Laura Stone (stoney321) wrote,
Laura Stone

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Fic Post (oh god, I'm not right.) She's The Man - R

Title: Hey, Dude, Don't Tell Your Sister We Made Out, a.k.a. Dude Looks Like A Lady
Author: Stoney (for southernbangel)
Fandom/Rating: She's The Man, Rated R.
Summary: Takes place after the carnival when Viola and Duke kiss at the kissing booth, and goes (quasi)AU from there. Because there wasn't enough (homo-eroticism. And there should be more confusion, dammit! ...and it totally could have happened off screen. Re-watch the scene in the gym when Viola/Sebastian hugs Duke. Duke totally lets Sebastian cling to him. For those that haven't seen the movie, Amanda plays Viola and Viola impersonating her twin brother, Sebastian. Yay gender-bending teens!
Disclaimer: I have no intention of making money from this, and I'm prepared to lose friends over this. Ahaha. Ha.
A/N: I'm just pathetic, that's all. Also, I have a total girl crush on Amanda Bynes. (Um, the guy that plays Duke, although a terrible actor, is terribly pretty.) Thanks to marenfic for a quick beta.

~ * ~
Dude Looks Like A Lady
~ * ~

"Yeah, so, I sorta made out with your sister. I'm sorry, man."

"No man... it's okay. If you want to kiss, then you kiss her. You go right ahead and you kiss her! I mean, knock your self out! You just take her... then kiss her. Then kiss the crap out of her!"


~She's The Man


Viola couldn't sleep. Duke was right there, just feet away from her, probably in nothing but his boxers, right there. Just lying there being a good kisser and not being kissed and there she was, lying there in many protective layers of clothing, being a great kisser and not kissing anyone. Like her roommate. That thought she was her brother.

Viola could not sleep.

After an hour of replaying their kiss over and over, remembering his strong hands cupping her face, his firm lips slanting over hers, how hard his arms felt through his thin tee shirt, how good it felt to see him slam his fist into Justin's face... She knew what she needed to do to fall asleep, she just needed assurance she wouldn't get caught.

"Duke. Duke? You awake?" she whispered.

All she heard in response was his even breathing. He was completely out, then. She rolled onto her belly, her eyes fixed in the faint light on Duke's sleeping face, his long eyelashes resting on his cheek, his full lips slightly parted, one hand tucked underneath his pillow. Aww. How could such a strong guy be so adorable at the same time? And so completely hot?

Viola slid her hand under the elastic waist of her pajama bottoms and lightly traced her finger over herself. She could see the hollow of his cheek in the pale moonlight. Her fingers slid under each side of the elastic, teasing herself. She pinched and tugged gently, imagining someone else's broad, rough hand touching her. She rocked her hips down into the mattress, grinding rhythmically against her hand, wishing she wasn't all by herself in her bed. What if Justin hadn't interrupted them at the kissing booth? She had completely forgotten that there was a crowd watching them, all she cared about was how wonderful it felt to be kissing Duke, their arms entangled about each other.

As pressure built up in her belly, she closed her eyes and bit her lip to keep any noise from escaping her mouth. Viola couldn't help quietly saying, "Duke" as she increased her hand's pressure, rocking quickly onto her hand. She gave a final shudder as her climax spread in ripples down her body, and lay still, finally opening her eyes. Duke was looking right at her.


Duke had struggled all afternoon with his confusion. He knew that there was something... different about Sebastian, but hey. He ended up being a cool guy, not the chess playing, Doogie Howser, child prodigy freak they all thought he would be. And so what if he turned out to be gay, Duke didn't care about that stuff. He wasn't a dick; people could be gay or straight, or whatever. As long as they were cool, he was cool.

Sebastian hadn't come out, or anything, but Duke was pretty sure. Little things like being worried over a bloody nose, then covering as if he didn't care. "Suck it up. Rub some dirt in it." Holding Duke a little too close and for too long in a hug. Hugging.

Every now and then Duke got the feeling of being watched, and it was like when a girl was checking him out. When Andrew or Toby looked at him, he understood they were looking for cues from their team captain, or trying to figure out his new footwork on the field, or something. When Sebastian looked at him, he felt Sebastian's eyes checking out his body, stuff like that.

At first, it was weird. In a way, it was flattering. Not only the girls thought he was hot or whatever, but even some guys thought he was good looking. Not that he was gay. He very much liked girls. It was more like when Eunice offered to carry his milk carton to his table, or offered to do his entire year's worth of homework. He didn't want to be rude, that was nice of her and all, he just... wasn't interested.

But he didn't think of Sebastian like he thought of Eunice. Sebastian was pretty cool, after all. And he could talk to him about stuff he couldn't talk to the other guys about, like how nervous he was around girls, and how he felt they should be treated. How he wanted to be able to talk to a girl like Olivia the way he talked to Sebastian.

