• Mood: silly

And the funny just keeps on coming...

Ah, gentle readers, will the laughing never end? I hope not. My most favoritest writer in all the land has given me more. And can I say right now that I jumped up from my desk and pointed at the screen and cackled? Let that be fair warning, winterlive. kumi: this laugh is for you, hun. Feel better.

• "He blessed her with his cock." In nomine patre y sante y bonita pee pee.


• "Sex with Spike was indescibably intense, erotic, and dangerous. " It was also indescribably hot and lust-filled and sweaty. And indescribably smelly and soup-making and indescribably descriptive.


• "His cock was her own personal vibrator and she loved her vibrator." Don't you get a vibrator because you don't have a man? Or your man doesn't know what he is doing? Huh. Still trying to figure out all the vibrator reference when she is talking about Spike.


• "Buffy wondered if there was such a thing as too much sex. {no} She knew she had fucked Spike at least a hundred times. Not satisfied with that number she decided to do the math. They have been fucking for about three months. She visited him four times a week, excluding Friday, Saturday and Sunday, which was reserved for Riley, and they averaged three times a day. By her calculations, they have had sex 624 times, which convinced Buffy she was a nymphomaniac." Whew. I can't begin to tell you how wrong this is. Point 1: pick a fucking verb tense. Point 2: Buffy is a dumb slut. Wait! The author is. Obviously she failed word problems in school. I, however, did not. Lemme 'splain: 3x daily, 4 days a week is 3 x 4 = 12. For three months, averaged to 12 weeks: 12x a week by 12 weeks is 12 x 12 = 144. Granted, she is still needing to buy Gatorade_TM by the gross, but 624?? I have no idea how she got to that. Maybe if they were doing it 13x... 13 x 4 x 12 = 624. Okay. 13 times a day is serious nympho-zone. (Right into... the nympho-zone! You'll never watch TopGun in the same way...) AND MATH IS HAWT!!!


• "'Ride me Slaahhhh!' The way he said Slayer made Buffy hot." I swear to god, I cut and pasted that. Because drooling no-bottom-jaw having sex partners would get ANYONE hot. Is he being choked? The story IS called Strangled Passions...


• "His cock wept with need." EWWW. When is that EVER sexy? Oh, right. Never!


• "She...let the insides of her meaty lips work his dick." That makes me feel all girly and thin. And that my name is Al and I drive an 18 wheeler.


• "His hands felt like a silk scarf around her neck." Which was odd because the silk scarf around her neck felt like his hands...


• "She felt her orgasm approaching as her muscles snapped at his dick like a pissed off aligator."

AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!! I swear to god, you couldn't make this shit up. Pissed off aligator. Crikey! She's mad now! Idn't she byoo 'efull? GORGEOUS.