Laura Stone (stoney321) wrote,
Laura Stone

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The first person that sings "Just Breathe" to me gets a sock to the chops.

Mostly because I have a preteen daughter that's been singing that for a few days now. OH MY GOD I AM GOING STIR CRAZY. I cannot spend another day in bed, tired from anesthesia or no. Save me from the quiet! In return, I'll blab on about too much stuff, 'kay?


I have to first say that I absolutely adore my surgeon and his staff. They're sweet - like, first year kindergarten teacher sweet. They LOVE what they do. Even at the end of the day. My SURGEON called me every day the first week to check in on me. Not his staff, not the nurse, the SURGEON. I kinda really love where I live. It's like this everywhere. [psychotropics in the water is my guess] Oooh, and my doctor was kinda cute and young, too. And he tucked my hair behind my ears. DANGER! hahaha. His puka-shell necklace didn't do it for me, though. [Who still wears that? If you are, you need to stop. I say that because I care.]

So, he's young and fresh from John Hopkins with the latest technology for nose stuff. There was NO bruising. None. I could breathe freely by Friday, which was four days after lots and lots of stuff done up there. I only took maybe... five pain pills the whole time? They said I could take two every four to six hours. Not necessary at all. (And you're thinking 'but Stoney! I thought you had a problem with drugs and alcohol? Didn't you just down the whole bottle of pills and washed them down with some cheap vodka?' To which I say, yes, but this is a family journal. *blink* I washed it down with HEROIN. It doesn't smell and frighten the children. Won't someone think of the children? Besides me?)

Clearly I'm going crazy. I have to say, I really appreciated all the information everyone who'd gone through this procedure had to share. Turns out I didn't experience but a fraction of the discomfort, thanks to my good friend Medical Advances. Also? Turns out that my septum wasn't the problem. The missing sinuses were. WHAT? Lemme show you:

1 & 2 = big huge cavernous passages that are important, yes? I don't have #2. At all. Born that way. [insert "blockhead" jokes here]
#1 had collapsed to the size of a coffee straw.
3 & 4 = big huge passages that are your front lines for air intake.
#3 was also collapsed to the size of a coffee straw.
The septum blocked air going into #4 and the deep sinuses behind your eyes that you can't really see in this diagram.
#5 and #6 are called "turbinates" and they direct air into the sinuses. See how they curl? That's important. Mine didn't - they were flat.

Which means that my sinuses didn't drain properly which is why I was constantly congested. Now that I'm NOT congested, I can see the difference. I really didn't know that I was, truth be told.

So. Balloon sinusplasty was done to repair the collapsed sinuses. The septum was repaired using "lasers" [make Dr. Evil finger quotes] to shape it. No incisions. Lasers were brought in again to "shape" the turbinates into the proper curve. No packing, no big cotton thingies jammed up in there. Just a gauze strip under my nose that I changed out routinely and two splints stitched in place to hold my septum for a few days while the laser incisions healed. I had those out on Friday, and BOY. That was, uh, interesting. As soon as they were out (oh my god, they were over four inches long. Up my schnozz. I felt like Ahnold in "Total Recall," the best sci-fi action movie ever.) I could immediately breathe. ON BOTH SIDES OF MY HEAD. <-- I've never done that before, you see.

I go back on Friday to make sure everything is in working order, and then that's it. Two weeks of maintenance, a lifetime of O2. Best money I've ever spent, next to getting my knee fixed.

Oh! Last thing about noses and I'll shut up. I've talked to a few of you before about my nasal rinse bottle - if you don't have one and you have allergies/sinusitis/head colds, you need one. I didn't have to get one after my surgery because I've been using one for years, and it's FANTASTIC. It's like a Neti Pot, but it doesn't hurt and it's easier to use. It flushes everything out. Everything. Kind of gross the first time you use it, but you'll feel terrific. Part of my post-op care was to use this three times a day. I totally look forward to using it because I'm weird. Oh, and because I like breathing. \o/



I finished the entire series of Oz. I think it was best that I was in and out of sleep a bunch, because if there's one thing that can depress the hell out of you, it's a solid week of people suffering in prison. I'm sure there are some folks out there that loved all the man on man stuff, but it was so desperate, so out of need for any kind of human interaction (or, you know, it was rape more often than not) that I was never "whoo hoo!" about it. I did appreciate Christopher Meloni's constant need to show his bubble butt on screen though. Thanks, Chris. Oh, such a twisted character.

