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First, I'm the guest blogger today over at TerribleMinds, which is totally cool. Word of warning, though, the post is all about my love of cuss words. (I was assigned that topic, lol.) Translation: NSFW.

Second, I really could use some sleeping in time as my son didn't go to bed until 5:30am, complaining about itchy feet. Yeah, so I was raised in a house of girls, and we were fairly prissy, so I didn't realize my son was carrying FILTH AND PESTILENCE on his body in the form of athlete's foot. BOYS ARE GROSS. Your locker rooms are a cesspool, evidently, and as such have infected my pristine child (lol) with disease.

I am now armed with rubber gloves, Lysol to spray the bathtub and floor down (and to have him do after each shower) new insoles for his shoes and some tough-actin' Tinactin. Next up is to drag him to Target or the Walmarts to get some shower shoes. BOYS ARE NASTY. I keep getting the heebie jeebies every time I think about it. BLECH. I know, I know, it's pretty dang common, and it's not like he has lice (glah - I would burn my house down) but groooooooss. Boys: bringing filth home from the time they learn how to walk.

(It's weird that I have this reaction as my dream - my dream!!! - was to be a parasitologist. I still love reading up on that topic, it's just that this is in my HOUSE not a lab or out in the field.)

It's going to be 70 degrees today. o_0 It'll drop to the upper 40s next week, because weather here is kooky like that. (I will be watching Jersey Shore later this morning, OH MY GOD I DON'T WANT IT TO BE OVER. *cries* Ahahaha.)

[ETA] I just got a phone call from my sister, the one who has non-verbal autism. She said [in her way] that she is excited to come be with me and the kids for the week. She also said, "I love you, Laura." Like, all four words. I'm grinning from ear to ear, and there might be some tears involved, but I won't admit anything. <3 :) <3


( 40 comments — Leave a comment )
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Jan. 22nd, 2010 03:16 pm (UTC)
This terrible plight happens to girls, too. I'm just sayin'. It is, gross, though.

It's been all sunny and warm and bright this week. It's a lovely change.
Jan. 22nd, 2010 03:23 pm (UTC)
But it never happened to MEEEEEE. Or my sisters, etc. I am just having a... strong reaction to the fungus among us. :D

Hasn't it been nice? It's supposed to get wicked windy later, so I want to get out before then.
Jan. 22nd, 2010 03:23 pm (UTC)
Oh that essay had much that was familiar -- I was a sweet little church going Regular Baptist (except for my fondness for telling dirty jokes) who agonized over using the word "hell" in a piece of fiction. ::wipes away fond, nostalgic tear:: New York City and a friend (later boyfriend) who was freakin' brilliant and had the world's trashiest but funniest mouth took care of that.

You fuckin know what I mean.
Jan. 22nd, 2010 03:24 pm (UTC)
Hahahaha, isn't that hilarious how guilty you could let yourself feel for swearing? I would get nervous singing hymns that had the word "Hell" or "God" in them for that fear. HYMNS.

I totally fuckin' get what you're sayin'.
Jan. 22nd, 2010 03:44 pm (UTC)
I have crazy skin and if there is even a HINT of tinea I catch it. urgh.

If the tinactin doesn't work, try lotrimin (stronger) or lamisil (strongest). I once had to go on oral lamisil for six weeks. OMG. sorry, just here for the over sharing. :P

though, here it says tinactin is best! hm, will have to try that next time.

probably flipflops are better than over the foot shower shoes... whatever keeps the foot up off the floor, yet dries quickly. :)

best wishes!
Jan. 22nd, 2010 03:47 pm (UTC)
Lotrimin was going to be my next level of "go to" if the tinactin didn't work, so that's good to hear it recced!

Oh, "shower shoes" here means those thin little flip flops, not to sock-style swim thingies, so we're good on that. :D
Jan. 22nd, 2010 03:50 pm (UTC)
So your son is a fungi to be with!

*sneaks away covering tracks with foot powder*
Jan. 22nd, 2010 04:08 pm (UTC)
AHAHAHAHA, I'm totally spraying everything with Lysol, believe me!

