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Are they kidding? A half-hour long dick joke? Don't get me wrong, I can appreciate a finely crafted dick joke (that's what she said) but this was just weird, lazy, and weird.

And I CAN'T be the only one that wants to take every one of those damn vampires and give them a good, hot scrubbing with soap followed by a shave. What's with all the stubble? EVERY man in that episode had facial hair, and I'm sorry, but you won't see that much facial hair outside a bear/cub bar. My assumption is that Alan Ball is a bear, or a cub looking for one.

The episodes just end abruptly, but they aren't proper cliffhangers, it's just like the show turns off. Whiiiiiiiich is why we keep turning it on every week. It's not that we're emotionally invested (or at least, that's how it is for me) it's just that someone shut off the power switch and I'm left wondering, "What the hell?"

Hey, guess who employed that technique to her favor? Stephanie Meyers. Way to go, Ball.

Also, having read the first few books (they are complete cotton candy for the brain, but not in an offensive way. I'll put it this way: I can knock one out while I'm waiting for my son to train for cross country, and I'm not jolted back to earth if someone taps on the window. They're not engrossing, they just pass the time in a pleasant way)

Uh, tangent. Having read the first few books, I can say that I have NO IDEA what they are doing to the characters. Tara? Doesn't even appear until late in the second book, and that's just randomly. Sam? Doesn't roll around sniffing sheets like a crazy person. WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?! Creepy. Also, I don't think Mr. Ball understands what a Southern Gothic really is.

And I'm STILL BOTHERED by Anna Paquin. Sticking your butt out and your tits isn't acting, sweetheart. And pick an accent and stick with it. At this point, I wouldn't care which Delta region you pick, just stick with one. It would be nice if all the townspeople had the same accent, too, but at this point, that's just asking too much. (Um, here's a hint. In Louisiana? There's a lot of French. Chere, etc. Rene has that down, but no one else does.)

The opener where she screams, then half-asses whines for help? A person that screams bloody murder isn't going to just turn around and ho hum a help. BAH. If this is her actual skill set, then I'm disappointed. My guess is this is the director telling her how to act. Oh, and I read that (of course) she and the actor playing Bill are dating "in real life!" They must be the most boring, un-chemistried couple in history, then.

I think I know what it is that makes this not work. Aside from the creators/writers/director/editor not knowing what genre to stick this in, what the tone is, it's like they have NOT ONE person that actually knows and likes the south on this project. You can't understand this if you're not from here, but we get a lot of shit about being dumb shits because we talk slow and are polite. Because what horrible attributes for a person to have, right? Legible speech and kindness? *eyeroll* and this show is like they're just making fun of the dumb hicks out at the Piggly Wiggly instead of laughing WITH folks that know there's more out there, but dammit, they just like getting their hair did at the Beauty Box and chatting it up with Norma and the girls about blah blah blah. It's just a long series of "look at these dumb asses!" and then random sex scenes with forced intrigue.

They have one more week, and then I'm out. What a hot mess that show is.

Am I the only one that's both rolling their eyes AND grossed out by Brundle Fly? (A.k.a. Suresh?) If he goes into a honky tonk and tries to arm wrestle someone, I'm out.

And this show continues to be the most incestuous show on TV. WOW do all the family members wanna bone each other, or what?? This one may be dead for me, I don't know. It's just... too laborious to keep up with, I'm thinking. I'll give it a few more eps.

Tonight, though, is the return of Chuck! Guys, that show is terrific. Funny, kinda sexy but in a way you can watch with your Nana, smart, and did I mention funny? I have a nerd crush on Chuck, I won't lie. And I'm almost all caught up on It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, which may be one of my most favorite comedies OF ALL TIME. God, is that a funny and irreverent show. I <3 it. I need to catch up on Mad Men, too. There's just only so much time in the day, and I can't spend it sitting on my butt, I just can't.

Speaking of, I need to find the willpower to do a 10 mile walk today, and given how sore I am from yesterday's... I may lay on my back and read. *wince* (For those wondering why on earth I'd do such a thing, I'm raising money for breast cancer treatment by walking 60 miles in one weekend. Feel free to leave my team a donation! Here's what it's all about.)

