Laura Stone (stoney321) wrote,
Laura Stone

  • Mood:

Dude, it's not even *March* yet.

Dear Owner/User of a Leaf Blower:

I guess no one's ever come right out and said this to you before, so please. Allow me.

You're an asshole. And worse than that, you're a lazy asshole. Let me walk you through the whys.

  • You pulled a shoe-box sized amount of weeds from your garden. Surely you can pick those up, or sweep them.
  • You blew them into the street.
  • What won't come into my yard, goes into the storm drain. When those clog up (and they do) they flood our street.
  • They are freakin' LOUD. To the tune of 80 - 95 decibels, the equivalent of a subway train at three feet's distance.
  • Did I mention that they might (read: most likely will) blow into my yard?
  • Know how you're the type that complains about "illegal immigrants takin' er jerbs?" I bet you could hire my son or another young man/lady to rake and bag your garden waste for you.
  • Or you know, you could stop hiring lawn companies that don't know what they're doing, charge you a bundle, and hire illegal immigrants.
  • You are overweight. I bet raking leaves would be a good way to comply with your doctor's orders. (A grown man can burn around 460 calories raking leaves.)
  • The least you could do is USE THE VACUUM/MULCHER BUILT INTO YOUR MACHINE. That way, it goes into its OWN bag. You just have to dump it out. Surely that's not too taxing for you?

Next time I spend two hours pulling your waste (and the guy across the street's, and the guy two houses down's waste) from my flower beds, I'm going to upend the bag on your front step with a note:

"Ooops! Looks like you misplaced your yard waste! Here you go!
Thoughtful neighbor"

P.S. There's no little grass fairy that collects your scraps from the street after you've gone inside. IT'S ME.

Grow up and be responsible.

Tags: gardening, rant
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