It'll make sense in a minute. So, in doing rewrites, I'm punching up a little section about how Mormons aren't really Christians and why (because of how they view Christ as their literal brother and how any good Mormon can become a god, God was once a Mormon guy on another planet, etc. etc.) and remembered a story of when I learned in church how Jesus... came about. Ahem. Poll time!
So! This'll be fun to find out about. I remember it being VERY WEIRD that this old man was telling us all this story on the traditional "Christmas story" day of church. I was freaked out. Then he started crying, and honestly, that freaked me out more, how "beautiful" it was that this virgin was consummating her love of her god in such a way.
HOW ABOUT GOD JUST CRACKS HIS HEAD OPEN LIKE ZEUS DID THAT ONE TIME? A lot less trouble, imo. Boy Kitteh (Smudge) is perched on my shoulder awaiting your reply.
[ETA] Oh, and as always, please feel free to comment with why you voted the way you did, etc. etc. Discussion is the word of the day today!
On a scale of 1 being "eh, not so much" to 10 as "WAIT, WHAT? NO, WHAT?! ....WHAT?" rate the concept that LDS teaches that God showed up and had physical sex with Mary - like, climbed on her, thrust, orgasmed, magical God-sperm to Mary-egg happenings.
Mean: 8.57 Median: 10 Std. Dev 2.62
1
13(7.5%)
2
1(0.6%)
3
2(1.1%)
4
1(0.6%)
5
5(2.9%)
6
2(1.1%)
7
5(2.9%)
8
18(10.3%)
9
19(10.9%)
10
108(62.1%)
Stoney, you just:
blew my mind.
72(26.0%)
made me blow chunks.
42(15.2%)
offended me greatly, how dare you?
6(2.2%)
keep pulling me back in.
58(20.9%)
can't startle me like that.
48(17.3%)
told me something I believe in deeply.
2(0.7%)
told me something I've known for years.
17(6.1%)
get your ass back in your kitchen and get some lunch.
32(11.6%)
So! This'll be fun to find out about. I remember it being VERY WEIRD that this old man was telling us all this story on the traditional "Christmas story" day of church. I was freaked out. Then he started crying, and honestly, that freaked me out more, how "beautiful" it was that this virgin was consummating her love of her god in such a way.
HOW ABOUT GOD JUST CRACKS HIS HEAD OPEN LIKE ZEUS DID THAT ONE TIME? A lot less trouble, imo. Boy Kitteh (Smudge) is perched on my shoulder awaiting your reply.
[ETA] Oh, and as always, please feel free to comment with why you voted the way you did, etc. etc. Discussion is the word of the day today!
- Spock is::
confused
'Oos dis bint, then?
stoney321- Laura Stone
- Hey, Don't Judge Me
Comments
Thanks for participating!
o0
What?
Yeah, no matter how you look at it, Mary gets the raw end of the deal.
It's pretty crappy as a religious position, though, tbh.
There are some very funny medieval plays (well, at least one, I think it's part of the York mystery cycle) which have Joseph finding out Mary's pregnant and being distinctly disbelieving at the whole 'son of god, miraculous child, virgin birth' thing. Which doesn't mean they were not believers, but at least allows space for the buzzuh moment...
Ew. And wow. The whole godlike complex that's possible for men in that faith. Yikes.
And the whole thing about Christ visiting the Native Americans, that I swear I saw in some film when I was four (I wish the hell could remember where, or why) is Mormon doctrine too, right?
Godlike complex - when they think they literally will BE gods, does it get called something beyond a complex?
That is! And you probably watched The Godmakers. Was it animated? (It's on YouTube.)
...WOW.
And yes, she's still a Virgin because God Peen doesn't split the hymen and taint the area. WHAT.
LUNCH! I think I'll make a grilled roast beef and provolone sammich. Or some pad thai noodles. FOOOOOD.
I WAS INTERESTED IN SAMMICHES ALWAYS. Describe the components of this miracle of foodstuffs, yea verily!
Now, Mormonism has brought me some weird shit, but this is like pagan belief weird shit! I'M pagan and I don't even buy this crap! Whaaaaaaaat?! Grown up people who know how to dress themselves and go to the bathroom like civilized humans believe this?! HOW?
OH WAIT MIRACLE NEVERMIND.
On the other hand, the tiny part of me that's still Catholic despite the gross lapse on my part, read this: LDS teaches that God showed up and had physical sex with Mary - like, climbed on her, thrust, orgasmed, magical God-sperm to Mary-egg happenings. and freaked right the fuck out.
They actually teach that?
Dude. That's fucked up.
AND YEAH - YOUR CATHOLIC RESPONSE IS THE RIGHT ONE, REGARDLESS. Yep, that's taught. But in less "aww, yeah, baby! *toe suck*" language. It's all Victorian and flowery and shit.
I bet there'd be a heck of a lot more Evangelical Mormon-bashing if these stories were more widely circulated.
I like the Zeus/Athena shoutout. :)
Hahaha, THANK YOU.
Do Mormons realize that they're not monotheists by the standards of other Christians? Much less by the standards of Jews and Muslims, who don't consider most Christians to be monotheists -- that Trinity business is right out.
They believe they're along the line of Protestants, but more pure since they didn't break off from the Catholic Church, but skipped from the time of the Apostles to the time of Joseph Smith. ....no, really.
Gee, and here I thought that the Judeo-Christian God was supposed to be different from pagan ones.
I also recall being taught that Mary had to choose to agree to bear the Savior. I remember a legend I heard (and later read) that said that Mary was NOT the first one that the angel came to. But she was the first to say yes.
There's a thread up top discussing this very thing about Mary choosing, etc.