....okay, lacing up my shoes any time now. Aaaaaaaaany time now. I did it. And now I may not move for the rest of the day. So tired, you guys... (B: I'm getting all those songs uploaded for you today. It's coming....)



( 54 comments — Leave a comment )
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Sep. 29th, 2008 04:59 pm (UTC)
Heartily seconding your "Chuck" recommendation- funny, snarky, and real early Get Smart/Man from Uncle type spy action.

And the Nerd Herd, omigawd, it's like when all my husband's friends show up at once, including the guy who's memorized the whole damned Freddie Blasi collection.

Julia, wishing I was making that last part up.
Sep. 29th, 2008 05:02 pm (UTC)
We love the Nerd Herd! (My girls both want to work for the Geek Squad when they grow up, and #2 went as an employee last year for Halloween.)

*G* It's just a fun show, all around.
Sep. 29th, 2008 05:00 pm (UTC)
Because I loved S1 of Heroes so much, and because I liked one thing about S2 (although that is no longer there), I am giving it two more episodes (since last week was two episodes).

Four episodes in, if I'm still thinking, "Wow, that wasted time," then that's it. I'm done.
Sep. 29th, 2008 05:02 pm (UTC)
I'm right there with you, sugar. I just don't know if it can keep my interest. And I really REALLY liked S1! S2 was a hot mess.
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Sep. 29th, 2008 05:05 pm (UTC)
Yeah, you hit the nail on the point w/ that commentary on TB. That's how I feel in general about almost all media about the South. It's such a train wreck. Look, it's YOUR OWN COUNTRY not even a show about Indian or something, how hard is this?
Sep. 29th, 2008 05:12 pm (UTC)
The thing is, in the books (which again: pure crack, but pleasant crack, not that shit laced with baby powder that tears up your sinuses and throat.... not that I know this. Ahem) it's very tongue in cheek with the WTness of the characters, but you LIKE them. you know they're doing the best they can with what they have and they are LIKABLE.

There's no one likable on the whole show. you can't have a cast of dipshits, Mr. Ball.

(Oh, and there's also that whole thing about there being no layers or metaphor. There's not even a metathree. Har de har har.)
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Sep. 29th, 2008 05:16 pm (UTC)
I still enjoy True Blood but you are so right about all of it. Was Sam rolling around in the smell of death like Maddy does when she kills some small animal in the yard (she rubs herself all over the dead animal to get that smell in good)? Because that is just as disturbing as any of the alternatives. The other thing you didn't mention was that it is not at all believable that no one really seemed upset by Dawn's death. It is a small town in the South! I mean, sure, there will be gossip but first people would cry and cry and go to church.

I am with you on Heroes. One more episode, and then I think I'm done. I actually graded exams while watching it on DVR this weekend and was more interested in the exams than the show. NOT GOOD.

In conclusion, CHUCK!
Sep. 29th, 2008 05:21 pm (UTC)
(I'm sending Lee the books the show is based on - I'll shoot them to you, too.)

Hahaha, they WOULD cry and go to church! If only to go and see who DIDN'T go. :D

Oooh, grading more interesting than a show? That's a sign, and not in their favor. but CHUCK!!! I'm super excited for that to come on, YAY.

Sep. 29th, 2008 05:17 pm (UTC)
Chuck is back! Yay! I'm really looking forward to the show tonight. The Nerd Herd!
Heroes has just about lost me..I missed the season opener 'cause I was in England, and couldn't get interested enough to tape it on Saturday when it was repeated. Sadly, I think the writers are just too confused by the huge cast to make it work.
I got hooked by the first couple of episodes of Life on Mars when I was in England. I see they're doing an American version..but I'm going for the British original if I can find it.
Sep. 29th, 2008 05:23 pm (UTC)
The big cast is DEFINITELY a problem. Too much to pay attention to and keep up with. And not enough interest in each of them to justify the cast, imo.

