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Who dat is? (my baby daddy)

That song still cracks me up. Speaking of, I couldn't help it today on the treadmill and I was busting out "You know my name is Rock!" [Kid Rock] because that's my self-appointed theme song and "Dope Man" by NWA, and the guy next to me cracked up. He didn't fall off his treadmill, so it's a win all around. Plus there was a delicious iced coffee in my future (now present) so I declare this Tuesday a solid thumbs up so far.

I looked at my profile page today and got a bit of a shock. Um, hi folks! I seem to have picked up a bunch of new folks since the Sparkledammerung, which is cool. I haven't done one of these in a long time, so I figure it's time for a "who the heck is this Stoney chick, anyway?" type post, in case your finger is hovering over the defriend button. :D

  • Nickname is Stoney, based on my last name - my working name, that is - Laura Stone. Also because I'm a stone cold fox. Hahahaha. Oh, how wonderful we can be in our minds...

  • I'm 36, married, have three kids, three cats, and a dog. All are awesome, but all can drive me up the wall, too. My husband is a consultant, so he travels all over the world, and usually confines that to just during the week. Which means that I'm essentially a single mom during the week, but I've got it down to a science by now. I am strong like bull. [/Putin]

  • My husband is called Mr. Stoney or Mr. S here for his own sake of privacy. My oldest is The Boy, my oldest daughter is #2, and the leetlest schmusen of all is Emily. (The older two are now in middle school, so they get privacy from me.) The cats: our serial killer is Darthanne, black shorthair, the Ambassador is Hope Comma A New colon Episode Four, a Siamese mix, and the newest and largest is Master Bootsie "McLovin" Collins of the Funkadelic, a long-haired tuxedo. Our dog (dergie) is Sally Von Schtupp. She has black toe knerkles and is a lovely German Shepherd.

  • If you can't have ridiculous names for pets, when can you? My goal is to have a horse named Steve, who will be noble. And possibly grey.

  • I consider myself a writer before an actress, but I'm both. My goal is to sell my memoir on growing up Mormon (and leaving the church) soon. I want to be Augusten Burroughs with tits. Wait, he's not all that fit. You get my point, though. That would be sweet. I've written extensively on the subject of Mormonism and polygamy - don't roll your eyes, Mormons. If the LDS church didn't still support it, the D&C would have lost #132 and they would have changed the temple service. (Click the tags to find out what the hell I'm talking about. Or visit my book journal at 0hmyheck.)

  • All of my family, and it's huge, are devout Mormons, save two of my sisters. I try to be respectful in an open discussion on religion, but reserve the right to vent my spleen about the church I was raised in IN MY OWN JOURNAL. [I will tag a post to warn you ahead of time, if it's upsetting to you.] That means I will NOT come looking for someone in THEIR journal and pick a fight. That's just rude. I love talking religion, and welcome your thoughts, even if I disagree. If I *have* hurt your feelings, I'm a grownup and want to tell you that I'm sorry. Please let me know if I've offended you. and then I'll roll my eyes at you for being such a titty baby Ahahahaha. I'm kidding. Or am I?!?!

  • I'm generally hyper, happy, and goofy. I'm always going to go for the funny, first, and then maybe sock you with some knowledge. But probably I'll just make fun of myself, and then talk about food. I love food. Feel free to hit me with a recipe any time.

  • As for politics, I'm a leftie, meaning, I believe in helping people that can't help themselves. Obama has my vote. My husband knows him, and I can say this: he's exactly who you see on tv. I am going to bawl my eyes out when he wins. [positive thinking!] I tend to be moderate when it comes to economic policy, but again: if we can, we should help people who can't help themselves, starting with education and radiating out. Everyone should read Freakonomics.

  • I have fannish tendencies, but they've lessened over the years. I used to write a lot of fanfic, but have focused mostly on original writing lately. I believe fan fic helped me hone my writing, and after several years, I think I'm finally hitting my stride. *cough*self pimp for the best thing I've written yet*cough* I love me some fandom, though. All kinds.

  • I'm a big fan of slash, both male and female. I enjoy het, too, because I am. *G* I also love gen fic. It doesn't have to be all porn all the time. (But why not?! Ahaha.)

