As my soon-to-be brother-in-law (who 1. wrote the movie 2. plays a hilarious frat boy and 3. I have "sex" with on screen, no that wasn't awkward for my sister - the costumer - to watch, why do you ask?) wrote on his Facebook page:
See the movie Hollywood California is calling "So balls out sweet, it's like kickboxing a kickboxing shark," and Famous Acting Celebrities are declaring "The literal film equivalent to eleven simultaneous g spot orgasms."
I don't know how to top that, but I'll try:
Sophie's Choice. Citizen Kane. Casablanca. A Streetcar Named Desire. Blood on the Highway. What do all of these movies have in common? One word, and one word only: AWESOMENESS. And Russians. And wife beaters on hot dudes. Every one of those movies has all of that, and yet somehow Blood on the Highway is more. So much more. It has blood, whores, vampires, bear traps, and dick jokes. BLOOD ON THE HIGHWAY: see it or get beat up by the AV squad.
Every time you see this movie a kitten keeps its claws. Every time you don't? A clown humps your mother. BLOOD ON THE HIGHWAY!*
*for more background on this kick booty movie, click the BotH tag. The movie is being released in October on Blu-ray in... France. It makes sense if you squint. Still waiting to hear the dvd release date for other countries.
ETA Do you read French? Proof that they love us. (Or that they hate us, I don't speak French.)
POORLY TRANSLATED FROM FRENCH REVIEW OF BLOOD ON THE HIGHWAY:
As of the first images, several words come to mind: “Film of pals” “Turning out of FD” “Redneck in madness” “heavy Rock'n'roll texan” “Gore which stains”. BLOOD ONE THE HIGHWAY, it a little all that, is packed with the axe, is played like feet but… a little nevertheless. Moreover, it is indeed the first time where it will be possible for you d' to hear a line of dialogue as “Which do I make here at 5 o'clock in the morning instead of me make tickle the anus by two popstars Cashmere?” in a film of vampire. Or even the very very first time in the world in n' import which type of measuring. Really. Carrie (Robin Gierhart), Sam (Nate Rubin) and Bone (Deva George - also stuntman, person in charge of the special effects and designer of the credits) benefit from one transfered in the motor until the festival of Mr. Fire (a kind of Burning Man Festival to the texanne) and arrive in the town of Fate (French Destiny) which is in fact a den of vampires.
BittenSam, our small troop takes refuge in a house in company of Byron (Tony Medlin), hunter of vampires, and a couple joyeusement being sent in the air: the hour is serious! Serious to describe this sympathetic nerve BLOOD ONE seems a pretty word THE HIGHWAY. One feels the texane local production well with accents to be cut to the knife and a nice satire of Texan Way off Life. On the basis of a history pass key, the scenario succeeds in however certainly injecting into its veins a blood not very new but in any case
refreshing although deeply weak.
The film is addressed clearly to a public acquired in advance: the film fan of horror tendency nerd/geek, knowing its traditional on the end of fingers (2000 MANIACS, randomly), beer drinker and amateur of tits, belches, decorated farts of a foireux-furious gore. All is said, remains with casting to give life to a history little folichonne but rich in bounces and other winks. Most attentive will see a festival cinema
passing MULBERRY STREET and LAKE DEAD! Casting? To howl of amateurism. Ca good fleure the Sodebo studio of the play of actor scented with the gravy.
Dialogues output with the mincer - if possible while howling -, play of actor passed to the moulinette - where there is a bone -, thick section of humour like three ox coasts: all is “very “kolossale moothness”, surjoué but the realizers, already guilty of a PRISON has GO-GO with Mary Woronov, wished to give in this register. Thus force is to recognize that each one puts considerably his at it at this play. Humour? To slip on blood plates. An example: behind the door of my house where the survivors are, a male-intonated voice is made hear. It indicates to being a blonde to the enormous centres, naked and pursued by vampires. The nerd of service does not believe in it of course.
Reverse shot on, indeed: a blonde with the enormous centres, naked and… who is made puff out by vampires. The 91 minutes of measuring are with the tuning fork of this gag, of which some so large that they end up making pass the pill. Environment is so much how-go-you-yaudpoele-and-fabric-àmatelas between pals that at the end of half an hour, plus nothing does not obstruct. Between the hunter of vampires amateur of theories of the plot to the multiples been engaged, Sam pleutre who is made vampiriser by error, Carrie obnubilated by the money and the fly of Bone, the ex of the hunter which jumps on all that moves, Roy (Chris Gardner) libidineux with wish and Bone ordurier, primate and alcoholic, the training session of the group with the hunter which ends up licking its rifle… not what to be bored. Even if half of the gags fall flat.
The social one? Rhesus me, vampire! BLOOD ONE THE HIGHWAY allows the luxury of a scenario which makes s' to face two communities (all as bitches one as the other), but with characters drawn rather well. The village of Fate is in fact a community vampire under the cut of a named multinational Consumart
which hopes well to exploit the human ones gradually. Either would a vampire works for Consumart, or it buys its products there… be a light parabola of our consumer society? Diantre! Moreover a supermarket opens there at the beginning of film, but as by chance with laying down sun! Vampires, a new
community consumerist which seeks to live: See the manifestation of the last quarter with signs, protests in all kinds against the recalcitrant human bunch. Besides this community has its enlightened preacher, his social organization and seems furiously preserving. Texas, anyone?
Barak Epstein and Blair Rowan pride themselves on a small ambition that many products without any budget do not dare and who make pass the whole with a humour for once successful and with the assumed coarseness. Not that the message is light - it has the éléphantesque grace of a bulldozer in erection - but that goes with the remainder. Thus that passes. And that breaks. Gore? Generous, with abundance and funny. One does not count any more the cut out members, crushed bodies, buckets of haemoglobin, internal organs, torn off throats, crucifiés vampires… a true festival. The more so as the observers came there in mass! Effects special with old, slightly/unfortunately crossbred of numerical blood on some plans. There is even one of heroins which projects piles of wood with its vagina. Veracious.
Music? Except cheapos of rigour and diverted ballades country, one is entitled to a festival not-stop of rock'n'roll texan deafening on bottom of collective hysteria. With in particular a démarquage of the “Eye off the Tiger” of Survivor: “Who' S gonna kill all thesis fucking vampires?” by Thunder Thighs. For which likes, that can do it, but at the end of some songs, that wearies nevertheless so much this joining was already used elsewhere. It is there too necessary to know to be tolerant on what one subjects to our ears. The camera? Agitated in the scenes of action, it s' prove purely functional in those of exposure.
One does not have to expect miracles, but the directors have energy to resell, the direction of the rate/rhythm and gag. That compensates for the generalized amateurism of the measuring which gives in fact much more guilty pleasure than any video new faggoted more or less well by companies having well-established (or almost). Let us recognize in any case a neat photograph the major part of time, night scenes rather quite enlightened for such a product which however profited from two teams of turning.
In conclusion, that feels the love of the kind, in situ do-it-yourself, the socks not clean and dried blood. They make of this BLOOD ONE THE HIGHWAY an entry noticed enough in the bosom of the funny-gore film (a), in the absence of being remarkable in a more general register. Impossible to leave to the cinema, this film would indisputably deserve to be discovered by the many bisseux amateurs (and others). Dirtily fun!
I appreciate being a heroin that projectiles my joyusement to the world. YOU'RE WELCOME.