I've heard so many good things about Life on Mars - the original UK version. I've not seen it, but I have hopes the US version will be worthy. If not, I'll go to the UK version. Thanks for the reminder that it's coming on!
Sep. 29th, 2008 05:24 pm (UTC)
10 miles! Go you. We spent all weekend on our feet for ACL Fest, walking three or four miles to the car and back, and I'm really not looking forward to my regular 5 mile a day walk *stares disconsolately at walking shoes* Yeah, they're getting laced up any minute now...

Hee! "Chuck" is so much fun. I even like sexy spy Sarah, which is usually a hard sell role. Adam Baldwin is hysterical, too.

I was completely icked by Suresh, and that sex scene made me cringe with the lack of chemistry between those two. I disliked the Maya subplot last season, mainly due to her wooden performance.
Sep. 29th, 2008 05:30 pm (UTC)
Next week I move up to 12 miles 4 times a week... There are many, many massages in my future, I tell you what...

ADAM BALDWIN. I love him. He's one of the big reasons I like the show, Chuck aside. And right there with you on Sarah - she's not just wooden pretty girl, stuck in the role.

MAYA. There's your wooden pretty girl. And ditto on that sex scene seeming forced. Bleh. (My husband and I were waiting for him to start puking on his food and growing wings.)

Go for that walk! It's a beautiful day! (I think?)
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Sep. 29th, 2008 05:31 pm (UTC)
**CONTAINS HEROES SPOILERS** (But I'll be deliberately vague, just in case.)

I'm totally with you on Heroes... I liked the character of Suresh so much (because I'm a science geek) and now he's just RUINED. He's not supposed to be a superhero!!!

Did Batman let Alfred the butler wear the utility belt for funsies???? No, I think not. *sigh*

Also the whole "Luke, I am your father mother" thing??? Um. Okay. And is it just me, or did her power just come out of nowhere? I thought they were keeping it all secret and mysterious for some important reason and then they just dropped it into the ep like, "Ooops! We forgot to mention this before! Future, dreams, etc. We probably should have told you by now! Our bad!" Groan.

And is she supposed to be evil now? Because that just doesn't jive.

This whole show is giving me the same feeling as Lost. It's like the writers completely lost track of where they were going so they're just making shit up. On Lost, it was endless flashbacks to the past. On Heroes, it's endless flash-forwards to different realities.

Next week on Heroes: Peter Patrelli accidentally travels to the World Without Shrimp! And then Suresh beats him to death! Must see TV!

*eye roll*

And sorry to unload, but no one else on my flist is complaining about this show, so I had to get in while the venting was good. Have fun walking! :D
Sep. 29th, 2008 05:34 pm (UTC)
I know!! I liked Suresh, too, and now he's ick, and not in the fascinating anti-hero way.

I forgot about the Mom's power-drop in the convo. What the hell? Random.

Girl, you go to town on dumping on Heroes over here. We all need our release! Hahahaha.

(And done walking, like, for ever. hahaha. My feet are practically smoking today... *fans them*)
Sep. 29th, 2008 05:42 pm (UTC)
The only redeeming factor about S2 of Heroes was Matt and Mohinder playing Daddy to Molly and now they've taken it away!! *sobs* Sylar just needs to die already. But I'm a sucker and it's like crack, so I'll probably keep watching, if only to get my weekly Greg Grunberg/Jack Coleman fix.

CHUCK!!! I am a hearty support of the little show that could! I watched the premiere on Hulu.com last week, and will be watching again this week, I don't think you'll be disappointed! And OMG, I'm such a Chuck/Casey fangirl (see icon) and the premiere gives us plenty of slashy goodness. Plus Captain Awesome, is AWESOMESAUCE (which my husband, upon hearing me say that word, asked was a BBQ sauce the Captain sold, lol).
Sep. 29th, 2008 06:01 pm (UTC)
Gay Daddies! They don't have gay daddies this season, what up with that?

I need to re-watch the last ep on Hulu, thanks for reminding me! Captain Awesome. How great is that name?? LOL!
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Sep. 29th, 2008 05:51 pm (UTC)
am looking forward to Chuck. However, I am unsure if my DVR can record three shows at once. If it can't Chuck goes on the torrenting back burner. Haven't watched True Blood yet, [see torrenting] but I think I enjoy it more than most people and the sad thing is I don't even know WHY I'm enjoying it.

