This was written to amuse my friends and myself. I am not claiming to be the Mormon Vampire Authority, even though let's face it: I am the leading Mormon Vampire Authority. (Nutshell: laugh, or turn back now. This was meant for joking and is filled with dirty words they can't use on TV.) Also, you'll note that this was written a few years ago, so I don't always reply back to people. Feel free to strike up convos with anyone, however.
I can be found on twitter here.
The Secrets of the Sparkle a.k.a. TWILIGHT: STONIFIED (For real this time.)
So here's the thing. I was going to be all 'whipping out the smart essay, pointing out all the subconscious LDS meta' that SMeyers jammed in these books, showing how I thought she didn't even realize what she was borrowing (because honestly, I just don't think she's smart enough to lay it out there, you know?) But here's the thing:
THE BOOKS ARE REALLY REALLY DUMB. Like, "Strategery" dumb. So I'm giving back at the same reading-comprehension level if you will. And you will. There's so much dumb, in fact, that it will take a few posts to get it all out there. Here's the first book and change.
( I wish I had a kryptonite cross so you could keep Dracula AND Superman away!Collapse )