting on it.

When she started getting letters every day from her boyfriend, and she couldn't stop talking about how much in love they were, and how they were going to get married, and maybe she just wouldn't finish college after all so they could be together, I got the Dorm Mother to intervene with counselors. And... move her out. Sorry, I'm not a therapist. She moved in with another girl that was having problems *facepalm* and started up her Eddie Veder stuff again, from what I heard. All of this took place during one semester. Oy.

So... she's like the Mini Me version of MsScribe. I'll say this about MsScribe: she's FAR MORE entertaining that M. (Because she just really needed some help.) And so I don't post a total Debbie Downer post, I'll leave you with this vid, one of my faves, He Man singing 4 Non Blondes. :D

PS: Oh! I forgot to post the answer to my poll yesteday :
1. sock, shoe, sock, shoe. (what if there's a fire, and you're running around in two socks? If you have one shoe on, you're halfway there!)
2. immediately after eating (would also accept before bed and morning)
3. krunked up.
4. drunk and hiiiiiiiigh (ahaha)
5. all answers are correct
6. West Coast, West Coast, stoooop!
7. all of these are true, and it's the same person. (Man, he gave me HOURS of entertainment. Hoo boy!)
Tags: random statements
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