I will not read the Twilight books. Understand that. Well, maybe to mock them. (Um, I went to college with plenty of Stephanie Meyers types up in Utah and don't care to fall back into that Mormon woman 1950s bullshit.)
...is Edward gay? I mean, is the Mary Sue ultimately a "f*g hag" but TURNS HER GAY BFF INTO HER LOVAH? (Um, and also sounds a lot like many LDS girls who had effeminate husbands and never realized they married a gay man that was afraid to come out in that culture.)
Wow. My son wants to read them. *head desk* (And I would be perfectly fine if he was gay. I just don't want him to be stupid, that's all. Hahaha. Ahem.)
[ETA] WHAT? (from Cleolinda's summation) "Vampires tend to bring their strengths from life into The Beyond" THIS IS MORMON DOGMA. (You bring your personality into the next life. And have babies there, too. Just like vampires? WHUT.)
[ETA muthaeffin 2] OH MY GOD, there are Native American Indians who are the darkness to their whiteness?!?!?!?!?! GUYS. GUYS. You are shitting me. She is rewriting the Book of Mormon with love stories and supernatural attributes, HO LEE SHEEP DUNG. (Nephites = Vampires, Lamanites = Werewolves) Good hell.
[ETA frakkin 3] That's it. I'm reading them. The MSTKing (from an LDS perspective) will follow. Guys, she's fanficcing the Book of Mormon!! (Which is funny because the Book of Mormon is Bible fanfic, haha. so... this is a remix? We need new words to describe this!!!)