Laura Stone (stoney321) wrote,
Laura Stone

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Story Slam, roses, SouthLAnd season finale

Well, I'm perpetually a bridesmaid, it seems. Came in second AGAIN. (I'm actually okay with that, because I get to keep competing. Once you win, you're out until the end of the year for the finals.) The waitress turned off the club owner's camera right before I performed, too, so no video. I have a great story (people kept coming up to me afterward and commiserated with me, lol) so I wrote it up under the cut for you. :)

The time is my senior year of high school, 1990. I had been driving a car on loan from my father all year, and as the year wrapped up, I saved up and bought myself my first car. My sister's boyfriend at the time had an elderly aunt that wanted to get rid of her old car. She'd literally kept it parked in a garage for over 20 years and just didn't want the hassle anymore, so she sold it to me for $400 to take it off her hands.

Now, while you might think that a car for that price was a junker, but it turned out to be a 1964 Buick Special with the racing kit, racing pedal - which means it was weighted to help with some oomph - and had the racing steering wheel. It also had a cast iron 300 cubic inch V8. A V8. you know when Chewie hot wired the Falcon's hyper drive, and Han finally punched it and they all lurched in their seats as everything whoooooooshed! past them? That's how it felt when you punched it in my car.

Now, because it had been parked in a garage for 20+ years, it needed some work. The interior was mouldy and needed new carpet, and the engine was gummed up from not being regularly driven. I wanted to learn how to rebuild a car, so it was perfect. I took every single piece of engine out of that car and polished it, tweaked, tightened, replaced gaskets, gapped the spark plugs, it was awesome. At the time I worked at a auto place so all of the mechanics loved my car and in exchange for letting them drive it at lunch time, they'd show me how to fix my own clutch, replace the timing chain, etc.

I had everything tip top on it with one exception, the spindle that held the air filter was cracked and needed replacing, so I had to wait for that to come mail order. There was a cute guy that started working at my job and he wanted to come over and help me replace the spindle and ogle my car, and I hoped for some make outs after. Ha. In order to get to the air filter, you literally had to take the engine apart. The engine sat inside the huge hooptie that was my car on two steel straps that ran from one side the the other in the middle. There was a strap that bolted over the top to hold it all in. So I took off the top strap, removed the alternator, the sparks, half of the radiator, etc. just to get to the spindle. I replaced that and let him put it all back, because he was really wanting to get his hands on it.

I guess I was too busy checking out his butt, or something, because I wasn't paying attention to what he was doing in there. We hung out for the night, he left and the next morning I had to drive to Arlington. I'm on 30 [local highway] and my car is wobbling a bit. Weird. I chalk it up to the highway, because y'all remember how crappy that road used to be. I need to pass some guy in front of me, so I punch it. Normally I have the Star Wars wooshing, but not this time. The whole car starts to jump and bounce. My hood is shaking like nothing, and I honestly thought the latch that holds the hood down had broken off, and now the hood is going to fly off and decapitate me, take out everyone on the highway and oh my god, what is happening?!

I hear the most horrible metallic crunch and squeal and the whole car bounces and shakes and I look in my rear view mirror and see sparks and shit flying out behind me.

MY ENGINE. IT HAS JUST FALLEN OUT OF MY CAR. He didn't bolt it down to the bottom straps, nor did he affix the top strap, so the whole engine has wobbled itself free and fallen out of the cavern that was the front of this huge car, ripping up the oil case and everything else. I try to get off the road and see the cloverleaf exit up to Six Flags and use that to slow myself down, because the brakes sure as hell aren't working because MY ENGINE HAS JUST FALLEN OUT OF MY CAR. I pull onto the grass and roll to a stop.

The whole thing is totalled. The frame is bent out of whack, the underside is ripped up, and I sit there and cry as a tow truck pulls away my sweet Betty. My formerly pristine white Buick hooptie with baby blue interior. I have to sell it for scrap.

Never think that just because someone is a guy, they know what the hell they're doing with a car. And I only let people with certification touch my cars, now.

[For those who don't know what they look like, here's a picture. *cries*]

And for those keeping up, my buddy Steve was there and is still doing well, so that was good to see. (He did try to get into a political fight with me, however, so I didn't want to listen to his pro-Palin, Glenn Beck is awesome BS, and hung out with a few other people that night. Fine by me. *g*)

The first rose of the season bloomed yesterday and it's GORGEOUS. I put it in a few weeks ago, "Julia Child" yellow rose, and it's just bee-you-tee-full. Big pic under the cut.

GAH. All of the other roses are covered with buds, so it's going to be a great show in another week.

Who watched SouthLAnd last night!?!??! I hate that the season is over, because that was the NUMBER ONE REASON why I love that show, that ep.

OKAY. Can we talk about Chickie being a bad ass? And can we talk about how awesome it is that she's named CHICKIE? And is a frail looking blonde woman who chased down and beat up a rapist? HELL YEAH. And it didn't feel like fan service, it didn't come off as implausible, it represented that rage that so many of us women have for men that use their physicality to overpower women.

She was tousling with him on the ground, and it really felt like it could go both ways, didn't it? "I'M THE COP. I'm the cop." I cheered, I couldn't help it. Love that she got mad enough about John saying she's done as a street cop, and her admiration for Ben wanting to get this rapist because of his mother,a nd man, that just fleshes out his story of a 10 year old with his teeth knocked out because of a home invasion, huh?

OH JOHN. Using people to get what he needs, but not letting people use him.

I continue to have a crush on Regina King, because she's just a good cop. So focused on her job she forgets all sorts of things in her life, like her former partner. Lol. Last night I talked with one of my story slam buds about this show, and he caught on that she is the typical guy cop, eating donuts in her car, hyper focused on work to the detriment of a personal life, and she probably shits in her car, lol. She's that crusty old cop that's "Getting too old for this shit," as they check their side arm and rush into the fray. Well, she's not at that stage yet, but that's where she's headed. I love it. But she's still a woman with her empathy, her overwhelming concern for victims... What a rich character.

Hey, if you talk about the show in comments (and I encourage you to!) put "SPOILERS" in the subject line to help people navigate. I'm hoping that I can get more peeps to watch this show.

Hump day! The wind has died down a touch, so I'm going to plant a peony that I shouldn't have bought. I just... I WANT THEM. Regardless of me living in Texas where they don't do well. Sigh.

Oh, ETA: is anyone else having issues with this newest build of Firefox? Holy crap, it's just dragging in every way. Feh.
Tags: picspam!, southland, stoney doesn't suck, story slam
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