Laura Stone (stoney321) wrote,
Laura Stone

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W-O-M-A-N. Let me say it again.

Bad news: I apparently drove over a screw this weekend and gained a flat tire in the process.
Worse news: I drive a big ol' SUV and the tires are massive and heavy.
Awesome news: That stuff don't phase me, yo.

So there I am this morning with my can of WD-40, have already performed the laborious task of getting the spare un-winched from the underbelly of my beast, have the jack in position and have sprayed the lug nuts with lubricant after testing them (true fact: air guns are bastards. Plus, they routinely strip lug nuts making changing your own tire nigh on impossible on occasion) and am just waiting for Science to continue to be my friend (translation: letting the lubricant work its way into the threads enough that I can loosen the lug nuts) when my aged neighbor toddles over and tells me he "can't sit by and watch me struggle."

Aww. Except for how he's almost 90, has had TWO heart attacks in as many years, and can barely catch his breath from just huffing down the driveway to my car. Gah. I let him work on them a bit to be polite even though its kinda pissing me off because I ACTUALLY LIKE WORKING ON MY CAR, then after the fourth or fifth time I've said, "But really, I like doing this, and I've done it numerous times, no really," he lets me get to it. I was seriously worried that he was going to drop dead right there. Also, yay chivalry! And BOO, OLD MAN, I GOT THIS SHIT. I'm not being polite and fanning you off, I really CAN DO THINGS.

I get the lug nuts off, am whistling to myself (Like a Boss by The Lonely Island) jack the car the rest of the way up, and start pulling the tire off and HERE HE COMES AGAIN. "Laura, I just can't sit by, I just can't." And he tried to muscle me out of the way, except for how I'm way stronger than him and he almost falls over trying to move the tire into place. I put my hand on his arm, tell him with a firm, but thankful tone, "Bill? I really can do this. I'm not just saying it. I've got it. Thank you very much, but I can get it from here." Not said: please don't drop dead in my driveway, old man.

Got the tire up and on, tightened, car un-jacked, jack/winch unpacked and put back in the car's clever cubby, and get the busted tire in its winch and raised up into the under carriage. I clap my hands once and say, "Aw, hell yeah!" and catch him sneaking back into his driveway. LOL. And GAH. I get that he's trying to be sweet and all, but sometimes, SOMETIMES YOU SHOULD RECOGNIZE THAT PEOPLE REALLY CAN DO WHAT THEY SAY THEY CAN DO.

Things I can do? Fix my car. :)

ION, I made the most ridiculous braised short ribs yesterday. They were lick the plate good. They were lick the walls good in case something splattered on the wall. If you want the recipe, I'll make a separate post. In the meantime, I'm off to the tire shop to see if I can't get it repaired or if I just need to buy a new one. And I'mma do it like a boss.

*lip kiss peace sign*
Tags: stoney doesn't suck
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