Every so often he got the impression that Sebastian was putting on a macho act, too. All the "G-man's" and that kind of thing. It just seemed... forced. And earlier, when Sebastian pretended to be a girl, that was just weird. He sounded just like a girl, moved like one, too. It only emphasized how... feminine Sebastian was.

He had to quit thinking like that. Sebastian was a guy, Duke was a guy, end of it. Even if Sebastian looked like he had silky soft skin and really full lips. And his slight build only emphasized Duke's powerful build, and he could probably crush Sebastian under his weight, but if he held himself up on his elbows--. He had to stop thinking like that.

Finding out that the hot girl at the kissing booth was Sebastian's sister only added to the confusion. On one hand, she was a great kisser and really pretty, but on the other, she reminded Duke so much of her brother that he thought for a moment that he was kissing her brother. Maybe they kissed the same...

Duke's eyes shot open at that last image and saw Sebastian in bed, quietly moaning. Duke had gone to boarding school long enough to know when a guy was jerking off. The unspoken rule was to turn away and pretend you didn't hear anything. Duke stayed where he was and watched.

Sebastian's eyes were closed and he was making small moans as his hips moved up and down into his mattress. Duke turned towards the mattress to hide his hard on and watched Sebastian lick his lower lip, bite it (just like his sister when she kissed me) and mouth something. His name? Duke tried to think of Viola to make his guilt for having an erection subside. Sebastian slowly opening his eyes after climaxing, exhaling, and looking right into Duke's eyes wasn't helping.


Viola's heart leapt into her throat, her face flushed, and her body felt as if it had been doused in cold water. How long had he been awake? How long had he been watching her? She was completely embarrassed, but part of her was glad. Part of her wanted him to know what he was doing to her.

Viola, quit it! You're a dude. A guy. Guys spank the monkey, flog the chicken, jerk the gherkin. I'm sure your brother does that... ewww. Okay, bad idea. Do not think of your brother doing this. Think of Duke doing this. Oh, god... Those hands? Remember him coming out of the shower the other day and he didn't get the towel wrapped around him fast enough, and... Oh. No! Stop it! Drag the outside of your foot over the ball, then switch to the inside foot and cut right. Oh, Duke looked so cute when he showed me how to do this the other day. He's so patient. And his thighs- VIOLA. He's looking at you.

"‘Sup. Uh, I had an itch, and-"

Quietly, Duke asked, "What were you thinking about?"

"Like, I said, Duke, I had an itch and-"

"You said my name."

"No, I said, ‘dude' ‘cause I was thinking about this hot chick from-"

"Who were you thinking about?"

Viola couldn't help it. She whispered passionately, "You."


"I said, uh, Eu...nice. Eunice. I think Toby's right, she does have a little something-something. I bet that head gear makes her mouth strong, know'm sayin', bro? And that asthma... If you listen to it just right, it's like she's panting, not gasping to breathe. Totally hot, seriously."

"Why do you do that? Dude, I know."

"You know? You know what? If you guys would only give her a chance, you'd see that Eunice has a, uh, she's got an interesting, um..."

"Sebastian, it's okay. I know you're gay. Bi. Whichever. You don't have to hide it from me."

Viola's heart skipped several thousand beats, or it felt like it had. There was a wild laugh building inside her. What was she doing to her poor brother? But then, what was this about Duke not caring if she was gay? If he was gay. Sebastian being gay. Was Duke gay? No, no, that was not a gay kiss they shared at the carnival. But... if he was gay, then maybe they could kiss some more. This soccer match needed to happen soon, or she was going to completely lose her mind. She wasn't seriously thinking of impersonating her brother as gay just to make out with the guy she was falling for, was she?

She had a horrible thought - what if Duke was gay, and then he wouldn't want Viola at all. And what would happen when her brother came home? She didn't think she could convince her brother to impersonate her. He looked terrible in sun dresses, they learned that in seventh grade.

"I'm not hiding nothing, Dawg, but my hairy chest." She cringed.

Duke sighed and rolled over, his back to her now. "You don't have to be like that. I'm okay with it. I don't care, Sebastian. I know you've got... feelings for me, too."

"What? No, I don't! You're my bro, Bro. Like... brothers."

She mouthed "I love you" to his back, then quickly put on her best "tough guy" face as Duke turned back to face her. She couldn't help notice that the blanket was down around his hips now, and she could see his sculpted chest. She crossed her legs under the blankets, rubbing her thighs against each other. Why couldn't she have been paired up with Malcolm for a roommate? Okay, that would have been the worst thing ever.

"Just... we're cool, okay? I'm okay with it."

"With what?"

"You being into me."

