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So the fun question of the day is: Where has Stoney been? (note: there are tons of pics under the cut, so be aware if you're on dial up.)

Poll #1198579 Oh, yeah. I forgot about her. Where the hell was she?

I think she (Stoney) was:

arrested and thrown in the pokey where she now has a wife and is something of a legend for her toilet bowl wine.
unable to get back to the Island after Locke "moved" it.
passed out in her Viper for three months and possibly is now a Cylon. (which means she's boning Anders. Nice.)
taken hostage by the Jessops and forced into polygamy; she thinks it's peachy keen now!
chased a rabbit down a hole and forced to eat cookies that made her big, she cried, then she drank some stuff and became "small." Hilarity ensued.
I will click the cut to find out!

In my house. DEAD IN THE WATER. Meaning, I had:

  • no HOME phone
  • no CELL phone
  • no INTERNET.
  • no SATELLITE for my TV.

I hope you are crying blood tears for me, because it was AWFUL. TWO WEEKS. Two weeks with no PHONE, let alone the other stuff. Why, you might be asking? Well, we point to Mr. Stoney on this debacle. He felt we could get a better deal by switching all of that from AT&T to Time Warner (satellite to cable, in other words.) They came and hooked us up two weeks ago, and we hated the cable. First of all, we have a ridiculously large HD tv and they didn't have but four HD channels on their current package for my area. After twenty minutes, I had a headache from all the grainy images. We switched back to AT&T.

Not so fast, Missy! You have to wait for the last company to release your phone number before they can switch the phones back. First off. Second off, I needed a technician to come back and re-hook the cables around in my attic and no one was available until this past Friday. So that's over a week, already with no form of entertainment. Guys, I had to ENJOY MY KIDS. Torture, I tell ya. (Hahaha. We had a lot of fun without TV, who knew?)

But my beloved internet! No worries, I'm a camper-type. I can rough it with the best of them. I figured I'd just use the time to write. Well, guess who saved all of her reference material online? *head desk* So I wrote Mormon missionary porn. \o/ And I gardened (pics coming at the end.) And I read. And I cleaned my house. And I stared at the dead TV and monitor, a shadow of my former self. *single tear*

I finally got my internet turned on, but then it turned out we had a bad modem. GAAAAH!! So I went out and bought one, waiting for AT&T to ship me one, and... Nothing. Still wouldn't work. On the phone for HOURS trying to get online. Finally, their modem came, got it in, installed, powered, and STILL NO INTERNET. More hours on the phone, finally figured out they had our account set to "dial up" (NO.) and got everything back. After... three days of phone calls. *head desk again* BUT I AM BACK, and just late enough to have missed all the wank, all the polygamy hoo-ha (oh my god, I can't even. I'm sick about it.) and whatever else kept you entertained with your delicious, tasty internet access.

Oh!!!! A MASSIVE thing happened while I was away. I HAVE LAID DOWN THE SWORD against my mother in law. No, really. You will not hear me gripe about her again. (Unless she does something completely stupid, I mean, come on. I'm only human.) Why? I'll tell you: SHE GAVE MY KIDS COLLEGE MONEY. As in, two years of a good university's tuition. All three of them. (The Mr. has created bank accounts for them to grow, so that by the time they are ready for college, all four years + should be well paid for, plus any incidentals.) Um, I cried. I won't even lie. She got a massive hug from me, many tears, and my gratitude. (I had to put myself through college because my dad is a tight-wad. Which, hey. I'm proud that I did. But man would it have been easier to have gone to school without working three jobs + 20 credit hours every semester.) So. I heart her tunz.

In conclusion: I hate the stone age when I'm forced to live in it. I want to choose to live that way.