  • As you may have guessed from the Twinklecrest, I'm a huge fan of bad!fic. Not mediocre, meh fic, I'm talking BAD fic. I have a tag devoted to MSTKing bad!fic, if you need a belly laugh. And i'm not joking: IT IS BAD. "Cream of Cum" should let you know the level of bad. It's about laughing at WORDS, not people, which I don't condone. Unless it's someone like Dubya. You can make fun of him all you want here.

  • I'm Texan. If that doesn't tell you enough, I'll further that with: I love my state. LOVE. 8th generation Texan, part of my family is Choctaw Indian, so my blood's been here a looooong time. Don't Mess With Texas. I'm not joking.

  • Everything else is fair game, however.

  • I'm a fan of receiving concrit, either in the post or by LJ email. I never mind someone having a different opinion than me (unless you want to bash Texas - nuh uh), and welcome strangers to pop in and drop a comment when you like. I don't mind lurkers, either.

  • I do, however, record IPs for people who come to my journal. Nothing nefarious, I assure you, just to keep count of how often I get hit. (It's a good way to market yourself to an agent/publisher, you see.)

  • I'm a big fan of music, my father is a composer, conductor, and choir master, my sister is a virtuoso on the guitar and piano, and I love the Beastie Boys. So, you know: I like all kinds of music.

  • My son has Aspergers and ADHD. My youngest sister has severe autism. I keep myself educated on therapies and ideas for treatment, dealing with PDDs, etc. If you feel the urge to tell me that medicating my child is wrong, I will tell you to shove it up your ass. But I'll smile while I do it. :) For the record, a pill alone isn't the answer for anything. Unless it's valium. Sweet, sweet mother's helper. HAHAHA. I'm joking. or am I??

  • I joke a lot. I have a potty mouth. No, really. No, really. I do keep most bad language under a cut, because I understand that a lot of you read your LJs at work. I also put pictures under cuts, unless it's small (under 400x400) and is clean. I will never post a lascivious picture outside a cut, nor use an icon that is questionable for the main post. Except that one time I did.

  • Oh, re: that potty mouth. In my first movie, my character was identified at AFI as "The most offensive character ever on screen." Awesome! hahahaha. If you're interested in how movies are made, this post should give you an idea. Or this one.

  • I have real life friends and online friends on my flist. I change my flist on occasion, and no offense is meant if I take you off for a spell. You might be posting a lot about things I have no idea what you're talking about/interest in, etc. I do, however, read my "friends of" lists often - I just click on your journal and catch up. There's only so much time in a day, and I can't read everything in one sit-down session. You get it. And if not, well... *hands* It's not that I don't LIKE you, or something. I just hate your journal. AHAHAHAH. Kidding, kidding. or am I?!?

  • I never mind if you have to cut me from your flist, however. I get it, and I don't take it personally. No need to let me know, apologize, etc. Come, go, whichever.

  • I mean, I have a sister that's not on my flist, for Pete's sake. She's moderately loony, though. Well, a lot loony. The other one is awesome. You may know her as dooki or by her fandom journal, dampersnspoons She's awesome and one of my best friends.

  • I love hearing from new people, so feel free to comment.

  • Please note, however, that I DO NOT PUT PERSONAL INFO ONLINE. That includes my actual name (not my working name,) my hometown, my kids' names, my husband's name, and I never EVER talk about my "personal" life with my husband. I've cut people (with KNIVES) from my flist for doing that. PLEASE respect that, and I'll respect any like rules that you have for your own personal space. I have actual safety issues involved here, so I can't stress that enough.

  • I love tequila. But not in an "I live under the overpass and collect tin foil for a living" way. Give me through the end of this year, and if I don't sell this book, I may change that. :D I'm also a big fan of wine. And fajita nachos. Those will get steady references here because they are delicious and good for me.

  • I'm sarcastic, ridiculous, generous, loyal, funny, goofy, and full of piss and vinegar. I welcome like people! If you cuss like a sailor, love like you're desperately lonely, and dance like you need the money, you are my new best friend.

And now that I'm no longer shaky from the gym, I need to eat. Holy crap, 5 sets of 10 on each of these today: pull ups, both grips, and dips. Not to mention bench press and push ups. My goal of being Linda Hamilton in T2 is getting ever closer....


( 34 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 9th, 2008 04:54 pm (UTC)
I'm sarcastic, ridiculous, generous, loyal, funny, goofy, and full of piss and vinegar. I welcome like people! If you cuss like a sailor, love like you're lonely, and dance like you need the money, you are my new best friend.