The vampire is unsexy.
The accents are bad
I like grandma
Brother's body's hot but otherwise I'd like to kill him

got nothing else.
Sep. 29th, 2008 05:51 pm (UTC)
Sweet on the tunes!
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Sep. 29th, 2008 05:53 pm (UTC)
I skipped over your Heroes write-up because I haven't watched the premiere yet, but after reading some of the comments, I'm wondering if I should bother. Like you, I enjoyed S1 and found S2 to be a huge disappointment. From the sounds of it, they haven't improved upon it. It was never so good as to inspire the level of loyalty that would keep me watching through the lean seasons, and there's so much good TV out there to watch instead.

I'm very excited for Chuck tonight. I was surprised last year by how much I loved the show, despite the implausibility of the plot. It's the characters that get you and their brilliant chemistry together.

I need to find me a good Chuck icon.
Sep. 29th, 2008 05:57 pm (UTC)
Eh, i'ma believer in giving something I *used* to like a few tries to hook me back, so Heroes has another two eps before I give up, or stick with it. I don't know if that helps any...

Ditto on everything about chuck. It's silly, the premise, but dammit if they don't make it work! I need a Chuck icon and a Pushing Daisies icon, too...
Sep. 29th, 2008 06:00 pm (UTC)
Everyone is a Petrelli and/or fucking a Petrelli and/or about to fuck a Petrelli. That has become the plot of the show. I'm not amused. And I cannot believe Suresh injected himself. I can't buy that he would be so incautious.

I do, however, find the notion of Noah Bennett and Sylar teaming up to be incredibly amusing. We shall see how I feel when I actually see it in action.
Sep. 29th, 2008 06:03 pm (UTC)
You're exactly right re: Petrelli. Eh. NOT. INTERESTED. Also? Creepy. (And you know me and incest! Hahahaha.) I'm right there with you re: Suresh, too. The man is a SCIENTIST.

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Sep. 29th, 2008 06:12 pm (UTC)
I know nothing of True Blood or Heroes, but I'm so proud of your anti boob-cancer walking!! *massages your back*
Sep. 29th, 2008 06:18 pm (UTC)
Thank you! Ooooooh, that's just right. *sags against you*
(Deleted comment)
Sep. 29th, 2008 09:46 pm (UTC)
Is that right? (About the dialect coach) Well, that just tells you something, right there. Rene sounds just like the Bayou boys I know, so he def. is doing something right. And that's one of the hardest to do!
Sep. 29th, 2008 08:13 pm (UTC)
Damn,Babe I think you stole my brain.

I haven't read the books that True Blood is based on.It looks like I'll have to do it.

The vampires are really annoying. I had high hopes. I liked the premise of the show.
The vamp bar was just silly. I don't know if Vamp Eric is supposed to be the "Spike" of True Blood. (I really hope not)

Sam? Doesn't roll around sniffing sheets like a crazy person. WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?! Creepy.
I Know! I got all confused.

And don't get me started on all the unnecessary sex scenes.
Praise Jebus!
I need a decent Vamp show. Where is Joss when you need him?
Sep. 29th, 2008 09:45 pm (UTC)
Sam rolling around in ecstasy... Just creepy and bizarre. (And since I've read the book, I know why he's doing it, and that makes it weirder to me that they chose to have the character do that.)

Can you believe we'd ever say there are enough sex scenes?! That says something, right there.
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Sep. 29th, 2008 09:07 pm (UTC)
Hmm...I'm only up to Episode 3 of TB, but am already dissapointed. It really didn't translate well to TV. The sex scenes are random and AP just looks so uncomfortable all the time. There's an Aussie actor/comedian named Kym Gyngell who looks far too much like Bill. It makes it really difficult to take him seriously as a vamp. I do agree with you about the books - easy to read and easy to forget!
Good on you for doing the breast cancer walk.
Sep. 29th, 2008 09:15 pm (UTC)
Grr...dissapointed = disappointed. I hate that word.
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( 54 comments — Leave a comment )


Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

Time Wot It Is

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