OH!!!! Another thing I forgot. Blood on the Highway played in an Italian film festival last weekend (I know! Italy?!) and they LOVED IT. Huge laughs, clapping and cheering, and people tried to steal the movie posters from the lobby. \o/ Our producer talked to one of the men that ran the festival (say this in a thick accent) and he said, "We love it! It's sleazy, is good!" Hahahaha! We've got a San Antonio film festival in a few weeks, then a big showing with bands and such here in Dallas in mid-July, then off to AFI in Chicago, I believe. I'm not sure on that last one...

Okay, on to the gardening pics, for those interested! I ripped out 10 holly bushes along the side of my house and a large chunk of Bermuda a few weeks ago. I put in loads of wee tinnies. It's in the baby stages, so don't expect lush gorgeousness. (I expect that next year. *G*) Plus, everything up front is going crazy nuts.

Along the wall are mock oranges "Snow White" which is an ever-blooming variety. They smell like a delicate gardenia, and will grow to over 8 feet tall. Mostly evergreen, unless we have a hard winter. This bed is about 10 feet deep. In front of those shrubs in the middle are evergreen shrubs from New Zealand, Hebe. They are loved by hummers and butterflies and put out pink blossoms similar to a buddelia. The leaf is dark green with fucsia underneath, so they don't stand out against the compost currently there. The little pink guys up front are periwinkles, there to anchor the soil until the ajugas grow in.

This is a new plant for me, a black liriope, or monkey grass as it's also called down here. It has baby-pink blossoms, which are insignificant. They turn into black berries that birds like, which is why I have them. Also, I like black plants against silver. They grow in larger clumps, there are three in this space currently.

This is one of my... eight? varieties of day lilies. I'm a big fan. Easy to grow, nothing to do to them except cut the stalks off at the end of the year. Plus, the easiest plant to divide, next to irises.

My little Hope cat sniffing one of my pots. Inside are: cordyline (the center purple spikey plant), lime green sweet potato vine, a purlsane, a purple sweet potato vine (they are TERRIFIC plants and all you need is one of each - you can make babies from them easily) a variegated vinca (makes blue flowers) and a moss rose. I'll take a picture at the end of the summer, and you won't be able to see anything but plant material. They all get big and over-flowy.

My Sally Derg sniffing a plumeria in a noble fashion.

The view from the front corner. 1."sun drops" and the scientific name fails me. I'll edit when I remember. (I love this plant and have one or two in every bed. Easy, drought tolerant like crazy, and blooms over and over.)
2."humming bird bush" and they are all over this when it blooms, red tubular flowers. I can't remember the real name for this, either. Gargh. Self sows, and I have these popping up all over my garden, btw. And I don't mind. See: hummingbirds.
3. Meadow sage, a great, drought tolerant plant, blooms over and over and bees love it.
4. a purple-leafed canna that will bloom in a bright orange. Very striking and easy plant. (Notice a trend?)
5. Russian sage, and I loooove this. Silver, deeply cut leaves, purple blossoms that stay in bloom, and hummingbird moths love this and flock to it at dusk. I have these all over, too, and it self-sows if you let it. (I do.)
6. My big rosemary that moved from the back to the new bed and is quite happy there. It's about 4 1/2 feet tall.
7. Various sedums, a purple one that blooms hot pink, and a limey-yellow that blooms white, plus, to the right are the old standby, Autumn Joy Stonecrop.
8. Curry! I have a thing for silver plants, too. It's evergreen, will self-sow if you leave the blossoms to go to seed.
9. Spanish lavender, the only kind that thrives here as it's native (the Spaniards brought it. One chick on LJ gave me shit a few years ago and told me lavender wasn't native here after I mentioned it was. HEY: TEXAS? 6 Flags? One of them Spanish? Several centuries ago? It's native.)
10. Another day lily, this one an old fashioned that blooms delicate, buttery yellow and smells like a tea rose. Do your day lilies smell? probably not. That's the problem with hybridization, woe. A close up coming up, btw.
11. Texas bluebells! Oh, I love this plant. Blooms from now through November, and I have more to put out. Perennial, gets bigger and better every year. These just started blooming two days ago.
12. Liatris, or Gayfeather. I loooove this. Hot pink blossoms, just starting to bud, and the blossoms open from the bottom to the top. Other varieties are called "firecracker plant" because of that feature. A bulb, they grow larger both in height and width every year. Can divide and separate the bulbs every three years and multiply your crop.

