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Yeah, you read that right. This just hit me this morning, so while I drank my coffee and turned MSNBC to a dull roar, this came out. (I'm leaving early in the morning for NYC, so I won't be around until Monday. Have a good weekend, everyone!)

Title: Northern Lights.
Who?: Sarah/Edward, General Audiences
Huh?: What if Edward had tried love before Bella?
What?: A series of letters from Edward to the woman who holds his esteem and ardor.

To Sarah, my beloved, dulcet darling...Collapse )

Comments

( 191 comments — Leave a comment )
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incaseineedyou
Feb. 3rd, 2009 10:26 am (UTC)
This is honestly the funniest thing I have read in... forever. Oh my god, thank you so much for sharing.
stoney321
Feb. 3rd, 2009 01:18 pm (UTC)
YAY! I'm glad to know this is still funny, thank you for reading!
virginiadare
Mar. 25th, 2009 10:08 pm (UTC)
I found you from a link on an Amazon discussion board. This is so funny!!! I hope you don't mind if I friend you. I love your writing! My faves, the seal/caribou boots, the emmett post script, the grammar tips, well, the whole thing. Thanks for sharing!
stoney321
Mar. 25th, 2009 10:19 pm (UTC)
!! Whoa, that's a random place for a rec!

Thanks so much for reading, I'm happy to know you laughed, yay!
(Anonymous)
Apr. 21st, 2009 03:37 pm (UTC)
Midnight sun prequel!
Stephenie Meyer has a few things to learn from you! This should so be in Midnight Sun (it would make it UNDOUBTEDLY better), your hilariousness is ftw :D
I laughed SOOO hard at the "she looks like she‘s just sucked a lemon." She would look like a lemon-sucker compared to Sarah Palin.

Whoever came up with the infantilization definition, you should buy twilight from Stephenie whatsherface and rewrite it :) Could you somehow make Jacob a transvestite in the process? And Edward less of a psycho stalker? Thanks a bunch :)

Sparkle on, erm.. Oh Sparkly one. Let the Sparkle be with you.
stoney321
Apr. 21st, 2009 04:07 pm (UTC)
Re: Midnight sun prequel!
'm glad you enjoyed it, thank you very much! :D
herlovewasajoke
Jun. 1st, 2009 02:28 pm (UTC)
Just to let you know, be prepared for an influx of anonymous trolls. Cracked.com linked to this from their twitter account.
stoney321
Jun. 1st, 2009 05:04 pm (UTC)
Oy, I was wondering where all the traffic was coming from, thanks for the head's up.
electricalgwen
Jun. 16th, 2009 12:27 am (UTC)
On the plus side, it meant a friend of mine found it, laughed her ass off, and sent me here. Awesome. *g*
stoney321
Jun. 16th, 2009 01:09 am (UTC)
hopefully there's no negative side! :D

SO happy to hear you laughed, thank you!
... - electricalgwen - Jun. 16th, 2009 01:13 am (UTC) - Expand
pr_scatterbrain
Nov. 22nd, 2009 05:32 am (UTC)
Amazing...
stoney321
Nov. 22nd, 2009 01:49 pm (UTC)
Thank you!
fleshandfantasy
Nov. 24th, 2009 06:31 am (UTC)
You. Win.
stoney321
Nov. 24th, 2009 02:00 pm (UTC)
I hope it's a tiara and a coupon book!!

Haha, glad you enjoyed, thank you for reading!
northernwalker
Dec. 22nd, 2009 06:12 pm (UTC)
I just found this and am relieved to know that there might be a reason Palin got as far as she did. I would prefer to believe it's due to sparkly vampires than human stupidity.

I'm an optimist.



stoney321
Dec. 23rd, 2009 01:40 am (UTC)
Hahaha, glad you're with me on this one! :D
captain_emily
Apr. 22nd, 2010 04:07 am (UTC)
Oh dear Lord, this was classic! I loathe both Twilight and Sarah Palin, but I'm a sucker for some good crack fic. I am so glad I gave this a chance. I haven't had a fic make me laugh like this in months.

Though the "boom de yada" had me rolling, Emmett was definitely my favorite thing about this fic. Kudos on an awesome story!
stoney321
Apr. 22nd, 2010 12:03 pm (UTC)
Oh, how cool to get a comment on this! Thank you very much, I'm glad to know you liked it.
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( 191 comments — Leave a comment )

Tags

Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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