Laura Stone (stoney321) wrote,
Laura Stone

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True Blood on HBO: hate. Hate hate hate hate.

The books are not intelligent, they don't do something new with the English language, they aren't multi-layered thinkers. They are, however, fun. They are funny. And most of all, and this is the important part, they are SOUTHERN. They don't insult the south, they don't say that all southerners are sweaty dumb asses looking to fuck and fight. And when the characters in the book are sweaty dumb asses looking to fuck and fight, it's funny, because these books aren't about that, except for how they are.

Got that? Yeah. Neither did Alan Ball.

What I loved about the books (and again, they are utter fluff, but FUN fluff) was the main character, Sookie Stackhouse. She's southern, polite, sweet, more than a little sassy, religious, kind, tender, and very very VERY lonely. She has no friends, she has no confidants. She has co-workers who are friendly with her, but this Tara character... I wanna smack that girl upside the head.

Jason trying to connect with Sookie at the funeral? NO. SOOKIE is lonely, SOOKIE realizes she has no family left and SHE makes the attempt and her brother HITS HER. Hello! Sookie Stackhouse would never say "fuck" at a funeral, and certainly not her Gran's. Sookie is a virgin because she can't go on dates because she can hear her date's thoughts. SHE IS LONELY. She is also a good, southern, religious girl who,in a fit of depression, gets swept off her feet by Bill, who is kind and gentle with her, and they have sex, and it's a big deal. Because she's a virgin. She doesn't know if she'll be any good, if she has any skills, if Worldly Bill will think she's a bore, you know: normal first-time stuff.

(And it's surprisingly hot in the book, too. Like, squirmy hot. Even though it's mainstream writing so, you know, not hot like WE know hot. *G*)

Where the hell was THAT? That would have been interesting, especially in light of all the sex-capades Ball insists on putting Jason through. It's a BIG DEAL that Sookie is in her 20s and never has had sex.

  • I don't want to see Sam and Tara get it on anymore, and I bet Charlain Harris is so sad she turned these books over to Alan Ball.

  • I don't want to see Anna Paquin do weird things with her legs and shoulders: shy legs (knock-kneed) and "hey look at m'titties!" shoulders. That's not acting, darling.

  • I do NOT want to see Anna Paquin's boobs again, because I felt weird because she was a child actor, and just... GAH. (They are nice breasts. Just- I don't want to see that.)

  • I do not want to see Tara's mama. Or Tara. Or Mrs. Fortenbery's imagined drama with Tara. Or Jason Stackhouse having pathetic sex with anyone on the show at all.

I do like the gay cook (his name escapes me) who wasn't a presence in the book like he is here, but the actor is funny and makes great choices with his body language.

The one thing I thought was nice? Bill waking up from a bad dream and being frustrated with the light preventing him from helping. Even though in the book, vampires naturally sleep when there's sun, which was a nice addition to the genre. (Like, you cannot wake them up because it's instinct.) Yeah, yeah, book adaptions aren't the same as the book by nature, I get that, but Alan Ball doesn't get what the damn books are about, so this may as well be a completely different show with different names, as far as I'm concerned.

In conclusion: hate this show. Hate the lack of direction. hate the racial and regional stereotypes. The only true southern thing in the whole show is the theme song. Don't tell me that I just need another episode, or anything like that. There's far better TV out there (Mad Men, for example) that show the seamy side of life and do a better job of actually making you care about the characters.

And that nightgown! Good godamighty, how is a cocktail waitress that works in a bar off the main track in a one-light town supposed to afford a romantic nightgown like that? And like a virgin that has never really kissed anyone is going to be all "I'm gonna run across a field and fuck because I didn't cry about finding my granny bloody and dead in the house!" Why wasn't she upset about her freaking GRANDMOTHER being murdered??! When I read that part of the books, I actually was quite sad. Anna Paquin couldn't do more than eat a damn pie as a way to show her utter sorrow at being alone in the world? (sans her bro, who is a douche)

And LASTLY: that was the worst-looking excuse for a pecan pie I've ever seen, and THAT, ladies and gents, was the straw on this camel's back.

Harrumph. Crappy, silly, unfocused show. DONE.

Yes, I'm in a bad mood. Partly because of bad TV and partly because of something someone said to me recently that STILL has me rankled. I'm lacing up my shoes for a 15 miler today, and my hope is that will pound the ugly out of me, because I do NOT like being in a bad mood. BAH.
Tags: tv
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