Here's the driveway bed sans bluebonnets. (I got two GALLONS of seed from my little patch. Nice.) That's a red gladiolus about to bloom. The top of that stalk comes to my shoulder. I'm 5' 6". It's... four years old? That stalk appeared over night, no lie.

The view from my front door. Those are day lilies - another variety - with big, tall stalks waiting to bloom. The bushy thing just beyond and to their right is another of those hummingbird bushes. It's a volunteer plant. (Meaning: I didn't plant it, it just showed up.)

The far edge of that front bed against the house. The delicate white flowering plant is anything but delicate. That's a Gaura, and they're terrific. They self sow, and I need to dig up the one in the front and move it as it's covering the walkway. :) Behind it and where the arrow is pointing is that weetiny water feature I put in back in April. It's a little secret spot, now. Which is safer for birds and buns - Darthanne doesn't like thrashing through the flowers. \o/

More of that back bed, shifted left.
1. Russian sage
2. Echinacea, a.k.a. Purple Coneflower. I love this guy. Easy, self sows, pretty and long-lasting flowers. Everybody (creature) loves this guy. Me, too. (Those are all grown from seed, every one you see in my bed.)
3. the Meadow sage, needing to be cut back so it'll keep flowering all summer. It's a vivid indigo when it blooms. (I love blue in the flower bed - it's such an unusual color.)
4. You can't see this well, but when it blooms, it knocks your socks off. This is a Mexican bush sage, and it has long, feather-duster-looking blossoms in ultra-violet. Blooms through frost, which is almost December for us.
5. my bi-colored irises, all done for spring, but will bloom again in July. (Blue and white. It's a thing with me.)

From the bottom of the "rock" bed looking up, those are the Texas bluebells, with a French hollyhock to the right. (Closeups coming.) Sorry for the crappy exposure - the sun was coming up right behind me. The pink plant between the rocks in the background is skullcap, a tough and pretty plant. The spikey blade-leafed plant is crocosmia, with day lilies sending up flower stalks to the far right.

Shifting over a bit to the right, there's the hollyhock. That is one of my FAVORITE flowers of all, and the plant comes and goes every two years, and turns up somewhere new each time. I had no idea any seeds made it to the new bed, so I was very happy to see it turn up. You can see the skullcap better here, and that's the rosemary in the background.

A closeup on the French hollyhock. Isn't that GORGEOUS? Each blossom is the size of a quarter. <3 <3 <3

Crocosmia, "Lucifer." The light was really bright and yellow this morning, but these are BLOOD red. They bloom all summer long, these lovely, delicate tendrils of blossoms. A bulb that naturalized. Excellent for crappy soil, if you see them, BUY THEM. A terrific care-free plant that's beautiful and draws hummers.

My second favorite flower of all time, and I use this guy to introduce kiddos to gardening. A "Bat face" cuphea, and if the wind wasn't blowing, I think you could see the detail better. Two wee pointed ears, a purple face, and the stamens poke out and look like eyes. This is a volunteer plant - it only lives for two or three years, but if you let it go to seed, new babies will crop up. I'm delighted to say I have five wee babies making an attempt in random places in my beds.

A thick stand of day lilies next to the Gaura. I actually don't like this particular one because of the color. It's such a... I don't know, "grandma" color of "blush rose." I'm weird. That's the meadow sage blooming underneath. (It's fading, telling me it's time for a haircut.)

This is that old fashioned day lily. Those blossoms are the size of a man's fist. Gorgeous and smell VOONDERBAH. I love the ruffled edge.

The last of the Easter lilies, the star-gazers are behind, waiting their turn. That stand is about three feet tall.

Here's a red lily that I have NO IDEA where it came from. It just showed up!

