Laura Stone (stoney321) wrote,
Laura Stone
stoney321

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Hi, I'm Troy McClure! You may remember me from such educational films as:

"Lead Paint: Delicious, But Deadly" and "Dig Your Own Grave And Save!" So, I got an audition call for later today for an industry film, and I'm very excited to become a Troy McClure, if you will. And you will. Which means that I'm thinking of all the hilarious Troy McClure moments on the Simpsons, and that makes me happy.

Troy: Nothing beats a stroll in cattle country. Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such educational films as "Two Minus Three Equals Negative Fun" and "Firecrackers: The Silent Killer".
Jimmy: Mr. McClure?
Troy: Oh! Hello Bobby.
Jimmy: Jimmy. I'm curious as to how meat gets from the ranch to my stomach.
Troy: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow down Jimmy. You just asked a mouthful. It all starts here, in the high density feed lot. Then, when the cattle are just right [swipes his finger along the top of a cow and licks it] Yum...it's time for them to graduate from Bovine University.
A klaxon blares out a siren and the cattle begin moving up a conveyor belt into the meat packing plant.
Troy: Come on Jimmy, let's take a peek at the killing floor.
Jimmy: Ohhh!
Troy: Don't let the name throw you Jimmy. It's not really a floor, it's more of a steel grating that allows material to sluice through so it can be collected and exported.

Good times, good times. "I have a crazy friend who says its wrong to eat meat. Is he crazy?" "No, just ignorant! You see, your crazy friend never heard of the food chain." <-- if anyone has a clip of that moment with all the random animals eating each other, that needs to be an icon. I'm just saying.

I smirked through most of Palin's speech last night. Wow, if you believed everything she said, she's a real hero of the American People! Except for how she actually did the opposite of a lot of what she said, like taking the LARGEST CHUNK OF FEDERAL MONEY for her state in its HISTORY. Yeah, the "liberals" are really into raising taxes and spending. I believe that's some fib on your upper lip, ma'am. This drum beating all the GOP is doing about "getting the big spending liberals out of Washington" is CRACKING ME UP, esp. from Mitt "Your Money is MY Money!" Romney. Um, the Dems haven't spent any money because the GOP spent it all. And then some!

[eta] hahah, I just read a comment that claims that all Palin cares about is zygotes and invisible friends. That's a good one.

Whoooo. Okay, that'll just get me in a bad mood for the day, and I need to be perky and "polished" in a few hours. Twinklecrest will have to wait until tomorrow.

"Locker Room Towel Fights : The Blinding of Larry Driscoll!" Hahahaha. I <3 Troy.
Tags: movie magic, obama is my president, quoting tv is fun!
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