"Hey, I think you're a'ight, Duke, and I appreciate you helping me with soccer, but it's not like I think about you naked or kissing you passionately, or you climbing into my bed with me and-"

She clamped her mouth shut, a wild panic building inside her chest. "That's just gay, bro. I don't think about that?" she lamely ended.

"Do you?"

"Hmm?" She kept her lips closed tightly to prevent any more slip-ups.

"You think about that stuff?"


Duke got very quiet. He was looking at her intensely, as if he was struggling with something. "I think all guys do, at some point, you know? I mean just earlier..."

Viola could barely breathe. After a few moments, she found the air to speak. "What earlier? You just what earlier?" She was struggling to keep her voice calm and in a lower register.


"You can tell me. Dude, I'm your dude, bro," she tried. Her voice kept slipping into her natural higher register. "You can tell me anything."

"Naw, just... you know."

They lay in the dark silent for a few minutes, Viola feeling like her heart would explode. She wanted to jump up and throw her arms around him, but that could never happen. Her only choice was to get Duke to date her sister. Her, she meant. She needed Duke to date her as Viola.


Duke struggled with wanting to be cool to his friend, and wanting to figure out what his feelings from earlier meant. He didn't want to slap Sebastian in the face with hooking up with Viola. And kissing Viola was like kissing him in a way, so maybe Sebastian could be satisf–. Wait, what the hell was he thinking?

"So, uh, what was going on with you and my sister? You thinking of asking her out, or something?"

"I don't know.. Maybe."

Duke rubbed his face with both hands and got up to get a drink from the bathroom.

"Because, I'm cool with you hooking up with her. I think it's a great idea."

Duke set his glass down on the counter and sat on the edge of Sebastian's bed. "Listen, man, I won't do anything that would piss you off, cool? I mean, I don't want to screw up our friendship, so if it's too weird, or whatever, you know. Say the word."

Sebastian laid his hand over Duke's and looked up at him. "Yeah, bros before hos, am I right? It's cool. That's... really sweet." Duke barely registered that Sebastian had hooked his fingers around Duke's hand, like a girl would do. He looked at their hands in the moonlight and automatically stroked his thumb back and forth along the edge of Sebastian's hand, not looking his friend in the eye. Sebastian had really soft hands. Delicate. If the guy was that much like a girl, it wasn't gay, right?

He felt Sebastian pulling on his hand, trying to sit up. Duke leaned forward and met his mouth halfway. Sebastian clearly hadn't expected that; Duke backed off slightly, his mouth partly open and shocked at wishing Sebastian would open his.

"Hey, man, I just thought-"

His words were cut short by Sebastian's mouth on his. If he thought kissing his friend would make his confusion go away, he couldn't have been more wrong. Sebastian even kissed like his sister. Duke cupped his face to hold him in place, and rubbed his thumb along Sebastian's smooth jawline. With the exception of sideburns, it felt almost identical to kissing Viola from before.

He couldn't help it; he leaned forward, pushing Sebastian back onto the bed, shifting his weight onto his elbows. Loud warning bells were sounding in his mind, but it didn't stop him from tracing the edge of Sebastian's lip with his tongue, and it didn't stop the deep groan from escaping when Sebastian dragged his short nails up the length of Duke's arms, and down his back. Duke shifted again, bringing his leg up so he could rest more of his weight on his friend. Sebastian bucked up against him. Duke slipped his arms underneath him and tried to grind his hips down against Sebastian, but the moment Duke's hard on rubbed Sebastian's thigh, Sebastian pulled away.


Viola couldn't believe this was happening. He was kissing her, he was laying on top of her in her bed, even! He felt so good and she didn't want to stop, but he wasn't kissing her. He was kissing Sebastian. That was the cold water she needed.

"Duke, no - not like this. I... we can't."

Duke's face flushed red. "Sorry, I only-"

She cleared her throat and dropped her voice, "No, I mean, here we are talking about hot chicks and making out. Gets a guy all hot and horny. Makes... sense?"

"Yeah, sure... Okay." Duke shot off her bed and jumped into his in about a nanosecond. He turned his back to her and pulled the blanket up to his ears.



"Hey, I've got a test tomorrow, and we've got an early practice. I'm beat. Good night."

Viola sighed, "Good night."

And again, Viola could not sleep.

~ * ~
TBC, right here!
Tags: amanda bynes, fic, she's the man

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  • I'm really tired of the hate piled on Texas. Hope after last night you will, too.

    Last night I spent almost 6 hours on Twitter liveblogging the filibuster happening on the Texas State Senate floor for the people who couldn't get…

  • JFC.

    Like so many people in my neck of the woods (I'm in the DFW area of Texas, about an hour and a half north of West, TX), driving 1-35 is a torment.…

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