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Guys, seriously. Seriously. Fer serios.

I know this isn't popular, and I'm sure to make some eyes roll (at the very least) but I really need to get this off my chest:

I believe without a doubt that the devil played that fiddle better than Johnny, who, let's face it, relied on corny phrases and yee-haw chords to win a contest that was clearly rigged from the start.

Let the defriending begin.

(I MEAN COME ON, IT MADE AN EVIL HISS AND FIRE FLEW FROM HIS FINGERTIPS AS HE RESINED UP HIS BOW. He hadn't even started playing that golden fiddle yet and fire was all shooting out in anticipation of some Lucifer hoe-down. And I'm sorry, but chickens in the bread pans picking out dough is disgusting. Hadn't Granny heard of salmonella? RIGGED CONTEST.)

Last, the most ridiculous question I've seen today: "What can I do with leftover wine?" LOL!! OMG, there's no such thing as leftover wine, whaaaaaat?

this post brought to you by the general feeling that a little levity would do some good, zomg

Comments

( 70 comments — Leave a comment )
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dampersnspoons
May. 10th, 2010 06:53 pm (UTC)
Fire on the mountain, run boys, run! *Squeedledeedledeedle-deedledeedle-deedledee*
The Devil's in the House of the Rising Sun *Squeedledee-squeedledee-deedledeedee!*
Chicken in the bread pan pickin' at dough
Granny does your dog bite? No child, no!

*squeedle-deedle-deedledeedle Squeedle-deedle-etcX10*
stoney321
May. 10th, 2010 06:57 pm (UTC)
SEE WHAT I MEAN? That can't compare to the avant guarde stringin' Old Scratch laid down.

*dances a jig* You meeeeeeeeeeet another and PBBLT! you were gone.
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
May. 10th, 2010 06:58 pm (UTC)
SEE THIS. THIS IS WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT. JOHNNY IS BALLS ON THE FIDDLE. BAAAAAAAAAALLS!
turnonmyheels
May. 10th, 2010 06:58 pm (UTC)
Anything that sounds something like

dun dun dundedun duhdundundun doodoodooodoodoodoodoodoodoodoodoododooododoodo

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv boht both both SWWWWIIIIIIIII



Sounds so much better than askin' anybody's Granny *anything* that it's pointless to compare.

Something tells me that after the Devil heard Johnny's song, he didn't bow his head because he'd been beat, but because he realized Johnny didn't have any soul to steal.
stoney321
May. 10th, 2010 06:59 pm (UTC)
OH SNAP!!!!!!! BEST COMEBACK EVER IN THE HISTORY OF SPEAKING, B.
... - turnonmyheels - May. 10th, 2010 07:00 pm (UTC) - Expand
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(Deleted comment)
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menomegirl
May. 10th, 2010 07:07 pm (UTC)
Hahahahahaha.

I ♥ you
stoney321
May. 10th, 2010 07:13 pm (UTC)
*jumps up on that hickory stump to show you what I got!*
... - luvxander - May. 10th, 2010 07:39 pm (UTC) - Expand
minim_calibre
May. 10th, 2010 07:15 pm (UTC)
I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH THIS STATEMENT AND HAVE FOR OVER 20 YEARS.
stoney321
May. 10th, 2010 07:23 pm (UTC)
THIS IS WHY YOU ARE SO SMART.
minstrel666
May. 10th, 2010 07:24 pm (UTC)
So... the devil is Nigel Kennedy?
stoney321
May. 10th, 2010 07:52 pm (UTC)
I... huh?
... - ruric - May. 10th, 2010 07:58 pm (UTC) - Expand
mumsisdaughter
May. 10th, 2010 07:29 pm (UTC)
Danse Macabre ftw! Anyway, I've got no idea what the contest was, rigged or not. Some sort of America's Got Talent? Simon Cowell involved? I think I've neglected to leave any left-over wine.

What I meant to say is I love the 'quixotic hamster in a helmet'.

