- "the scent of new pussy filled the air" Renuzit's second most popular air freshner! (Behind Citrus Delite)
- "his skeleton closet was full and he wasn't interested in adding more bones" Ba dum bump ching! Paul Lynde pops up: Oh, we'll see about that, ha ha ha!
- "She marinated in her juices ever since" After being brought up to room temperature, she was ready to be dressed and put in the oven at 375 for 20 minutes a pound. It was going to be a long night.
- "Remember that frat party when I passed out. I woke up the next morning with an ocean between my legs." One: Buffy likes talking in monotone. Second: did someone drag her to the Santa Monica pier and spread her legs? Oh. "Sea-men" I get it. Ewwww.
- "Fuck me until I bleed" Which according to the lunar cycle is in 23 days. Go!
- "he pictured his mulky white excitement running to the corners of her mouth, only seconds away from dripping down her chin. He watched her catch it before it dropped, like a bullfrog catching a fly." That is HAWT!!! Bullfrogs are fucking SEXY. Am I right?
- "he kissed her heated center like a Pope's ring before pulling back the hood." Checks notes for sexy references... Pope's ring... Check. Hood on pussy... Hmm. Hood on pussy... *flips pages* Wait. Does Buffy have an uncircumcised dick? That TOTALLY changes the story.
- "She needed a vibrator, a cup of coffee, and the Saturday morning paper. In that order." But what if the paper had an ad for free vibrators, and the first 100 people to show up got free coffee? You'd be pretty pissed that you had been so regimental in your "structured" Saturday, ya fucking Nazi.
- "the compass of his fingers found her spot." William/Spike is an accomplished cartographer. Now 'True North' has a different meaning for you, huh?
- "his fingers worked magic inside her, casting a spell of cum." ACCIO ORGASM!
- "Like a fat man at a buffet, he was filling up on her." I'm thinking Buffy is getting dehydrated at this point.
- "She came like a high powered showerhead." Now I KNOW she is. shift Buffy so the spray hits my shoulder Ahh. Got that kink out.
- "his dick seated itself in her audience" She's a little trollop, isn't she? AND WHAT THE HELL DOES THIS MEAN???
- "They fucked until the sun danced over the horizon." *sounds of tap dancing* JAZZ HANDS!
By the way, all of this is in ONE CHAPTER.
And the last one, and the best IMO:
"It was sweating season." WABBIT SEASON!!