Here's my beef: I have asked REPEATEDLY for him to stop sending me this garbage. (Yes, I can block the email account, that's not feasible, since again, he and she are on a mission from god and this is the only way to communicate with my awesome aunt.) I could just delete this crap. But my conscience won't let me have this kind of thing floating around unchallenged, if that makes sense. (Which, I need to get over that.) So. I replied. To ALL. Because the people he sent it to were all their old church buddies from Utah. Oh, yes. Please, whitest state in the union, please tell me, a Texan, all about the dangers of illegal immigrants!
Here's the original, with fw:fw:fw:fw and the text all wonky and off-kilter from many AOL transfers. (Which, of course they're on AOL.) My MST comments in red.
Cheap Tomatoes THIS HAS GOT TO BE PASSED ALONG TO AS MANY AS POSSIBLE OR WE WILL ALL GO DOWN THE DRAIN BECAUSE A FEW DON'T CARE. This English teacher has phrased it the best I've seen yet. [really? can you even parse that sentence *you* wrote?]
Tomatoes and Cheap Labor
CHEAP TOMATOES? This should make everyone think, be you Democrat, Republican or Independent. From a California school teacher - - - 'As you listen to the news about the student protests over illegal immigration, there are some things that you should be aware of: I am in charge of the English-as-a-second-language department at a large southern California high school which is designated a Title 1 school, meaning that its students average lower socioeconomic and income levels. Most of the schools you are hearing about, South Gate High, Bell Gardens , Huntington Park , etc., where these students are protesting, are also Title 1 schools. Title 1 schools are on the free breakfast and free lunch program. When I say free breakfast, I'm not talking a glass of milk and roll, but a full breakfast and cereal bar with fruits and juices [THEY GIVE POOR KIDS JUICE? They're supposed to drink dirty ditch water, the HORROR.] that would make a Marriott proud [side note: this is a MORMON hotel chain. Um, and they're not that great. The food is quite crappy, actually.] The waste of this food is monumental, with trays and trays of it being dumped in the trash uneaten. [probably shouldn't have bought the cheapest meat, the meat that was later on a recall list.]
(OUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK) I estimate [oh, you *estimate*. There's some hard evidence] that well over 50% of these students are obese or at least moderately overweight [if this is even true, it's probably because CRAPPY FOOD is cheaper than HEALTHY food]. About 75% or more DO have cell phones [they shouldn't be allowed ANYTHING, because they are POOR. I hope I don't find out they have clothes and beds or... play SPORTS!] The school also provides day care centers for the unwed teenage pregnant girls (some as young as 13) so they can attend class without the inconvenience of having to arrange for babysitters or having family watch their kids. [Thank GOD that no white girl ever got pregnant out of wedlock. How lucky to have that be an innate trait among Caucasians. I mean, Americans. Also, so these people want them to drop out? Won't that put them further on the dole? Heaven forfend we get these people some education so they can do for themselves. What's that Jesus thing... something about getting a fish or fishing and teaching... I guess the letter writer can't remember either. Hem hem.]
(OUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK) I was ordered to spend $700,000 on my department or risk losing funding for the upcoming year even though there was little need for anything [OH REALLY. You're in the poorest school in California, and you can't think of anything to spend your money on? Riiiiiiiiight. Bitch.]; my budget was already substantial. I ended up buying new computers for the computer learning center, half of which, one month later, have been carved with graffiti by the appreciative students who obviously feel humbled and grateful to have a free education in America . [Again, what a blessing that no American-born white child ever defaced school property. Ever. In American history. note: I do not approve of defacing school property, I just don't isolate my dislike to one group of people.]
(OUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK) [Really? They're working? I thought they were languishing in Iraq... And not buying armored vehicles for our soldiers.] I have had to intervene several times for young and substitute teachers whose classes consist of many illegal immigrant students here in the country less then 3 months who raised so much hell with the female teachers, calling them 'Putas' (whores) and throwing things, [thank god we Americans - read: whites - have never had children that would say ugly words to a teacher. Because we are born with respect in our hearts, apple pie in our hand, and a bible on our knee. And you know, maybe that kid was that teacher's pimp. I'm just saying....] that the teachers were in tears. Free medical, free education, free food, day care etc., etc., etc. Is it any wonder they feel entitled to not only be in this country but to demand rights, privileges and entitlements? To those who want to point out how much these illegal immigrants contribute to our society because they LIKE their gardener [OH NO SHE DI'INT. Also, why the hell isn't her son our there trimming and mowing and working in 100+ temps? Hmm] and housekeeper and they like to pay less for tomatoes: spend some time in the real world of illegal immigration and see the TRUE costs. Higher insurance, medical facilities closing, higher medical costs, more crime, lower standards of education in our schools, over crowding, new diseases [NEW DISEASES?!?!?!?! Mexicans: Bringing New Diseases Since 1847! WTF?] etc, etc., etc. For me, I'LL PAY MORE FOR TOMATOES. [Knock your socks off. Unfortunately, you live in a CAPITALIST COUNTRY. And yet, you people who always bitch about supply and demand FUNCTIONING as it was set up will never let us move to a more SOCIALIST society. Shit or get off the pot, lady.]
We need to wake up. [Yes. you do.] A guest worker program will be a disaster because [more dark-skinned people will be here and my daughter might marry one] we (won't/don't) have the guts to enforce it. Does anyone in their right mind really think they will leave voluntarily and return? [Wait, will they leave, or come back? Also, they can LIVE BETTER HERE. Why the hell *wouldn't* they come back? See, if you let our country go completely to the dogs, then they won't come back. I've just solved this whole problem. Hahaha.] It does, however, have everything to do with culture [they paint their houses bright colors and listen to music that I only like to hear in Taco Bell]: A third-world culture that does not value education [oh really? Or maybe it's that they can't AFFORD our level of education, you horrible woman], that accepts [??? Quit making abortions so hard and PUT SEX ED BACK INTO SCHOOLS.] children getting pregnant and dropping out of school by 15 and that refuses to assimilate, and an American culture that has become so weak and worried about 'political correctness' [ah, your Democrat hate is showing, ma'am.] that we don't have the will to do anything about it. If this makes your blood boil, as it did mine, forward this to everyone you know. [Oh, my blood is boiling, but it's because people like you are so filled with bile and ugliness and hate your fellow man unless they look and sound just like you.]
CHEAP LABOR? Isn't that what the whole immigration issue is about? [Nope, that's what AMERICA is about. Surprise!] Business doesn't want to pay a decent wage. [No, it's that they want to find the best person for the least amount of money. Like how you go to McDonald's and order off the dollar menu or shop at Wal-Mart. Idiot.] Consumers don't want expensive produce. Government will tell you Americans don't want the jobs. [And they're right. Where's the American offering to pour tar on a roof in July in Arizona?] But the bottom line is cheap labor. The phrase 'cheap labor' is a myth, a farce, and a lie. There is no such thing as 'cheap labor.' [Actually, there is. Do you know how to make words work?] Take, for example, an illegal alien with a wife and five children. [Nice and subtle. 5 kids. Those Mexicans with their disregard for the rest of us, popping out kids like the filthy people they are. What a blight on humanity!!! Oh, wait. Every Mormon I know has at least five, some eight, nine, and ten kids. And shop at Costco and Wal-mart to save a buck to support their over-populated families.] He takes a job for $5.00 or 6.00 hour. [Which is under the federally regulated minimum wage, mind. Oh, did you not mention that, Ms. Letter Writer?] At that wage, with six dependents, he pays no income tax, yet at the end of the year, if he files an Income Tax Return, he gets an 'earned income credit' of up to $3,200 free. [Who are these magical illegal immigrants, these mythical migrant workers that FILE TAXES??? Oh, you mean the Mexican that owns the house down the street from you and has lived there for ten, fifteen years. Um, probably he's legal at this point. And welfare is legal, moron.] He qualifies for a Section 8 house and rent subsidy. [They should live on the street and panhandle! how dare they aspire to a roof over their heads!] He qualifies for food stamps. [We're letting them EAT now?? But he's poor! And Mexican!] He qualifies for free (no deductible, no co-pay) health care [at a health clinic where he will wait for hours to get a flu shot or his thumb sewn back on because he was cutting your trees t. The trees your husband or your teen-aged son couldn't be arsed to do.] His children get free breakfasts and lunches at school. [Those sons of bitches. Eating! Like they're entitled to have FOOD!] He requires bilingual teachers and books. He qualifies for relief from high energy bills [Because the white "Smartest Guys In The Room" screwed up the energy market so bad that even *gasp!* white GRANDMAS needed gov't assistance. But they're white. And grandmas. So they can have relief.] If they are or become, aged [let's hope they don't live long? What??], blind or disabled [because they fell off your roof because you hired him on the side of the road to do cheap work on your house and didn't have proper OSHA equipment and regulations...], they qualify for SSI. Once qualified for SSI they can qualify for Medicare. All of this is at (our) taxpayer's expense. He doesn't worry about car insurance, life insurance, or homeowners insurance. Taxpayers provide Spanish language signs, bulletins and printed material. He and his family receive the equivalent of $20.00 to $30.00/hour in benefits. [AHAHAHAHAHA. NO. Wrong. Try again, dumb ass.]