Another shot of the Baby Jesus lily - the miracle out of nowhere plant. :D That's a flowering quince in the top left, and the silver plant is a mounding artemesia (wormwood) and is a FANTASTIC ground cover, soft as kittens, and needing no supplemental water.

The first Datura blossom (Angel's trumpet.) This is the toughest plant. Eaten every. single. year by tomato horn worms, and usually devoured to the stems about three times a year. Comes back within DAYS, no lie. And hey - they can chomp on this all they want, just leave the 'maters. These blooms open at dusk and stay open all night, attracting lovely moths. (Say, the Sphinx moth, which comes from.... a tomato horn worm. *g*) This plant can take sun or shade, water or no water, good soil, or crappy soil. This one grows to five feet wide and about four feet tall. If it was out in the open, it would grow to a good eight feet. It's poisonous to grazing animals, so don't plant this near goats or cattle. Or curious toddlers.

That's uh... probably enough damage to your flist. :D



( 80 comments — Leave a comment )
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Jun. 3rd, 2008 02:49 pm (UTC)
Your garden is incredible! I have *such* a black thumb it isn't funny, and I'm always jealous of those who can make things grow!
Jun. 3rd, 2008 03:02 pm (UTC)
Poor black thumb! But hey - think of all the strain on your back you save! :D

(And thank you very much! <3)
Jun. 3rd, 2008 02:55 pm (UTC)
how pretty. I'm glad I looked under the cut!
Jun. 3rd, 2008 03:02 pm (UTC)
Oh, thank you! I can't take proper pictures, and the light is really over-bright, but I <3 my little garden. :)
Jun. 3rd, 2008 02:55 pm (UTC)
STONEY'S BACK FROM THE STONE AGE!!!!!!!! Here I thought you'd gone on vacation...

I don't even know where to start on the garden pics. *iz jealous* We're finally in growing season and half my garden is dead already from drought. Hopefully it'll come back with this nice rainy day we're having. I love your lillies. Gorgeous! They are the one flower I can't go near due to allergies. And I'm intrigued by the monkey grass, such an interesting looking plant!

Welcome back Stoney!!!
Jun. 3rd, 2008 03:05 pm (UTC)
I did not go on vacation! I have nothing to show for my time away except for a clean house, and who wants that!?! :D

Oh, no to the lily allergy! I am so sad for you. Well, you can look at the pictures and spare your lungs and nostrils. I looooove this variety of liriope. The normal green version is a plant I loathe, so when I saw the black... Lovely! (I mean, who wants a boring stand of grass in the bed? The green version does nothing, but black... Now, that's cool. There's also a nice variegated species that looks nice - they do very well up north. Pretty much anywhere can grow liriope, I believe.)

Jun. 3rd, 2008 02:58 pm (UTC)

I love seeing pictures of your garden. I have massive envy as I live in an apartment. I think if I had something like that, I'd live outdoors.

What a generous gift from your MIL. I work at a university, and I honestly don't know how the families manage it, and how kids deal with paying back huge loans after they graduate. It's a tremendous financial burden.

"We love it! It's sleazy, is good!"

Jun. 3rd, 2008 03:06 pm (UTC)
Then I'm happy to share pictures! (And I'm out on my front porch for hours every day, reading, writing, napping. I love my little patch. *G*)

And seriously, my heart grew three sizes that day, when she passed out little envelopes and hand written notes telling each of my babies how much they meant to her. *sobs*

Hahaha, isn't that hilarious? And... it's true. Hee!
Jun. 3rd, 2008 03:11 pm (UTC)
ZOMG YOU ARE NOT DEAD. Maren and I were all, "Is she dead? MAYBE SO." Z.O.M.G. YOU ARE NOT DEAD.

