Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

So I went to the Asian market with my friend, so she could translate for me. I scored some delicacies, of which I am most pleased (I finally found those fish flakes to season rice with! Num.) And we got a durian (Matong.) Which is known as the smelliest fruit known to man. Let me attempt to define the scent for you: If you have, say, a baby of the age of 9 months, who really really likes spinach, and they get an intestinal disorder, causing them to go through a lot of diapers. Then, after, oh... three days of dirty spinach-poo diapers you put that out in the hot sun and throw on top of it some over-ripe strawberries, just growing fuzz.

There. That's the smell.

So you break open this spiny pod the size of a bowling ball, and the insides look like intestines. "But it's delicious!" I'm told. "It's so creamy and custard like!" they say. I exhale sharply through my nose to get the said spin-poo-berry stink from my sinuses and take a mouthful. It is definitely creamy textured. Very cold custard-ish. And I can taste the spin-poo-berry. But then... it goes away. And it tastes like smoky cheese - very smooth and aromatic, and sweet at the end.

I ate a bunch. My buddy was shocked - and pleased - that I liked it. (She leaned against my counter, smiling, waiting for me to make an EWWWWW face.) I wrapped up the pod covering and the seeds in three plastic bags to throw away. The remainder of the custard-intestine is in a plastic container, wrapped twice in Saran. The smell is barely noticeable that way. My kitchen, however, smells of summertime in the toddler pen on fruit cup day. >.<

In conclusion, this picture is maybe one of the funniest things I have seen in a loooooong time.

Apparently, the owner made a bunch of these posters and put them up all over Baltimore recently. *g* (I kind of think the dog looks a little evil, though. Like Evil Bert.)


( 36 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 30th, 2007 07:00 pm (UTC)
That poster is hysterical.

Durian is banned in at least one country (I forget which) for the crime of smelling like old shoes covered in vomit. Eat a durian, go to jail.
Oct. 30th, 2007 07:08 pm (UTC)
I mean, LOOK at that MOTHERFUCKIN DOG! Ahahahaha.

My house STILL smells. I've got all the windows open and two scented candles... (But it tastes good!)
Oct. 30th, 2007 07:03 pm (UTC)

What possessed people back in the day to even try such a fruit? I would think that at first sniff it would get tossed away. Why would you taste something that smelled so awful?

It does sound intriguing, though. I might have to try just to satisfy my curiosity. If it stanks up my building I can always blame it on the family down the hall, they have small children.
Oct. 30th, 2007 07:09 pm (UTC)
See, I asked the same thing! Who on earth would see that, smell it, and decide to eat it? My friend's reply: "Asians. We eat anything." :D

Maybe open the fruit outside and throw it away in a dumpster. I wouldn't even bring it inside, to be honest. To call it pungent is an understatement.
Oct. 30th, 2007 07:03 pm (UTC)
That poster is completely made of win. I should post a picture of myself around town.


Have a look at this beautiful motherfucking woman. She was last seen being awesome--as she always is--in her apartment, writing porn and not eating Halloween candy reserved for tomorrow. She is the most goddamn awesome woman in this godforsaken town and knows how to fuck.


I've always wanted to try durian because I have also heard it is delicious, if you can get past the smell. However, since I live in this godforsaken town, we don't have delicacies like that. (I don't think.)

So, to sum up, I am awesome.
Oct. 30th, 2007 07:10 pm (UTC)
Yes you are awesome! You need to come back for a visit soon and we'll go down to the market and get one.

And hahahahaha - YOU SHOULD MAKE THAT POSTER!! I love it!
It's kinda like this face. - southernbangel - Oct. 30th, 2007 07:30 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - marenfic - Oct. 31st, 2007 01:45 am (UTC) - Expand
... - southernbangel - Oct. 31st, 2007 02:29 am (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
Oct. 30th, 2007 07:11 pm (UTC)
Naw, we didn't go to Little Chinatown this time - there's an Asian Market (the name) up on Legacy in Plano. It's not quite as big as the one on Spring Valley, but they had a terrific assortment.