Working Americans are lucky to have $5.00 or $6.00/hour left after paying their bills and his [Maybe you should have gotten a better paying job. Maybe you shouldn't put yourself into crippling debt, buying things in bulk and getting new cars and things all the damn time.] The American taxpayers also pay for increased crime, graffiti and trash clean-up [because only Mexicans participate in this. No good, honest, red-blooded Christian American child ever committed a crime. Or stole food to make sure their family didn't go hungry because they were denied those free breakfasts and lunches for their kids.] Cheap labor? YEAH RIGHT! Wake up people! THESE ARE THE QUESTIONS WE SHOULD BE ADDRESSING TO THE PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES FOR EITHER PARTY. 'AND WHEN THEY LIE TO US AND DON'T DO AS THEY SAY! WE SHOULD REPLACE THEM AT ONCE!' THIS HAS GOT TO BE PASSED ALONG TO AS MANY AS POSSIBLE OR WE WILL ALL GO DOWN THE DRAIN BECAUSE A FEW DON'T CARE.
AMEN!!! [Jesus Wept.]
So, here's a little tidbit for the people that love this sort of email and nod their heads and yell "They took er jerbs!" JESUS WAS AN ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT.
I am going to not read any of the emailed replies that come back on this stupid thing. I made the mistake of reading one woman's reply to mine and she told me I owed my uncle an apology. No, white woman from the Salt Lake City suburbs. I don't. My kids went to a Title 1 school, with 80% Hispanic kids. And you know what? Those were the kids whose families showed up to take them home and showed them loads of love. I'm talking tias y abuelas y papi y mami there every afternoon. The white kids got picked up by their nannies, or their moms on their way to Pilates and the babysitter. <-- no exaggeration. There was a distinct line between the have's and the have nots in that neighborhood.
Also, the school taught the kids both Spanish and English, so that when they eventually went back home to Mexico, they wouldn't be illiterate in two languages. And I bet (I don't have the stats right here) but I bet that doing all of this costs a hell of a lot less than buying artillery for this stupid war in Iraq. And hey: teaching and helping and feeding the poor was what Jesus taught. Blowing up brown people for believing differently wasn't on Christ's agenda. Surprise!
I HATE IT WHEN I'M MORE CHRISTIAN THAN CHRISTIANS. But no, atheists have no morals. BTW: if you agree with the original email, I have nothing further to say to you. Don't bother commenting with the hope of getting into a discussion with me. I'll just send you here, and then laugh a bit, because he's funny. Caustic, but funny. If you want to stop this, then don't go after the poor people, who are just trying to freaking survive and do a bit better than they were in their former country. Go after the COMPANIES THAT HIRE THEM ILLEGALLY in order to float the costs under the table. Hey, what's that? Reason?
Maybe this will convince these people to stop emailing me. Or I can keep shoving their noses in their own filth. Either way. (viciouswishes. I took a page out of your book on this one. *beams*) And now I'm off to get my blood pressure checked at the dr's. Hahaha. Wheeee!
*not scientifically proven