1. SO GLAD you are not dead. I was really to be all mournful and shit, complete with wailing and beating on my chest.

2. I hope your kids are smart and will use the college money your MIL gave them for what it's really intended: hookers and blow. If not, your children are DEAD TO ME. (That is awesome, though. Now you and Mr. Stoney can say, "Fuck you, kids. Your college is taken care of, so leave us alone." \O/)

3. Garden pics are gorgeous! I love the hollyhock (the purple is so beautiful), and the vibrant colors of the bat face flower.

4. (ACK! Forget to add this earlier.) AWESOME NEWS ABOUT BotH! Dude, now you're, like, internationally famous and shit.

ZOMG YAY YOU ARE NOT DEAD. ILUSTONEY. <3 x a millionsquillion

Edited at 2008-06-03 03:13 pm (UTC)
Jun. 3rd, 2008 03:30 pm (UTC)
LEE I AM NOT DEAD. Just in my soul, though. (Maren called last night JUST as my cell service was repaired. I think she's stalking me.)

1. Yay! I can cling to this comment instead of commiting LJ Harikari, then.
2. THEY WILL. I will ensure they get high and laid, yo.
3. Isn't that the prettiest little thing?? I heart it, Lee. I HEART IT.
4. Isn't that funny? The Mr. and I want to vacation in that little Italian town and see if I get mauled. Italian men on me = AWESOME.
Jun. 3rd, 2008 03:12 pm (UTC)
You're garden is a amazing, I just want to come smell the flowers.
Congrats on the good response to the movie. *woohoo* You need a sleazy good icon or something. May distribution be in your future.
That was major cool of your mom-in-law, because I got about 30 years of paying left on my student loans. I would have cried to if I were you.
Jun. 3rd, 2008 03:31 pm (UTC)
Oh, thank you! I'll clear a spot for you on my bench for when you can come. :)

Isn't that funny? I think it's pretty hilarious the Italians love white trash women.

I am SO THANKFUL for my MiL, no lie.
Jun. 3rd, 2008 03:28 pm (UTC)
The garden looks fantastic. You gardened in this heat? Stoney, you are tough.

Your MIL found the way to your heart. What a wonderful, thoughtful gift.
Jun. 3rd, 2008 03:33 pm (UTC)
Pshh, I have a camelback I wear to keep hydrated. *pounds fist to chest* Strong like bull. :D (I still have a second stairway/walkway of stones to lay on the fat side of that new flower bed... Maybe tomorrow. *g*)

It really, really was. I'm a sucker for people being generous to my kids. Who knew? :)
Jun. 3rd, 2008 03:32 pm (UTC)
ZOMG!!! That garden. I am speechless! Wowza once again. It doesn't even look like the roofers-of-evil had even been there.
And yay for college tuition!
Jun. 3rd, 2008 03:34 pm (UTC)
Oh, my GOODNESS. The weeping maple, just evident in the faaaaaar left corner of the first and second pics was twice as tall, and about three times as full. :( I had to put other things around it to keep it from looking so sad and pathetic.) And thank you, very much for the compliment!

College tuition = HUGE BREATH OF RELIEF!
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Jun. 3rd, 2008 03:53 pm (UTC)
Oh, thank you, Mari!

I'm glad to be back, too! It's... unnerving to not have access to the outside world, that's for sure. (And she is GOLDEN in my eyes now. So thoughtful and touching. <3)
Jun. 3rd, 2008 03:41 pm (UTC)
Wait, isn't Datura one of the most powerful crazy psychotropics evar?

Thanks for the update!! I am so happy for your lush garden and this is the first I'm hearing about BOTH Dallas show + bands!
Jun. 3rd, 2008 03:55 pm (UTC)
Yeesh, I have no idea! I know that it is DEADLY poisonous, so I really wouldn't attempt to find the answer to that, no lie. (Now, desert sage, on the other hand...)

Isn't that cool? It's at the Lakewood on... July 12th? I don't know the time, but Beth and Chris will know, certainly. HI ANGIE!! You've been on a big ol' road trip, right? I'll go zoom to your journal and see if you've updated.