*sprays this post*
Jan. 22nd, 2010 03:50 pm (UTC)
Great blog-- I'm so proud, my hot-slitted jizz toaster with a big sexy brain. wipes tear

As to the rest of it. . . shudder.

Jan. 22nd, 2010 04:09 pm (UTC)

And you left just in time!!! BOYS ARE SO GRODY. But then, you deal with soft serve... ;) (And check out my ETA. <3)
... - marenfic - Jan. 22nd, 2010 04:31 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Jan. 22nd, 2010 04:34 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
Jan. 22nd, 2010 04:21 pm (UTC)
Your beautiful, clean, lovely boy will be stuffing toads and muddy rocks in his pockets in no time, I'm afraid to say. Geh. They are just filth magnets. (Although Emily is such a tomboy that she's no better, lol.)

Jan. 22nd, 2010 04:11 pm (UTC)
There was a Jersey Shore marathon yesterday - guess what I did all afternoon? Well, I pulled some dandelions to feel virtuous, but for three hours I pretty much watched those girls and guys drink and yell and get in fights. They are fucking hilarious. I don't miss the intrinsic drama of being in your twenties.

The article rocked. It was smart and funny, just like you! This made me grin and nod my head in agreement: I like it when people can slip in some clever or just truly sick words into something. Everything is so PC, so calculated in the media these days, it’s just delightful to find some truly rank shit out there.
Jan. 22nd, 2010 04:22 pm (UTC)
Isn't that the funniest thing!? I love that show, and I swear, they exist to drink, dance and fight. It's a thing of beauty.

And hahaha, thank you for the complement on the redonk that is my love of swearing, hee!
Jan. 22nd, 2010 04:34 pm (UTC)

Ahem. That is, I'm sure with preventative measures everything will be fine.

Jan. 22nd, 2010 04:50 pm (UTC)
BOYS ARE GROSS AND HAVE COOTIES AND I HAVE PROOF!!! (And part of me wants to email the coaches and tell them to fire-bomb the locker room, because HE DIDN'T GET IT AT HOME.)
Jan. 22nd, 2010 04:43 pm (UTC)
My dad wore shower shoes about every day of his life. For the life of me, i don't remember him having really icky feet. I think it was paranoia of infecting us all left over from his time in the Navy when, apparently, they had one guy in the tiny little bunks who didn't shower to the point of leaving black streaks from his feet down the sheets, so they all jumped him and forced him under a hose and scrubbed him down, heh.

Apparently it doesn't survive long/at all on clean carpet, so you're probably safe from everybody getting it 'cause he's been barefoot all over or something.... But, yeah, boys/locker rooms/ick. Though the school or wherever should be using fungi-killing cleaning stuff and all the boys should have shower shoes...i wonder if they know the locker room is contaminated?
Jan. 22nd, 2010 04:51 pm (UTC)
I was just telling Entrenous that I might email the coaches and tell them that the locker room is disgusting, apparently, because this kid didn't get it at home, I have to say. BLECH.
... - tabaqui - Jan. 22nd, 2010 05:02 pm (UTC) - Expand
Jan. 22nd, 2010 06:14 pm (UTC)
This is the age when my beauteous elder child came home with not only atheletes foot but also plantar warts from the brand-new shiney YWCA, after years of no problems at the scuzzy North Thurston Public Schools three pools.

It was not my favorite part of motherhood, but has lately been overtaken in the Not My Favorite Thing sweepstakes by not knowing if he's actually living here or with his girlfriend (we have broadband; so far that's the overwheening consideration).

Julia, the girl'sa Buffy fan, though, and an ex member of FFA, so it could be worse...
Jan. 22nd, 2010 06:24 pm (UTC)
WARTS OH MY GOD I WOULD FREAK. I know they're not a big deal, but I had a... warty cousin. He traumatized me.

