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Yeah, you read that right. This just hit me this morning, so while I drank my coffee and turned MSNBC to a dull roar, this came out. (I'm leaving early in the morning for NYC, so I won't be around until Monday. Have a good weekend, everyone!)

Title: Northern Lights.
Who?: Sarah/Edward, General Audiences
Huh?: What if Edward had tried love before Bella?
What?: A series of letters from Edward to the woman who holds his esteem and ardor.

To Sarah, my beloved, dulcet darling...Collapse )

Comments

( 191 comments — Leave a comment )
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marenfic
Sep. 22nd, 2008 02:23 pm (UTC)
You complete me.

Hahahaha! Edward is such a priss. You know he's one of those freaky schoolgirl cosplayers on the down-low.

the song recorded on the tape is “Heart and Soul” and Edward is softly crooning "boom de yadda boom de yadda" in the background]

HEE! Yes, this.
stoney321
Sep. 22nd, 2008 02:55 pm (UTC)
HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Man, I love this shit. LOVE IT. It's so craptastic, M. (If you need a howl, click the SPARKLE! tag and you'll get all my summaries of the books, if you're interested.)

I ALSO LOVE YOU. In case you forgot.
nwhepcat
Sep. 26th, 2008 08:08 pm (UTC)
Oh, Stoney. I heart you so bad.

I'd say that I laughed so hard my cat was startled, but actually he's used to me honking out loud in a quiet house.
stoney321
Sep. 26th, 2008 08:28 pm (UTC)
*clappy hands!*

It sounds like we have similar cats. :D They just blink in irritation at me when I start in with the horsey laughter...

I'm pleased as punch that you laughed at this!
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... - stoney321 - Sep. 26th, 2008 09:03 pm (UTC) - Expand
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gwynnega
Sep. 26th, 2008 11:56 pm (UTC)
Oh god. Heeeeee!
stoney321
Sep. 27th, 2008 12:05 am (UTC)
Hahahahaha.

I swear to god, if I hear her call herself a TwiMom, I may explode from the crazy.
wisteria_
Sep. 27th, 2008 06:32 pm (UTC)
Oh, wow. This is ... wow. I'm duly impressed.

(Though, alas, I'd originally read the "Heart and Soul" line as referring to that '80s song by T'Pau. Now it'll be going through my head all day. Yikes!)
stoney321
Sep. 27th, 2008 11:55 pm (UTC)
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I've not heard that band in YEEEEAAARS. Oh, man, I am SO SORRY for that unfortunate ear worm!

*croons 'boom de yadda boom de yadda' a la Edward to make it go away*
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Sep. 27th, 2008 11:54 pm (UTC)
My most favorite reaction to anything ever! *is well pleased*
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Sep. 27th, 2008 11:53 pm (UTC)
So are you!

Thanks for laughing - that's all I want!
dollsome
Sep. 27th, 2008 09:25 pm (UTC)
Ohhhh my God. I don't even have any words. Besides AWESOME.

The notion that the Cullens are, somehow, behind Sarah Palin's VP nomination makes so much sense out of this cold, cruel world.

EdCull! EMMETT! I'm so freakin' delighted at this moment.
stoney321
Sep. 27th, 2008 11:53 pm (UTC)
It's just...

Nothing makes sense anymore. So, why the hell not? :D

(And don't you just know that Palin's a closeted TwiMom?)
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Sep. 27th, 2008 11:52 pm (UTC)
ditto on your icon! <3 Tina Fey...

(I mean, can anyone else come up with a better explanation for the wackines?!?! haha)
marketchippie
Sep. 27th, 2008 10:11 pm (UTC)
Good God.

This is...stunning. My head just exploded, but you know what? That's okay. It was worth it.
stoney321
Sep. 27th, 2008 11:51 pm (UTC)
I've got duct tape and Elmer's glue, I bet we can put your head back!

I'm glad you came by, but gee, Ricky, I'm sorry your mom blew up I'm sorry your head had to explode from it. :D
azephirin
Sep. 27th, 2008 10:25 pm (UTC)
AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh my God, this is the crackiest and most hilarious crossover ever. You win at life, politics, and the internetz.
stoney321
Sep. 27th, 2008 11:50 pm (UTC)
*puts on crown, stomps around importantly*

I'm so glad you laughed, thanks!
rhipowered
Sep. 27th, 2008 10:28 pm (UTC)
This. Oh yes, this.

But especially this: L’air de Temps? But not that day.
For which you get lots and lots of love from an SotL fan.
stoney321
Sep. 27th, 2008 11:49 pm (UTC)
You just know that Edward, with his perfect marble skin, would be bothered by winter-dry skin. Which means, of course, he'd say "It puts the lotion on its skin."

Hahahaha. I, um, have an unhealthy love for that movie.
minttown1
Sep. 27th, 2008 11:12 pm (UTC)
This is excellent.
stoney321
Sep. 27th, 2008 11:49 pm (UTC)
Why, thank you!
lalumena
Sep. 27th, 2008 11:51 pm (UTC)
Oh, this was hilarious. I particularly liked the loving grammar correcting and Emmet's simian vulgarities. Shock, horror etc. ;

And, of course, the boom-de-yadas. I love this rather a lot.
stoney321
Sep. 27th, 2008 11:56 pm (UTC)
Hahaha, I'm glad to hear the grammar correcting works. Er, those are two little pet peeves of mine.

I'm so glad you enjoyed it, thanks!
tigger_01
Sep. 28th, 2008 01:45 am (UTC)
I don't know whether to feel ill or to burst into spontaneous laughter. I think I might do a combination of the two and see how it goes?
lalumena recommended I come over, and I see it was well worth it.

I still can't stop staring at the pairing for this fic. Brilliant. :P
stoney321
Sep. 28th, 2008 01:51 pm (UTC)
It's just the only way I can make sense of her and her nomination!

:D (And my suggestion is to burst into spontaneous laughter - easier on your tum. *g*)
wicked_charie
Sep. 28th, 2008 11:35 pm (UTC)
Totally awesome!! Can we expect Edward to come out and do a little campaigning for his beloved?? The youth vote is so important right now and just a simple word from the Sparkly One would do so much. Tell me - did Edward know Senator Mc Cain at all? After all they are almost the same age
stoney321
Sep. 29th, 2008 01:10 am (UTC)
I'm glad I got you to laugh! I'm totally convinced that Sarah Palin is a TwiMom. It would explain so much...
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( 191 comments — Leave a comment )

Tags

Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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