Laura Stone (stoney321) wrote,
Laura Stone
stoney321

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fun time poll [about Mormon teachings] for your midweek buzzuh

It'll make sense in a minute. So, in doing rewrites, I'm punching up a little section about how Mormons aren't really Christians and why (because of how they view Christ as their literal brother and how any good Mormon can become a god, God was once a Mormon guy on another planet, etc. etc.) and remembered a story of when I learned in church how Jesus... came about. Ahem. Poll time!

Poll #1614124 How Jesus was "made:" Eh or Bat-scheisse Crazy?

On a scale of 1 being "eh, not so much" to 10 as "WAIT, WHAT? NO, WHAT?! ....WHAT?" rate the concept that LDS teaches that God showed up and had physical sex with Mary - like, climbed on her, thrust, orgasmed, magical God-sperm to Mary-egg happenings.

Mean: 8.57 Median: 10 Std. Dev 2.62
1
13(7.5%)
2
1(0.6%)
3
2(1.1%)
4
1(0.6%)
5
5(2.9%)
6
2(1.1%)
7
5(2.9%)
8
18(10.3%)
9
19(10.9%)
10
108(62.1%)

Stoney, you just:

blew my mind.
72(26.0%)
made me blow chunks.
42(15.2%)
offended me greatly, how dare you?
6(2.2%)
keep pulling me back in.
58(20.9%)
can't startle me like that.
48(17.3%)
told me something I believe in deeply.
2(0.7%)
told me something I've known for years.
17(6.1%)
get your ass back in your kitchen and get some lunch.
32(11.6%)


So! This'll be fun to find out about. I remember it being VERY WEIRD that this old man was telling us all this story on the traditional "Christmas story" day of church. I was freaked out. Then he started crying, and honestly, that freaked me out more, how "beautiful" it was that this virgin was consummating her love of her god in such a way.

HOW ABOUT GOD JUST CRACKS HIS HEAD OPEN LIKE ZEUS DID THAT ONE TIME? A lot less trouble, imo. Boy Kitteh (Smudge) is perched on my shoulder awaiting your reply.

[ETA] Oh, and as always, please feel free to comment with why you voted the way you did, etc. etc. Discussion is the word of the day today!
Tags: mormons, poll!, wtf no seriously wtf?
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