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Busy Day

Boy, do I have loads to do today.

Today I get to go downtown and get an official alias for work purposes. Oh, they call it a "DBA" [doing business as] but I think we all know what it really is: a secret identity to go deep undercover to break up celebrity sex rings. It's a tough job, but someone has to do it.

I hope it involves a hot pink wig, some thigh-high boots, and a gun. I've been working on my Charlie's Angels pose all weekend.

In other news, I moved 3/4 of a ton of compost into the garden and lawn this weekend, and I'm so sore it's not even funny. Unless you were watching me try to bend over and pick something up - you'd probably think that was funny. Jerks. I got sooooo sunburned because I am stupid and didn't remember that I'm ghostly white from winter and my tolerance for 8 hours in straight-up sunshine has waned. Oy.

Last night I watched a show that made me so sad - I eventually had to turn it off. It was about the super morbidly obese (over 500 pounds) and the dangers of undergoing surgery and.... Augh. It's just so sad, the desperation and ill health. I'm not going to judge anyone, because clearly getting to that point isn't about food. (It never is.)

If I may, I'm just going to put something out there for those that might want to change some habits. Take your weight. Add a 0. That's how many calories you need every day just to stay exactly as you are. So, a person that weighs 200 pounds needs 2000 calories to not change. If you wanted to lose a pound or two a week (which is the healthy amount - any more and you'll damage your skin, etc.) just drop 100 calories a day. That's it. Note that this doesn't include exercise, which you should do just because it feels good, etc. All the stuff we know. I wondered if that equation [your weight + 0 on the end = daily calories to stay the same] was well known.

(And cut out sodas. Especially diet sodas. They actually screw up your metabolism and trick your body into GAINING weight.) Now, remember that I am not judging the shape of you. Ever. I just want y'all to stick around feeling healthy and happy for as long as possible, that's all. <3

Oh, wait!


I was almost 100% certain that Nikki's ex-husband was going to kidnap her and take her to the "Kansas Compound" (read: YFZ Ranch) or to Mexico, and the Hendrickses would think she'd left them, and no one would know what happened. Huh. I'm interested in seeing what happens with her and Alby now.

Oh, Wanda and Lois, two peas in a pod. I loved their interactions together. Is it just me, or is anyone not giving a damn about the daughter's "life crisis?" I could care less - it feels so forced and over-amped. Not interested.

Lastly, yesterday was the birthday of one of my most favorite people in real life and online, dovil. Now that she's so old, she can get us senior discounts for cat food, yay! Hope it was a good one, cookie, and your friends behaved. I hate that New Zealand (if it even exists - I mean, it's not on any of MY maps) is so far away. You're the only one that understands my drinking solution. (It's not a problem, you see.) :D


( 32 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 9th, 2009 03:07 pm (UTC)
hmmm... I think Nicki's ex might try to kidnap her; whether he'll succeed depends on how serious she is about not wanting to do the show any more. (Hey. It's HIT. Why do people deliberately walk away from successful shows?)

Lovelovelove Lois. "Oh, the concussions I gave my sister-wives..." And Sarah? So. Over. Her. There is nothing there for her to do except mope about herself. College would be good for her. She needs to quit thinking about herself.

Sorry, I've been reading your lj for a while and love Big Love.
Mar. 9th, 2009 03:22 pm (UTC)
Oh, I don't think her being kidnapped would get her off the show - that's a commonality with women in those communes, so they could add yet another layer of reality to it.

Sarah totally needs to go off to college and have to deal with people finding out she's from a polygamist family. WAY more interesting than her current "who am I? What is there for me?" mope-fest.
Mar. 9th, 2009 03:36 pm (UTC)
Years ago they did a special on Oprah about obese kids that have been overweight their entire lives'. It was incredibly sad!

I didn't know about the 'add a 0' equation, thank you!