Levity is good. I want enough to help me float away.
stoney321
May. 10th, 2010 07:52 pm (UTC)
The Devil Went Down To Georgia, that iconic country song!
... - killiara - May. 10th, 2010 09:36 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
May. 10th, 2010 07:53 pm (UTC)
NO finesse, NO artistry, just some jangly chord sawing!
huzzlewhat
May. 10th, 2010 07:37 pm (UTC)
I believe without a doubt that the devil played that fiddle better than Johnny, who, let's face it, relied on corny phrases and yee-haw chords to win a contest that was clearly rigged from the start.

Oh, I agree. A thousand times agree. I don't remember the first time I heard that song, but I do remember being so surprised at how it ended. I honestly expected Johnny to get dragged down to hell, because it was so clear to me that the devil won the contest. :-)

"What can I do with leftover wine?"

These words make no sense to me.
stoney321
May. 10th, 2010 07:53 pm (UTC)
LEFTOVER WINE. WHAT IS THAT? Is that like imaginary numbers or something!?
... - nwhepcat - May. 10th, 2010 11:20 pm (UTC) - Expand
soberloki
May. 10th, 2010 07:37 pm (UTC)
LMFAO... you rock, bay-buh.
stoney321
May. 10th, 2010 07:54 pm (UTC)
But we both know the Devil would kick the PANTS off me in a fiddlin' contest. But then, WOULD I EVEN BE WEARING PANTS?
... - soberloki - May. 11th, 2010 02:14 am (UTC) - Expand
estrella30
May. 10th, 2010 07:38 pm (UTC)
HAHA, my sister in law gave me some kind of fancy ass wine stopper for mothers day yesterday and she says "it's so, you know, it'll look PRETTY when you save the leftover wine!" and without even thinking about it I said "Oh, sure, I usually have at least a LITTLE left in the second bottle!"

aaaaaaaaand then all of my inlaws judged me. WHOOPS!
stoney321
May. 10th, 2010 07:55 pm (UTC)
WHATEVER, THEY ARE WEIRDOS. There is no such thing as leftover wine, only wine I'm about to drink.

(And really, am I the only one that can get the original cork back in? Or am I some kind of tacky asshole for doing that? Is it because I picked my nose with the cork first? You can tell me.)
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copykween
May. 10th, 2010 07:39 pm (UTC)
Totally rigged. Or voted on by American Idol viewers. Which is kind of the same thing....

Huh. Leftover wine? I'm not familiar with this mythical occurrence.
stoney321
May. 10th, 2010 07:55 pm (UTC)
I know - it's like a flying unicorn! WHAAAAAT?
luvxander
May. 10th, 2010 07:43 pm (UTC)
IT WAS RIGGED AND I HAVE PROOF!!! There was a tiny tape recorder hidden in Johnny's "golden" fiddle and he was fiddle-syncing the entire time. How else could there have still been music when he was speaking? Did he have a back up band? NO, he did not! Explain that one, Mr. Cochran!

Also, I googled, there's no such thing as "leftover wine".
stoney321
May. 10th, 2010 07:56 pm (UTC)
Oh, well then it's settled! Nothing on google means IT DOES NOT EXIST.
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silmaril
May. 10th, 2010 07:54 pm (UTC)
Yup. This, pretty much.
stoney321
May. 10th, 2010 07:56 pm (UTC)
Double true.
... - silmaril - May. 10th, 2010 08:52 pm (UTC) - Expand
a_mistletoe
May. 10th, 2010 08:06 pm (UTC)
Have the Muppets done a version of this? I'm sure it would provide definitive proof that the Devil was a clear winner and Johnny's granny put something in the dough to nobble him. Hence the chicken interest. The Muppet chickens would have pecked her, not the breadpan, thus giving victory to the Devil!!! I may have been drinking leftover wine (definition: wine that was not in the first glass.)
stoney321
May. 10th, 2010 08:09 pm (UTC)
I feel pretty positive there was a Muppets version of this song, but it most likely ended with Fozzie tripping over the devil, knocking Miss Piggy in Robin who freaked out and Gonzo ran in with a bunch of chickens.
... - a_mistletoe - May. 10th, 2010 08:13 pm (UTC) - Expand
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