YAY! A new BFF. I've been looking for one to ad to my collection...
Sep. 9th, 2008 04:55 pm (UTC)
em. I mean add...

... - stoney321 - Sep. 9th, 2008 05:26 pm (UTC) - Expand
Sep. 9th, 2008 05:04 pm (UTC)
I know this post is all about you, but Dampersnspoons is your sister? I am all about the loving her fic these days!
Sep. 9th, 2008 05:26 pm (UTC)
Yay! She sure is - she's a lot of fun, huh? How cool that you like her writing. *beams with sisterly pride*
(Deleted comment)
Sep. 9th, 2008 05:30 pm (UTC)
I approve of Jonah's indoctrination in the old ways of the Jedi. (They weren't the re-re-releases, were they?) And for his first movie to be the best in the franchise, WELL DONE, MADAM.

Hahahaha, am I going to have to do my Chasing Amy impression for you again? Oooh, another one I've almost got nailed down is James Spader. I've decided that if I bork an audition, I'm going to force my way back in and deliver it as James Spader from Pretty in Pink. HAHAHA.

Mmmmmm, beans and biscuits? What are you trying to do, kill me? WHY DON'T WE HAVE A FWOOMP TUBE!! (Last night I made a kick ass stir fry with long beans - they're like green beans, but here's the kicker: they're LONGER - and skrimps. Girl, so good you wanna slap ya mama.) I could use a plate o'Sue cookin, I won't lie.

Sorry about last night - I must have left my cell phone somewhere I couldn't hear it. I suck. (If you're lucky. BA DUM BUM CHING!)
Sep. 9th, 2008 05:16 pm (UTC)
Linda Hamilton scared the sh*t outta me in T2.

I'm sarcastic, ridiculous, generous, loyal, funny, goofy, and full of piss and vinegar. I welcome like people! If you cuss like a sailor, love like you're lonely, and dance like you need the money, you are my new best friend.
We need to hang out again.
Sep. 9th, 2008 05:31 pm (UTC)
Because of her ability to do pull ups off her bed frame? Dude. So fucking awesome. I don't want to hit Madonna-arm proportions, those are scary. But Linda was bad ass.

HEEEE. Yeah, we do! I need to come into Dallas later this month - I'll throw some dates at you and see if we can't meet downtown for lunch, or something.
... - bu_doodlebug - Sep. 9th, 2008 06:15 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Sep. 9th, 2008 06:27 pm (UTC) - Expand
Sep. 9th, 2008 05:17 pm (UTC)
Okay, you know how I stalk you semi-professionally? Only not in a creepy way?

You may remember me from some recent stalkings... But perhaps not.

Anyhoo, every time I think about quitting my staking, you surprise me. Freakanomics??? I LOVE that book! My husband and I named our daughter Waverly, which we learned from one of the baby name lists. :D

*goes back to stalking quietly*
Sep. 9th, 2008 05:33 pm (UTC)
HEY THERE! Ahahahaha at your Troy McClure line. :D

Freakonomics is such an amazing book, especially as it will educate the most fearful of numbers/math in an entertaining way. If you've not read The World Is Flat, then add that to your list, too.

I Looooooooove the name Waverly. Gorgeous name.
... - abusing_sarcasm - Sep. 9th, 2008 05:45 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Sep. 9th, 2008 05:51 pm (UTC) - Expand
Sep. 9th, 2008 05:33 pm (UTC)
Hey. I bow down to the awesomeness that is you. *bows*
Sep. 9th, 2008 05:39 pm (UTC)
And that means you get a payraise. *sends monthly check* Hahaha. You're pretty kick ass in your own right, yo!
... - kseenaa - Sep. 9th, 2008 05:40 pm (UTC) - Expand
Sep. 9th, 2008 05:40 pm (UTC)
I just love the fact that you and I are about the same age, both married (although not to each other of course) and with kids (again our own and not each others) and yet we still listen to NWA and Beastie Boys and the like! AND ARE PROUD OF IT!

Other than that, I giggled my way through your post as I usually do.
Sep. 9th, 2008 05:42 pm (UTC)
That's because we are awesome enough to know good music when we hear it!

