Laura Stone (stoney321) wrote,
Laura Stone

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A Birthday Story of Beauty, Hope, and a Girl Named "Carrots."

With massive apologies to L.M. Montgomery. And those who love her.

It seems I forgot the birthday of one of the most important people in my life (no lie) by the name of lynnenne. For that, she gets a heart-warming story of a little red-headed girl named Vinnie, and the local boy that wants to be a doctor and have her/him for a wife, James.

One upon a time there was a sad little orphan girl who everyone mistreated named Vinnie. He worked for the horrid Brewsters for a few years, and they had three sets of twins. Three! Now, that was just too much. Evidently, it was, as Mr. Brewster died. Mrs. Brewster was a hateful old cow who not only parceled out her kids to undeserving relatives, she also blamed her husband's death on poor little orphan Vinnie. This made him even sadder than the saddest of the sad.

One day the lady that ran the orphanage said she was going to live with an old couple on Prince Edward Island, which was very exciting, as Halifax at the time was a shithole and PEI was The Place To Be. So Vinnie packed up her carpet bag with the loose handle, said goodbye to Katie-in-the-Glass, and waited at the trainstop, chattering like a magpie to anyone that would listen to him.

"I'm going to live on Prince Edward Island where people keep their word and friendships last forever!" she happily cried.

A very shy and old man - he's old so we don't have to worry about him doing anything untoward - came to pick her up, but was surprised because he thought he was picking up a boy. Nope, he was picking up Vinnie. She happily chattered to Matthew all the way to his house, Green Gables, until they came to a path lined with cherry trees.

Matthew thought to himself, "Finally, something to shut her up."

After several scrapes and snafus, Vinnie finally got to go to school. Fortunately, Vinnie was smart. I mean sharp as a tack. Her new bosom friend, Diana, whispered to Vinnie that the cutest boy in school was checking her out. Vinnie sat straighter in her chair; she was in school to learn I thank you very much.

"What's his name?" she finally whispered back to Diana.


"Hmph." Vinnie stuck her pert, freckled nose in the air, ignoring the "psst!"s and "ahem!"s from James.

James was clearly having none of this as he dared to call out, "Hey! Carrots!"

Well. If there was one thing Vinnie Shirley wouldn't stand for, it was mocking her hair color. She jumped to her feet, picked up her slate, and cracked it over James' head. "How dare you!!"

"Vinnie Shirley!" her teacher cried out. He was a simpering fool of a man. "If you like the attention of the boys so much, you can just go sit with them!"

Everyone in class "ooooh!"ed at this horrible and humiliating punishment. Vinnie stood ram-rod stiff, grabbed her things, and sat in the only available seat on the boys' side: the seat right next to James. She refused to acknowledge him.

"I'm sorry, Vinnie." James whispered plaintively, his "sorry" coming out with a long "o" sound, "soory."


"I'm really, really soory!"

"I said, Hmph!"

James laid his hand on Vinnie's calico'd shoulder, his thumb working back and forth along a pattern of vines on her apron. "Please. Let me make it up to you."

Vinnie felt a wetness between her legs and a tickling in her tummy. "What's happening to me?" she thought.

James scooted closer to her, the entire length of his leg pressing against hers. His hand slid down her arm and he laced his fingers with hers, bringing their hands under the desk. "I said I'm soory. You're so much prettier than that awful Josie Pye girl. I bet you can kiss better than her, too."

Vinnie bit her lip and rubbed her thighs together.

Just then, the school bell rang and everyone poured out of the one-room schoolhouse, including their teacher. They were all alone.

James ran his hand up Vinnie thigh, rucking up her ankle-length dress, exposing her petticoats. "I bet you're the smartest girl in class."

"Um..." Vinnie bit her full, luscious lip.

James' hand slid under the hem of her dress, the backs of his fingers making slow circles higher and higher up her petticoated thigh. "I bet you're so smart that you know you shouldn't stop what's happening between us."

And Vinnie nodded. After all, she would win the Avery Prize in a few years. She stood, laid face down over the desk, grabbed the chair back in front of that, and let James pull up her skirt and pull down her petticoats. "Call me: The Lady of Shalott."

And then he loved her. In the butt.

James, keening like a banshee as he climaxed, cried out, "The curtains do match the drapes!"

And they were in love for ever and ever. The End.
Tags: funny fic, spike, stoney sucks, vk-connor fic

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