I did know about the sodas, however. And microwave popcorn is supposedly bad too! I read about it in Prevention. I'll have to go back and check why it said it's bad...
Mar. 9th, 2009 03:53 pm (UTC)
This show was so heartbreaking - a lot of people that undergo gastric-bypass once they reach this stage don't survive the surgery. :(

Oooh, I didn't know anything was bad about microwave popcorn (except for the fat content if you get the buttery kind.) I'll go search that out!
... - stoney321 - Mar. 9th, 2009 03:58 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - brunettepet - Mar. 9th, 2009 04:21 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - kwizbit - Mar. 9th, 2009 06:46 pm (UTC) - Expand
Mar. 9th, 2009 03:49 pm (UTC)

I had no idea about the 'add a 0' either. That's very useful.

As someone else mentioned, it's the obese kids that break my heart. I've read that if this trend continues, the next generation might very well have a lower life expectancy. That's just tragic.
Mar. 9th, 2009 03:54 pm (UTC)
Oh, good, I'm glad that's useful for people!

Hopefully improved health care and education can stem the flow of super-obesity...
Mar. 9th, 2009 03:51 pm (UTC)
Secret identity, yay!
Mar. 9th, 2009 03:55 pm (UTC)
I feel like getting an attache and a trench coat and dark sunglasses!

I'll skulk about office buildings looking non-involved, yet intense.
... - entrenous88 - Mar. 9th, 2009 04:09 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Mar. 9th, 2009 04:10 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - minstrel666 - Mar. 9th, 2009 04:56 pm (UTC) - Expand
Mar. 9th, 2009 04:01 pm (UTC)
Thank you for the diet soda link! I have been after my husband for years because he drinks so much diet soda and he thinks it's a good thing. He also uses artificial sweeteners. Most people I know do. But even though I don't always practice what I preach, I've always thought that at least sugar is found in nature, and your body knows what to do with it. Not so much with things like soda and fake sugar. Now I can back up my rambling with an actual article.

See, this is why I love your LJ. Entertaining and educational.

Now about that celebrity sex ring...*hands you a digital camera* For the RPF, you understand. :P

Mar. 9th, 2009 04:09 pm (UTC)
I'm a big believer in eating natural foods. Natural chocolates, sugars, that stuff, too. People have been eating those things since we found fire, and humans have made it through, you know?

Oooh, thanks! I hope this isn't the kind that explodes if in the wrong hands...
Mar. 9th, 2009 04:24 pm (UTC)
How can you possibly remain incognito in a hot pink wig and thigh high boots? I'm just sayin'

We bought peppers this weekend - a red and a yellow manzano. Their tags say they fruit for 5 or 6 years! I thought pepper plants were annuals.
Mar. 9th, 2009 04:57 pm (UTC)
If Hollywood has taught us anything it's that only Russian spies will pay attention to a woman in a wig and boots. I'll be safe as kittens!

Whoa! I know that tomato plants are biennials, but I didn't know that some pepper plants were perennial, too! Maybe because of your warmer clime than up here? HUH!
Mar. 9th, 2009 04:52 pm (UTC)
How the Muspelheim am I going to survive on less than 600 calories a day?

Oh, wait, you meant weight in pounds. Phew...

I have actually been eating less and less since I started college and switched from sweets to nuts - now that I do my own cooking and shopping I can eat how much I want and what I want.

I still partake in cakes and such, but only when I'm over at somebody's or back home.
Mar. 9th, 2009 04:59 pm (UTC)
hahaha, yes, AMERICAN *points to self* so everything is in our cockamamie weights and measures system.

you may be an anomaly for college students, where it's typical to GAIN weight. I swear, if I didn't have kids to feed, I'd eat like you, too. Pecans/cashews, some cheese and a glass of wine for dinner = <3.
... - minstrel666 - Mar. 9th, 2009 05:13 pm (UTC) - Expand
Mar. 9th, 2009 05:17 pm (UTC)

Also I heard some Big Love spoilers and I think you're going to enjoy the next two eps. (Which is not saying anything on your guess, just that I immediately thought of you when I read what I read.)
Mar. 9th, 2009 06:20 pm (UTC)
RE: the diet cokes

Last year I managed to get most of my family to cut back on the cokes. Since my mom stopped drinking so much diet coke, she's told me, "You've ruined it for me! Ever since I cut back, it just doesn't taste as good when I do drink it!"