*pop locks*
*dislocates spine*

My agita.... ;)
Sep. 9th, 2008 05:46 pm (UTC)
I busted out with the final line from "Tied to the Whipping Post" while *teaching* spin Saturday morning. Not just mouthing the words or whispering them a little, I wailed them out.

I'd say I was so embarrassed, except for the fact that I totally wasn't.

Sep. 9th, 2008 05:53 pm (UTC)
HAHAHAHA. I would have totally started singing with you, btw. When "Enter the Sandman" comes on my player, i can't help it. I crank the speed up on the machine and rock the fuck out. It's impossible to not!

B, I got in the shower and could barely raise my arms to scrub my hair. I was all --O-- instead of \o/

I'm like John McCain! (oooooooooh.) <3 <3
Sep. 9th, 2008 05:48 pm (UTC)
Thank you for mentioning food. It reminded me of the pot of alfredo I nearly burned while checking my flist. :)
Sep. 9th, 2008 05:53 pm (UTC)
WHOOOOOOOOPS!! Also: mmmmmm, Alfredo.
... - domenowtrent - Sep. 9th, 2008 06:14 pm (UTC) - Expand
Sep. 9th, 2008 07:21 pm (UTC)
I am pretty sure I found you as witty respondent on crevette's journal. Generally speaking, you bring the lulz.
Sep. 9th, 2008 07:53 pm (UTC)

Glad to hear I'm not driving every nuts around here. I'd bring the cake, but I haven't mastered Wonka-Vision for computers yet.
Sep. 10th, 2008 12:00 am (UTC)
You! Are great! *waves flag*

I didn't know she had that 2nd journal, so I have gone and added it, hurrah. I am dead from work but Stoney! I am still doing the working out! I have leg muscles, it's sort of awesome.

Anyway, I love these sorts of posts even when I know the stuff already, mostly. PS, I have no fucking clue what Twilight is but nearly died of your posts, they were so funny. Is it just books or is there a TV series?
Sep. 10th, 2008 12:25 am (UTC)
<-- Cedric!!!!
You are great too! Yay for you still with the work out! I'm sure you'll be flexing fabulous muscles all over in no time.

Oh, Twilight is a book series that is being turned into movies. Or movie, who knows. CEDRIC DIGGORY is playing Edward, the sparkly vampire, and he's wonderful because he's making fun of it in the press, yet still cashing his cheques. CEDRIC. (He is beautiful, so of course I'll go see the movies. Also so I can laugh.)
Sep. 10th, 2008 02:42 am (UTC)
Check this: tonight I met with my Bible study group to choose a new study for this fall. Guess who showed up at the Baptist-centric bookstore more than tipsy on wine?!? JESUS DRANK WINE TOO, HATERS.

Also, I owe you a phone call, like, ridiculously so. (I was at the Auburn game--I don't know, I think I was stoned when I agreed to go--when you called. And I just fail at life in general.) Plz not to be hating my horrible-ass, awful-friendness of late. I do realize how much I suck. <---As does Joe, my next door neighbor.

ILU STONEY. Piss and vinegar and all. (My favorite thing about you. Well, that and your boobs.)
Sep. 10th, 2008 11:43 am (UTC)

I was going to send you an email today asking if I'd done something to piss you off!! I'm so glad you're not a hat0rz, Lee. I'm glad FOR YOU. Uh... YOU GET ON THE PHONE AND CALL ME MISSY.

they're having fried bacon at the State Fair this year! Starts the 26th thru third weekend of October
Sep. 11th, 2008 03:03 am (UTC)
I'm here loving your crazy funny posts because dampersnspoons is my hero and she posted the links to your Twilight posts and then I couldn't stop laughing. And reading.

Oh and food. I love food. And I just read your post about the balls and the comments about lamingtons. *shudders* they're hugely famous here, in New Zealand too and OH MY FUCKING GOD I want to go home, where they have *real* food. And cheese.
Sep. 11th, 2008 11:41 am (UTC)
But you can get lamb in New Zealand! Or is it that you can marry a lamb there? ;) I'm going on an eating vacation with my buddy from Auckland next week - I'll make sure she gets lots of cheese and NO lamingtons. :D
... - dragonflylady77 - Sep. 12th, 2008 02:56 am (UTC) - Expand
( 34 comments — Leave a comment )


Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

Time Wot It Is

April 2017
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