Laura Stone (stoney321) wrote,
Laura Stone

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Recipe and a pleh-style whine of DO I REALLY HAVE TO KEEP SAYING THIS?

First the whine - it's up to you to get the cheese. Man, LJ has just been DEAD for a while. Not a lot of posts beyond twitter updates (which I'll just be frank, I'm not following those things. I 'll read twitter ON twitter) not a lot of spazzy fun times, everything seems to be Srs Bznz. There is NO JOY lately. Yeesh, I post a silly poll and I get all sorts of "well, I'm forgetting you're an idiot on LJ, Stoney, and I'm treating this like academia and will pick apart minutiae about the word "is" and your intended use of said word and GAH. Stop it. This is not that place, y'all, what have you confused me with?! I AM ONLY A FOOL WITH A KEYBOARD. Every now and again I'll do something serious or the like, but this is typically not a place to be taken seriously. (Um, the religion poll was to see if everyone else had a crappy dad that always put their religion before their kid, IT WAS NOT A CONSPIRACY TO CONFUSE.) Hello, I'm self-centered, did you forget? Ahahaha. Ahem.

Also: negativity is ABHORRED here. If you're a glass half-empty type, I don't have much in common with you. There is one exception to this rule, and it's because she is negative in a FUNNY WAY and Liz, I know you are expecting your name here. Lol. Guys, if you added me to your reading list in error, PLEASE TAKE ME OFF FOR YOUR OWN SANITY. I will not be offended, I will not hunt you down and demand you friend me or whatever. It's the INTERNET. And my little corner of the internet is just that: my place to post my opinions on things (and hey! They might differ from yours!) make jokes, laugh at myself, get excited about things, and generally act like an idiot. This is not a community LJ, this is MY LJ. <-- sometimes I think people forget that.

I don't demand that everyone be hilariously genius or something, just don't bitch about what I'm posting on, don't shoot down the happy (like, you shouldn't do that ANYWHERE, nevermind my LJ) don't find fault in me or others and just LIGHTEN UP. Jeeeeeez. I have to do this, like, once a year it seems.

If you are not Whiney McGee of the Feh People, then the previous PSA has nothing to do with you, carry on BEING AWESOME. [Look, Gary's gonna do what Gary WANTS to do.]


How's that for a dark intro? WHEE! This is the second time I've made this tweaked version, and it's officially my favorite. I took things I liked from a few different recipes and made this one. Start the whole process about 18 hours before you're going to eat them due to the marinade. Cooking time is about 4 hours.

Rhone-Soaked Beef Short Ribs (I used 10, so adjust measurements accordingly)

For the Marinade
1 whole bottle of Rhone red - something good but not expensive (obv.) I used a decent bottle that was 10 bucks.
1 large onion, quartered
4 cloves of garlic, smushed with your knife
10 Beef short ribs (rinsed, but you always rinse your meat, right? RIGHT?)
2 Bay leafs
handful of thyme sprigs (I used a generous handful - I love thyme)
Opt.: can add peppercorns, but check your wine to see if it has a pepper note, omit if so

Put everything but the meat in a pan, bring to a simmer, cool, put everything (including the meat) in a container for soaking. I prefer a big ziplock bag so I can flip everything around and get that flavor on all parts.

For the Meat Browning
Flour for coating
salt, pepper
big Dutch oven/enameled baking dish - large enough for all of the meat to be in a single layer (I have a 7qt. LeCruset that I use, but a roasting pan could work - it needs a covering.)
6 pieces of bacon
2 C. beef broth

Preheat the oven to 300F.

Fry up the bacon until very crispy, drain on paper towels. Leave bacon fat in skillet. Remove the meat from the marinade (which you will reuse) and generously salt and pepper all sides. Coat all sides in flour and in small batches, brown all sides in the bacon fat. (Holy yum.) When each piece is browned (about 2 -3 min. per side) remove and place in the dutch oven/roasting dish. When all pieces are finished, drain off the fat but leave the crispy bits. Add the marinade and broth to the skillet and bring to a boil, whisking in the crispy bits to the marinade. Add the bacon from earlier, all nicely crumbled. Well, the bits you didn't eat already. I'll give you permission to crumble in three pieces and eat three pieces, that seems fair.

Pour over the short ribs.

Cover and put in the oven, set the timer for 3 hours. Go live your life, but only for 3 hours. You may not get your groove back in that time, but you could maybe get a massage, I don't want to judge your life.

For Ze Grand Finale
button mushrooms, as much as you like. I use 1 lb. for 10 short ribs.
a baking sheet lined with foil, additional foil to cover.

After 3 hours, the meat should be falling off the bone. Pull the dish from the oven, turn off the oven, but leave the door cracked. Remove with tongs the ribs (carefully! That meat really wants to slide off the bone) and put on the sheet. Sprinkle the mushrooms over the top, cover with the foil, and slip back into the TURNED OFF OVEN for the next step. The steam will rest the meat and cook the 'shrooms, you see.

Put your baking dish with the marinade over medium to medium high heat and bring the sauce to a boil. Scrape the bottom with a spatula or whisk to incorporate the crispy bits into the sauce. Reduce by almost 2/3 so that it's thick, almost to the point of being syrupy. Taste to see if it needs any more salt and pepper. Probably not.

Remove the ribs and mushrooms to a serving platter (or hey, right on your baking sheet, if you a) have one with sides and b) hate dishes) and pour the thick, deeply colored, highly aromatic sauce over them and serve.

OH MY GOD THIS IS SO DELICIOUS. And even though it's a lot of steps, it's not really difficult, just a little work in the beginning. It's so worth it, though.

Okay, I have to get my voice all peppy for an audition (voice over) and finish cleaning the back part of the house. Yesterday I LITERALLY scrubbed the master bath down with a toothbrush. It was just... Well, the Mr. was home for a month and it got nasty. He's used to living in hotels during the week, you see. >:( Also, I have a system for watching Hoarders, and that's a part of it. I HAVE ISSUES, I HAVE NEVER DENIED THIS Lol.

OH! Last bit and I'll shut my yap, I am finally getting started on my Halloween costume this year (new folks - um, I get a little carried away) and it's going to be AMAZING. If you are horror/gore averse, don't google this. NO, REALLY. I'm going as The Woman [the deformed geisha] from Masters of Horror: Imprint. My buddy the sculptor is going to help me make... Little Sister. WHEE!! Nightmare is coming to my block this year, wheedle deedle dee!
Tags: holidays, recipes, stoney sucks, wtf no seriously wtf?

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