So what actually tastes good about diet coke? The addiction makes a drinker delude themselves into thinking it tastes delicious because otherwise they would not be able to justify the habit. Moral of the story: Drink H2O!
Mar. 9th, 2009 08:00 pm (UTC)

And yes, friends behaved, had a fabulous time and an even more fabulous hangover after my internal organs raptured from alcohol abuse.

Soda is the work of the devil - the only time I ever drink it now is mixed in with alcohol as god intended. That stuff is liquid crack (I say as I drink a coffee).

You get a secret alias? Sweet! Go rob a bank.
Mar. 9th, 2009 09:10 pm (UTC)
I officially have an alias! I would now like to be called The Blogger Formerly Known As Stoney.

Or the shortened AKA. How great would that be? Stoney, a.k.a. A.K.A. :D

I'm so glad you had a good weekend, when the package arrives there's a new liver inside waiting for you!
... - caoil - Mar. 9th, 2009 10:25 pm (UTC) - Expand
Mar. 10th, 2009 03:03 am (UTC)
i can't drink diet soda, or use any artificial sweetner (porphyria - the weird things i can't consume). also, diet soda gives me migrains (which may or may not be part of the porphyria)

but i AM addicted to Pepsi. i have been trying to drink other stuff, but... its bloody hard. i don't know why, i mean i JOKE about being addicted to Pepsi but now i'm beginning to think i really AM addicted to Pepsi.

i stumbled across that formula by accident over this last year. my meds were screwing with me so much, i lost 50 pounds in like 4 months. gained half of it back, dropped it all again, i've been yo-yoing around 180 for the past 5 months. so... should i be trying to eat 1700? i don't think i eat that much... (i really don't. i only eat like once a day, and its generally a bowl of cereal or oatmeal, that i can't finish). i can't get a doctor to care, because i am OVERweight, whenever the weight does this. so i have been trying to read up about it more... thank you for filling in another piece of the puzzle :)
Mar. 10th, 2009 06:05 am (UTC)
OMG, my back aches just thinking about moving that much compost. *sends soothing hot pack*
I was hoping to get my garden going, but it snowed again last night. Grrrr.
I think I watched that same program; it's like passing an accident scene; horrifying, but hard to look away from. The thing that strikes me is that there is so much denial, and so much ignorance about the causes of obesity..and I watched as the teenager who weighed about 600 pounds was practically handfed by his mother. I just shuddered. I've looked after patients in ICU who are morbidly obese, and it sure complicates everything. The thing about gastric bypass surgery most people don't know about is that some of the major side effects of the surgery are major electrolyte imbalances, chronic diarrhea, and even death. Changing the way one eats and exercising may be slower ways to lose weight, but I think better in the long run.
*takes off nursing cap, steps off soapbox*
Mar. 10th, 2009 10:39 am (UTC)
ACK! I want to see this show, Big Love. Might be spoilers, but they just make me more curious... :-P

Also... I didn't know you could have a doing business as-alias... o.O Thats just silly.
Mar. 10th, 2009 06:54 pm (UTC)
What size shoes do you wear? I've got a pair of thigh-high, spike-heeled black pirate-type boots I almost never wear, because spike heels and I are NOT FRIENDS. So if you wear a 7, I could hook you up.
Mar. 10th, 2009 07:01 pm (UTC)
Oh, and I didn't know the easy formula about weight and calories! That will make estimating portions a lot easier for me, thanks!

Is unflavored unsweetened seltzer (maybe with a wedge of lemon or lime) less evil? I get it about the liquid HFCS solution, and the evil tricksy artificial sweeteners, but do I have to avoid carbonation? Because my water tastes so much nicer when it's fizzy.
Mar. 10th, 2009 08:05 pm (UTC)
1. I wear an 8, so no pirate hooker boots for me, more's the pity. :(
2. It's the artificial sweeteners that do the damage, so as long as your drinking natural products, there's no worry. I read that sodas made the old school way aren't so damaging - they're made with real sugar, not HFCS.

Carbonation is a-ok!
( 32 comments — Leave a comment )


Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

Time Wot It Is

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