Again, that should be required viewing for every teenage boy. I never ever ever want to be in prison. Let's face it: I'd be Beecher. I'd want to be Said, but I'd be Beecher. *cries* I don't want a swastika burned on my tush, guys. I'm gonna be good my whoooole life. Ryan O'Reilly is my favorite character, hands down. He and his brother (real life brothers, too! I loved that) and their story arcs just broke me into little bits. You know what's not good after having sinus surgery? Crying. Talk about congestion...

At times the narrator role bothered me. It felt forced, it felt like bad theater. Other times, it worked like a sucker punch to the solar plexis. Over all, I'd say that's one of the better shows that's been on TV, even though it is BRU-TAL. And having Rita Moreno on my screen made me happy. Electric Company! Hey You GUUUYS!! <3

[ETA] because I'm totally scatterbrained. I am SORELY TEMPTED to write intentional bad!fic for OZ wherein Beecher and Keller are total woobies who have babies and eat ice cream and hold each other and cry and dream and love a kitten. Because 1) I'm sure there's dreck out there like that and 2) I'm sure it's not ironic (woe) and 3) to lighten the load. y/y? [scale hands]

Big Love

Oh, the last two episodes have just been heartbreaking. The one from last week: okay. ethrosdemon once asked me how on earth I could watch this show, given my opinion and crusading against polygamy. Well, I think I figured it out. I've been out of the church and away from that mindset for enough years now, that I almost think I've exaggerated things. That I've skewed things out of whack. Embellished.

And then another episode of Big Love airs, and I remember more, and it's all there on screen for EVERY ONE to see, and it's complete and utter validation for all the stuff I've been talking about to y'all over the years. So, it's like... proof that I'm not crazy.

So the Hendrickses on the road to Mormon Mecca. Palmyra, New York, where Joe Smith cried in the woods to know which church was true (this story changes depending on who you ask - the officially accepted story is the one in the pageant) and where he dug in the Hill Cumorah and found a stone box containing a golden book of scriptures with The Truth. By the way, when Bill was kneeling outside the stadium crying and praying, that's the mirror, except I read someone's blog saying it was the Angel Moroni flying in the sky. Nope, that was Jesus. Side fact: the Hill Cumorah Pageantl (the big day to go is July 24th, Pioneer Day, if their week-long schedule lands on that date) was written by Orson Scott Card. Here are some images - don't you love all of those blonde, blue-eyed Indians that see Jesus?

My very first "youth conference" trip (a way to have Faith Building trips for LDS youth) was to historic LDS sites. The one place we didn't go? Palmyra. It's seriously Mecca. Every other place they visited, though? That was my trip, too. Read those cards, took those pictures... I remember big family road trips, too. Caravaning a couple of cars to Utah... One big trip my sisters and I took with my aunt and uncle (the ones that won't speak to me now) was a great one: we had paper bowls and plates and ate cereal and PB&Js in our cramped hotel rooms - their six kids, my aunt and uncle, and my two sisters and I in the SAME ROOM - before pushing on. Efficiency, walkie-talkies, time tables... Good times. That was the trip my sister busted her nose in a cheap motel's pool. Side track, sorry.

What hit me where I lived in that ep was the forced faith. "We will see these things that we've been taught have Meaning, and we will Believe once our eyes are on them." In my book, I have a chapter about that trip I took when I was fourteen, about seeing where Joseph Smith was imprisoned, where he died, how we were expected to Feel upon seeing it. I loved that picture Bill tried to take with everyone being depressed and unhappy. Yeah, I get it.

Last night's ep... Oh, the poor, poor women. Every single one of them with no control in their lives. The stupid little things that they CAN control to feel not so buffeted by the power of the Priesthood. Like Margene forcing Nikki to quit and getting some of her unhappiness under control. Nikki desperate to have SOMETHING be her choice, not forced on her. Oh, poor poor Kathy. Her braid!! Oh, that just sucker punched my soul. That shit is REAL, goddammit. Selma and Hollis Green? Those creepy woman sentinels that helped that asshole get Kathy to that barn? I would bet my eye teeth they are the LeBarons. I've talked about them before, and how I worked with one of his escaped daughters. They're actually crazier than the show is showing, if you can believe that. Oh, it just makes me ill.

I have to say it again: this show is changing the names and places of REAL THINGS and putting it on every Sunday. This isn't fiction, guys. [clutches heart]

I freaking loved that Lois was telling her grandsons some horror stories. Grace Zabriske is a fan-freaking-tastic actress, and I love her to pieces. And oh, Wanda... Jennifer Aniston!! I love that she made her "schedule" with Brangelina and Aniston trying to get in the middle. Bless.