(Apparently there's a Little Hong Kong in Mesquite?! Who knew!)
(Deleted comment)
... - stoney321 - Oct. 30th, 2007 07:26 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - southernbangel - Oct. 30th, 2007 07:31 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
Oct. 30th, 2007 07:11 pm (UTC)
Ou! I've heard of durian before on a show! You're a brave one for trying it.
Oct. 30th, 2007 07:12 pm (UTC)
I may have been brave for trying it, but I was STOOPID for opening it in my house. Geh.

*fans harder*
... - lolz - Oct. 30th, 2007 07:19 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Oct. 30th, 2007 07:27 pm (UTC) - Expand
Oct. 30th, 2007 07:16 pm (UTC)
I need to make posters like that... Sadly, my kickass coat doesn't have a name.
Oct. 30th, 2007 08:09 pm (UTC)
Oh, you have to make up a name!! Hahahaha, what a funny idea!
(Deleted comment)
Oct. 30th, 2007 08:10 pm (UTC)
Yeah! The dog totally has evil eyebrows...

I feel the need to state that it tasted really good, it just smelled like ass.

Oct. 30th, 2007 07:30 pm (UTC)
I love the Asian market. There are always so many new and culinarily intriguing things to smell and try. Thanks for the olofactory description of durian. It's kept frozen at the market, and I've handled it several times. My husband just gives me a look, and I have to remind him "You remember your first reaction to kim chi, don't you? It smelled like rotting garbage and no way were you ever going to want to have jars of it in the refrigerator?" Now I make three or four batches of the stuff a year! We're both totally addicted to it.

That poster is hilarious! I want to see that dog in action being awesome.
Oct. 30th, 2007 09:10 pm (UTC)
Oh my GOD I love kim chi!! My old roommate made some with carrots that was the best I'd ever had. MmmmMMmmm.

(I'm about to get the girls to try a bit here in a second...) I do recommend it, I have to say.

(I want to see him, too! Like, does the dog wear a cape? *g*)
Oct. 30th, 2007 07:31 pm (UTC)
My daughter and I went to a local Asian food store, and it smelled so bad that I didn't want to eat anything from it. Finally, I figured that since we were only there for Japanese candy, it'd be fine. Eventually, we wandered through the produce aisle, to discover a huge open cooler of durian. Ah. That's what the stink was.

I'd have to be freakin' starving to eat something that smelled that way.
Oct. 30th, 2007 09:08 pm (UTC)
And my Asian friends can't understand why we'd eat Bleu cheese... :D

(I'm about to make the girls try it. *rubs hands evilly*)
Oct. 30th, 2007 08:14 pm (UTC)
That poster is awesome. I think I'll pass, however, on the stinky fruit. Kudos to you for trying it though.
Oct. 30th, 2007 09:08 pm (UTC)
Isn't it funny? That dog cracks me up.

And I'm about to force my girls to have a try. Muah ah ah.
Oct. 30th, 2007 08:20 pm (UTC)
It's the hornish ears and eyes that say "I'm planning something"

Also, you now have spin-poo-berry breath.
Oct. 30th, 2007 09:07 pm (UTC)
Yep!! That's it!

And haha, nuh uh, because I just ate a block of chocolate and gargled. :D
Oct. 30th, 2007 08:57 pm (UTC)
I want to go to the awesome Asian market with yooooouuuuuuu!

<3 <3 <3
Oct. 30th, 2007 09:05 pm (UTC)
ZOmg, the dried leaves and fruits and seasonings and herbs and fish buns and little jelly treats, zomg, they had these weetiny yin/yang shaped (like, one of the halves) containers with apple jelly pudding in them! And they were very Hello Kitty looking packages. And weetiny soda pop bottles - like, the amount in a shot glass! EEEE!

All the tofu!! Mmmm, I have tofu and coconut milk and some chile paste and sundries to make a delicious tofu/milk soup. MMMMMMMMM!
Oct. 31st, 2007 05:06 pm (UTC)
I remember seeing a story about someone putting up MISSING: PET DOLPHIN posters in some neighborhood in Seattle. That made me laugh, too.

Mr. Darcy agrees that dog is evil. It's a Husky, therefore the Enemy.
( 36 comments — Leave a comment )


Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

Time Wot It Is

April 2017
Powered by LiveJournal.com