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I've seen a lot of bad human behavior in the past few days. Not just the town hall meetings of childishness shouting to keep any reason from entering the debate on health care, but also a horribly smug snot-rag who wrote an article for the New York Times where she basically denigrated anyone who isn't a size 2 (um, that's a big fight you're picking, honey) and anyone that can't afford expensive jeans (see other fight, and do you think your teeny frame can handle two?) She apologized to the effect of, "Get over it." Actually , she told her readers to get their "panties out of a twist." Later, her bosses clearly told her to suck it up and play nice, so she wrote nice. Kind of. But it was obvious she was forced to write words she didn't mean. (Thanks handsomspeck for the link.)

Look. We all do dumb things at times. We all say stupid things at times. Most importantly, we all get things wrong at times. We have an opinion that is based on someone else's stupidity, or piss poor research on our own part, and we get called on it. Here's what you do, in case you didn't know/weren't taught.

You say, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize that a) those words hurt you, b) I had my facts wrong, c) I was misinformed, d) I did something wrong." Pick one option or all of them.

You don't say, "Well, a) you are stupid, get over it, b) it shouldn't hurt you because I know someone that said my words were funny/cool/acceptable, c) get your panties out of your butt and chill." Because that leads to a fight. And guess which is SHORTER, QUICKER, and BETTER? "I am sorry."

(And here's the thing: you can say you're sorry to make the OTHER PERSON feel better, and that's what you can be sorry about: hurting a fellow human. And that means we let you stay in our club of BEING human. And not an ambulatory asshole, shuffling around spouting crap and using up our oxygen.)

This is crap I taught my kids, why can't grownups learn it? "I'm sorry." Two words to make it all better.

You're welcome.

And please go see my journalist friend Liz's journal where she is taking a poll on healthcare, both for US peeps and non. This is non-partisan. :)

If you'll excuse me, I'm off to do some yoga and find some zen. And I won't be turning on the news. OM.

Comments

chrryblssmninja
Aug. 14th, 2009 06:14 am (UTC)
I totally knew you were talking bout the JC Penney article even before I double-checked and clicked the link. I first read about it here: JC Penney is for the fat

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Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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