I have sprayed down the boy, disinfected him and his bed clothes and am wondering if I can teach him to walk on his hands...
... - rilee16 - Jan. 23rd, 2010 06:16 am (UTC) - Expand
Jan. 22nd, 2010 06:35 pm (UTC)
I know, it's pretty dang common, and it's not like he has lice (glah - I would burn my house down)

Girls have long hair. They bring home lice. Even from fancy private schools. And when they are six and have them you have to sit them in the bath and douse them with
and comb their hair and the revolting things fall out and
at you. And then you get to do it for yourself. ::dry heaves::

Boys are smelly, but lice are worse.

Jan. 22nd, 2010 06:43 pm (UTC)
If you only knew how many times we came home with lice as little girls... (We lived in a neighborhood with a lot of migrant workers, and that was the unfortunate result.) That's why I'd burn the house down, lol, I remember the agony of my parents picking through every single strand of our thick, long hair. :(
Jan. 22nd, 2010 07:22 pm (UTC)
I raised a girl by myself for 15 years. Got remarried when she was 16. Was I ever in shock! Boys are not only gross, they stay gross! Of course, I married a Gamer Geek,...

The girl kept bringing home lice when she was in kindergarten. The first time, I fareeked!! Got the cats professionally groomed, bagged all her toys and gassed 'em, fumigated the house and of course, poisoned the kid. 4 weeks later, she has it again. Rinse, repeat,... And then, 4 weeks later,.... I was pissed!!! And not only pissed, but a poor single parent, and food stamps don't pay for Rid,.... So I called the school to see what was going on. And got a snotty comment about my dirty kid!!! I fucking lost it, went off on the lady, filled her in on what I was doing, then asked her who the girl was seated next to. I got a quiet, "..., Oh,.... Uh,.... insertkid'snamehere,... She's out with lice too,..." YA THINK??!!???!!!! Turns out Jax's kindergarten partner was an immigrant from a third world continent who couldn't speak English, and Jax was the top student (in kindergarten? What, she knew more colors?) so they had been paired together. I asked that they be separated as I couldn't afford to poison my child every 4 weeks.

Jax also started blow drying her hair, and putting mousse in it.

No more lice!!
Jan. 22nd, 2010 10:01 pm (UTC)
Man, I've got three little sisters. I don't know how many times I've had lice personally (for a few years when we were *all* that perfect elementary-school-age, pretty much one of us was gonna get 'em every year). But we've gone through the whole bagging up of toys, laundering of clothes and bedding, and going through the hair with a nit comb and fancy shampoo. My mom's favorite solution after that was hot-combing or flat-ironing our hair and then applying hair grease.

I think the insistence of a lot of public schools on a shared coat cubby was a big part of the lice epidemic. I've never associated lice with race, though; is it a lack-of-funds-for-treatment/cultural acceptability thing?? I'm asking because my family is mixed black/Hispanic/N.Am. so the only one of us who mostly avoided lice was my sister with the extra thick and kinky hair, but we got rid of them just fine. It was just whenever someone's school had an outbreak, we all had hair down to the middle of our backs, so someone was bringing the suckers home and infesting the rest of us. I mostly noticed that the girls with straight non-greasy hair got a lot of lice, but that could have to do with hair products making an inhospitable environment, or smothering.

Also! One time during lice screenings me and four other girls were sitting at the "quarantine" table waiting for our parents, and my mom called us "The Lice Girls." It was the '90s. She thought it was hilarious. I was scandalized, but it's a lot funnier now than then.
Jan. 22nd, 2010 10:27 pm (UTC)
She also said, "I love you, Laura." Like, all four words.

*bursts into tears*

Jan. 24th, 2010 03:10 pm (UTC)
We've had some fun - she told me last night, "good dinner" and patted her belly. LOL! (It's funnier when you know that my s-mom is a HORRIBLE cook. I don't know that I've heard her ever say that before. Ahahaha!)
(Deleted comment)
Jan. 24th, 2010 03:11 pm (UTC)
How hard is it to wear shoes?!

She is - she's drawing a picture of Pinocchio on the computer that is ridiculously amazing. On MS PAINT. I'll save it and share, she has been drawing this well since she was 3.
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Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

Time Wot It Is

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