OH MY GOD, the papers. I completely forgot. So, my cousin is married to the Taylors. The Taylors are the descendants of John Taylor, the third prophet of the LDS church, the one after Brigham Young. He was the one that swore polygamy would never leave the earth, and he'd die before he let it. Woodruff was the leader after him, and the one that signed the agreement with the US gov't saying the church WOULD stop it. It's well known that the church didn't. Well, it's well known to old timers who lived in Utah all these years. Anyone with a basic knowledge of US history will recall the Smoot-Reed Act, which led to the Great Depression. Smoot was a Mormon congressman, who was almost kicked out for being a polygamist. 1894 when the "no more polygamy" act happened, and 1929 when the Smoot-Reed act was signed. Polygamist AFTER the "no more" ban. Hello! It's also well known (again, to old timers in Utah - those from pioneer stock) that the church was STILL sealing multiple wives to men up through the early decades of the 20th century. In Salt Lake City. But since that goes against the image the church has carefully crafted over the past twenty or so years as law-abiding, honest citizens, and because people evidently have short memories, any reminders of that are a big No No.

Back to my cousin. Her husband's family is, oh, 40% polygamist, still. And why? Because John Taylor, their patriarch and prophet of God for the LDS church called family members (and others) to keep polygamy going, in secret. People were sent to Colonia Juarez and Ciudad in Mexico to keep it up. Or just to central Utah in the middle of nowhere, where my cousin lives. They have documentation somewhere that was written BY THE PROPHET giving them the authority to keep it up. So that paper they talked about? Yeah, I totally believe it's real, and I totally believe the church has already bought it and buried it in the archives, where no one can go, unless given explicit permission from the prophet or his lieutenants.

Side note, the last, I noticed that they're filming in Fillmore, AZ. Fillmore is a TEENY town south of the Arizona Strip (read: Colorado City) that has a population of about 600 folks. They're all either descendants of polygamists, polygamists, or native Americans. That's where they're filming some of the Juniper Creek scenes - it's on the north rim of the Grand Canyon and it's just desolate. The houses are just shit holes. Poor people that make just enough to eke out a living, but never enough to leave. (Something a resident told me once about living in southern Utah. As true as it gets.)

The music was gorgeous. I need that soundtrack. And every time I tell my kids to "be sweet" I gag a little. It's so fucking ingrained, and I hate that. Bleh.

Anyway, I can't stop watching that show. Oh, Kathy. She is maybe the most realistic character to the real people I've ever seen. I really think she must have descendants that were polygamist. Her family is LDS - she went to BYU. Nothing like some realism to make it all the more real...

Last but not least, I have some wines that I'm super excited about my senses coming back (I've not really been able to taste for a week - last night it started coming back). Saint Georges-St. Emilion, 2003. Just a fantastic and drinkable bordeaux. Complex, and if you let it breathe a bit, it just opens up to rich, spicy notes with a clean finish. I had a hard time finding that particular wine, so I bought four bottles. It'll keep for 20 more years, just getting better and better. Highly recommend for now and future drinking. About $23 a bottle, and worth every penny, imo. Interesting tidbit: this vineyard has been around since 2 A.D. !! Thank you, Roman Empire. I seriously have a hard time finding some of these labels online - I'll have to start taking pictures and uploading them, I think. If only for my own record keeping.

#2 is another bordeaux, Cháteau Larose-Trintaudon Haut-Médoc 2003 [Crus Bourgeois Superieur] For under 20 bucks, this is terrific. It's another that you can cellar for a decade or two and it'll just develop even more. I'm finding that I love wines with a very complex and borderline spicy front and a clean finish. I don't care for acidic tannins that overpower the first taste, if that makes sense. (I find most wine talk to be soooo pretentious. I'm trying to avoid that, and failing, huh?) It drink good. I like the taste. Mmm. [pats belly] :D

I had a neat talk with a man that owns a wine shop that we like to frequent and he informed me that if I see any Bordeaux from 2005, I need to pick them up and cellar them. That was the "perfect year" for temp, etc. in the region and will be one of the premier vintage years. Like '45 was for champagne, in other words. From me to you!
Talk to me! What's been happening around here? I'm not even going to attempt to look at all the stuff I've missed, all the friendsfriends clicking, etc. Feel free to chat away, peeps!
Tags: big love, navel gazing, religion, stoney doesn't suck, tv, wine list

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    Back from a quick and mostly unplanned trip to DC for the girls' Spring Break. The Mr. threw it all together and sprung it on us last minute. It was…

  • Wednesday Random

    For whatever reason, I scheduled a million (three) appointments with various doctors yesterday and felt like a prize-winning pig by the end of it.…

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