Laura Stone (stoney321) wrote,
Laura Stone

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I tell you sad tales of myself for your amusement and mockery

Yesterday, while loading into the Monster Truck (my husband's Man Ride on Massive Wheels, aka: the back reaches my chest, and I'm 5'6") 11 fifty pound bags of compost (that totals 550 pounds, aka a quarter ton) I did something horrendous to my lower back. Like, the root of my back and my bum muscles. Oh my GOD I have never experienced pain like that. Now, I hoist stuff like that all the time, just not into that high of a trailer. Also, it was 95 degrees. I soaked in Epsom salts, took a naproxen, a few glasses of wine, and rubbed some capascin-based muscle relief gel into the sore spot. That's the important part. [eta] Guys. I OWN the cream. I use the cream and have for years. It's designed for mucles. Keep reading....

Since I was all clean when I went to bed because of the nice soak in the tub, and since I knew that I was going to get dirty today while spreading that compost, I didn't shower TODAY. I'm very good about sunscreen, for those who might want to give me their life history. (don't.) Anyhoo, while spreading the compost gently around all of my strawberry plants I began to notice a sensation in my.... tukus. I'm sitting on the driveway in thick shorts. I touch the sidewalk with my hand, it's warm, duh, but not blistering.

I flex my muscles, shift, and wriggle back into a comfy position and after a few minutes OH MY DEAR SWEET NEFERTITI MY ASS IS ON FIRE.

Wanna know why? Capascin cream. Hot sidewalk. Sunshine. My butt is blistering red and so sore. I've got my computer on the bar so I can stand and write. I'm going to float in a cold bathtub once I'm cooled off.

My butt! My butt! My butt is on fire, say, we don't need no water, let the fire get higher! NO, please, no.

In other news, my garden is all tucked away for the summer heat, I picked well over 4 pints of strawberries with more on the way, and my SPF 75 did such a good job that I have a stripe on my face from where I didn't spread it in all the way on my forehead, lol. I'm a mess, hahaha. (And a cold shower + aloe vera = all betters. Mostly. Hee.)
Tags: stoney sucks, waaaah
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