Jun. 3rd, 2008 03:43 pm (UTC)
The flowers are nice and all, but SALLY!!!!!!!!!!! She's so cute. :)

So sorry about the tv/internet/phone debacle. We've had frustrations with Qwest, but there's no way we'd switch to cable. The HD tv is a big part of it. I just can't give up my satellite. But god I hate Qwest. Ugh.

Jun. 3rd, 2008 03:57 pm (UTC)
HEEEEEE. I mean, how adorable is your namesake? If you look at the top of the pic with Hope, you'll see her foot. Just after I snapped that picture, she licked Hope from head to tail, and Hope purred. They're BFF. :D

UGH, it's so ridiculously frustrating when simple machines stop working as they should. And... phone! Both of them! I kind of needed them, as the Mr. was in California and Arkansas on business for most of those two weeks. Good thing no one died. O_O

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Jun. 3rd, 2008 03:44 pm (UTC)
YAY I AM SO GLAD YOU'RE BACK! Stupid stone age. How was it boning Anders? I WANT DETAILS.

So I wrote Mormon missionary porn.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Best pastime ever.

Jun. 3rd, 2008 03:58 pm (UTC)
The funny thing is how you and I emailed just before all of this, and I said something like, "Oh, I've been gone for a day or two because blah blah blah" and then the RUG WAS PULLED OUT FROM UNDER ME. Woe.

And Anders? He does this thing with his hips that makes me peel the paint off the walls. :D

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Jun. 3rd, 2008 03:53 pm (UTC)
Your yard is amazing. We are in Fort Worth, and I am going to show my partner these pictures. She wants to redo our front yard, and I think your beds look perfect for what she is wanting. We are trying to xeriscape, and do all native plants, and in the back yard we have vegetable gardens, a grape arbor, an herb garden, and blueberries. But we have 3 or 4 little beds around the mesquites that need "something"...and this is just the impetus we need to get going on them. We threw about 15 bags of detritis out of the yard last week, and our compost is actually producing dirt for us finally, so we are on the way.
Jun. 3rd, 2008 04:02 pm (UTC)
Hello! Oh my god, there are some BEAUTIFUL gardens in Fort Worth. (There's a garden tour coming up this weekend, in fact, if you're looking for more inspiration.)

I'm a big fan of natives and xeriscape. You have that wonderful acidic soil out in Ft. Worth - I'm all koliche clay which means no blueberries or raspberries, unless I grow them in pots. In about three years, my beds (with regular applications of compost and other organics) soften up, so I'm looking forward to these new beds doing well. That front bed close to the sidewalk was something I put in this past October, so it's in its beginning stages, still.

Yay for making your own compost! It makes such a difference, both to your wallet and the soil. (In case you didn't know, you can stick your old towels, sheets, teeshirts, and jeans in there, too.)

Good luck!
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Jun. 3rd, 2008 03:53 pm (UTC)
Oh, gaura, I love the stuff but it's not dependably perennial in my garden (elsewhere in the neighborhood, yes, so much it's used in public plantings)- either the cold air drainage, the northern exposure, or the sandiness is not to its taste.

The Datura pic is very O'Keefe.

Julia, needing to weed today but it's pouring rain

Edited at 2008-06-03 03:53 pm (UTC)
Jun. 3rd, 2008 04:04 pm (UTC)
I'm sad to hear you can't have Gaura! I have a pink variety that doesn't do well. The leaves mottle and it doesn't produce an abundance of flowers like the white. I've got one last patch I need to rip out, in fact.

Haha, it is! Excellent notice.

Rain? I'm jealous. :) (It's hitting close to 100 today, and no rain in sight. Here it comes...)
Jun. 3rd, 2008 03:57 pm (UTC)

and i'm super!glad that you're back.


Jun. 3rd, 2008 04:04 pm (UTC)
SNOW!! *grabs you and twirls*

So glad to be back and see your shining face! Er, in a manner of speaking. :D
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( 80 comments — Leave a comment )


Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

Time Wot It Is

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