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Oh. My. God.

I found my journal from my first year in college. In Mormon Utah. You know that picture that I want to be on the cover of my memoir/book? I just found where those two missionaries had written their names into my journal.

What the ever loving-

Like, they must have seen it on my desk in my dorm room (that's where that picture is from), taken it, and put their names and info in my FREAKING JOURNAL. Wow.

Also, I am completely embarrassed by my self-professed bravado and almost slavish dedication to my faith. I describe the attractive attributes of boys as them having "really strong spirits and testimonies." I was 20! I should have been checking out hot asses! And when guys chastened me with their superior intellect in all things spiritual, I called them "awesome studs" and remarked about "how much I have yet to learn."

GOOD GOD. Wow. I've, uh, come a long way since then. O_O

[ETA] OH HAIL NAW. I referred to this one boy as my JOHNNY LINGO. I could die. Never doubt that I was hard core LDS, haters. :(


( 58 comments — Leave a comment )
Jan. 6th, 2010 09:44 pm (UTC)
It was pod!stoney!
Jan. 6th, 2010 10:06 pm (UTC)
IT TOTALLY WAS. I was LDSBORG!Stoney, fo sho.
... - turnonmyheels - Jan. 6th, 2010 10:13 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Jan. 6th, 2010 10:24 pm (UTC) - Expand
Jan. 6th, 2010 09:46 pm (UTC)
Ahahahaha. Nerd.

and remarked about "how much I have yet to learn."

Mini-stoney had no idea alright! :D

Love the cover!
Jan. 6th, 2010 10:07 pm (UTC)
TOTAL nerd. And I wrote my journal like I expected someone to read it.


Things haven't changed, huh?
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Jan. 6th, 2010 09:57 pm (UTC)

I don't even.
Jan. 6th, 2010 10:07 pm (UTC)
I KNOW. The self flagellation to honor the Almighty Priesthood!!

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Jan. 6th, 2010 10:03 pm (UTC)
I describe the attractive attributes of boys as them having "really strong spirits and testimonies."

If I heard a 20-year-old girl describe a boy like that, I would translate the line as, "really strong muscles and cute rear ends--but they're missionaries, so I feel like I have to describe them in pious terms."
Jan. 6th, 2010 10:08 pm (UTC)
Hahahahaha! I may have meant it that way deep, deeeeeeeep down. But I just loved how dedicated to the Lord's Work they were! SEXY. o_0
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Jan. 6th, 2010 10:57 pm (UTC)
*pats your back soothingly* There, there, dear.

When I was twenty, I was such a prude I walked out of a stage show because it implied sex. It's amazing how straitlaced I was.

What gets me is that one of those young men looks so much like one of the elders who came to dinner. *teehee*
Jan. 6th, 2010 11:02 pm (UTC)
Ha, that's awesome.
Jan. 6th, 2010 11:17 pm (UTC)
When I was twenty I went to college and started become progressively more awesome/mature/confident. It's high school that I wish to forget. Goddamit was I a tool.

I used to write these letters on A4 sheets to one of my platonic girl friends (which is not a girlfriend. She is a girl and a friend) and seal them with wax, try to join every club/activity and then flunk out immediately when it turned out I sucked (I probably just didnt have the discipline to dedicate myself) and all other things. Get me drunk and then say "high school". You will hear stories.
Jan. 6th, 2010 11:48 pm (UTC)
It took me getting divorced with two babies before I got mature. BOY I WISH IT HAD BEEN EARLIER. :D

Once I get you drunk, I now know the code word. AWESOME.
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Jan. 6th, 2010 11:29 pm (UTC)
I want your book so bad now LOL
Jan. 6th, 2010 11:48 pm (UTC)
And I want you to have it! *pokes agents* :D
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Jan. 6th, 2010 11:35 pm (UTC)
Oh, you sound so cute. Thank goodness you've changed.
Jan. 6th, 2010 11:49 pm (UTC)
LOL at sounding cute. Hyper-spastic, that was me. And OH, the earnestness! Wow.
Jan. 7th, 2010 02:54 am (UTC)
Two years ago I had a bunch of stuff stolen from a storage unit I rented, one of the tubs contained some of my old journals. I'm glad to know where they ended up!

Precious thoughts, huh?

I followed your link to your old post about Johnny Lingo, and now I want to know how Saturday's Warrior is about birth control.
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Jan. 7th, 2010 03:26 am (UTC)
I found your journal via your Twatlight post.

Is there anywhere you write about how/when/why you left the church?
Jan. 7th, 2010 01:02 pm (UTC)
Oh man, this journal is 6 years old. You'll have to click on my tags. "Mormons" would be a good start. ;)
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Jan. 7th, 2010 10:48 am (UTC)
I am having flashbacks to my 16 year old Born Again self. *little cries of embarrassed horror*
Jan. 7th, 2010 01:02 pm (UTC)
There, there. *pats* You weren't the only one. We're better now, aren't we?
Jan. 7th, 2010 05:51 pm (UTC)
My daddy, being of sound southern heritage and the non-bread winning member of his coupledom, told me to go to school and find me a man who would 'take care of me.' Now, I love my daddy. I do. But to this day, I laugh at the hypocrisy in that statement. My mom made the money and ran the household, so in his emasculated state, he decided his daughter needed a man to take care of her.

Um. yeah. He does admit that telling me that was probably the best way to get me to finish school and get a good job because I'm just too oppositional. He'd like to believe he did that on purpose but he knows he can't pull that off. LOL

I just read your Johnny Lingo blog. I wanna be a 12 Orca wife, too!
Jan. 7th, 2010 06:38 pm (UTC)
In Mormon Culture, that's called going to school for your "M.R.S."

And oh, the joy of men telling us to get someone to care for us, when we do the lioness's share of the work. :D

12 Orca Wives! I'm making up the t-shirts now.
(Deleted comment)
Jan. 7th, 2010 07:56 pm (UTC)
It's sobering, to be sure. :)

You know, I just don't know. I can't imagine them being able to do that, but then, I don't know how they got the time/chance to sign it! Maybe they talked my roommate into letting them? They were around ALL the time, and that was against rules, I might add, as we were single young ladies. It's just blechy.
Jan. 10th, 2010 07:11 pm (UTC)
I keep my old Mormon-journals around to keep me sober. Every time I think I've beaten back all the crazy brain-washing, I open one to the first page and remember. (Course, each journal begins with a faith-inspiring page and ends with a complete 180.)

I always forget what it was like, sometimes I'd like to assume that no one thinks that way. That *I* could NEVER have thought that way... but then I peered at my cousin's journal. It's true. It's scary. And I'm so glad I can't remember how it's possible.
Jan. 10th, 2010 08:02 pm (UTC)
Yeah, you're definitely not the only one. It's like you finally emerge from the hive-mind and realize that up is actually down and right has always been left. It's that much of a shock, right? Bah.
( 58 comments — Leave a comment )


Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

Time Wot It Is

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