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I am in the depths of the teen years now. I don't know how I'm going to make it until they are out of my house and safely in college/military school/prison. Any are options at this point. I'm constantly on the lookout for eyeballs on the floor because SURELY that level of eye rolling can't be helping those ligaments keep them in the sockets. The Mr. has no clue how to deal with this rash of OH MY GOD YOU ARE SO MEEEEAAAAAN/Get out get out GET OUT! because he grew up in a sterile lab where no one spoke. "Pick your battles" has been a steady conversation in the quiet of our bedroom. That and "is that the hill you want to die on? Put the silverware away? REALLY?"

The biggest issue is that my son has learned to express anger. Which means loads of shouting and "Damn it! I'm sorry I said damn it, but damn it, mom!" and that's usually directed at his little sister, Emily. Emily is entering those horrible girl years, the 8 - 10 year old sneaky snotty stage. Every girl goes through it. Every one of us, even if you think you didn't, you did. It's filled with "I am so wounded by what you're saying to me!" horror-face and then causing people to continue to say those wounding things to you by your sneaky/snotty behavior. When you're the youngest in the house, it's typically the most amplified in you as well.

So. I have come upon what I think is a brilliant solution. When the two of them fight, say they hate each other, try and get the other in trouble, any sort of negative behavior, the opposite child will go into the offender's room, select one precious item to be brought to me. I will then keep said item in a box in my closet until they do something kind for one another. It is going to drive them CRAZY to have their personal space invaded, which will just lead me to saying, "Well, I guess you shouldn't have blah blah, then, huh?"

Or I could ignore them all and drink the next four- five years away, it's pretty iffy most days.

Now for kimono-making pics! Warning: I used a shiny patterned fabric, so it might be difficult to see the detail, but the beautiful thing about kimonos is how straight forward they are. After all, everyone from peasants to the gentry made and wore them for thousands of years, that stuff has been pared down to the most efficient method. On with the show!

[ETA] I cannot for the life of me find the cord that connects my camera to my computer, so I used paintshop to make a picture of the way you need to cut. BOO, housemembers, BOO. Sorry there aren't the step by step shots. Mostly because that took me a long time to do while sewing. Gargh.

As a reminder, I was borrowing the whole concept of my particular costume from a movie about a scarred and demonic ...geisha. She's a prostitute co-opting the geisha look herself, because geishas aren't hookers. Okay, now I feel better for getting that out there.

American patterns suck, so please do yourself a favor and do not buy one. There's really no need for a pattern in the first place, you just need a LARGE surface (if you can get a 72" table, kitchen island, that's the best.) good scissors or the daring to tear your fabric (as long as you don't have satin, more on that later) and something reliable with with to measure, either a tape or large ruler.

6 YARDS (or if you're less than 5' 3" and very slender - no more than 38 inches at your widest you can use 4 yards) of HIGH QUALITY FABRIC. This means NO costume satin. That stuff is the devil, MM'KAY? You will not be able to sew it, I promise you. I've been sewing for over 25 years and that stuff foils me every time. Proper satin is different, but really should only be attempted by someone that knows their stuff. Really. Really really. If you're not sure if you have proper sating vs. costume satin, look at the price. Cheap = costume. Or, squinch it up in your hand. If it feels stiff and immediately wrinkles and stays kinda squinched, that's costume. Real satin will wrinkle, but not as easily and will also attempt to go back to a flat state. It's also much heavier and thicker and of a better quality. names to look for: moire, bridal, heavy weight.)

Fabric choices: silk, obv. and any synthetic silk would be fine, too, dupion silk... IDK, that might be too stiff in my book. Charmeuse would work, too, esp. for a lining like I did. Acrylic fabrics or any other synthetic fabrics that have a light feel to them (aka, nothing stiff.) Cotton is right out, as is linen. Avoid chiffon unless you are crazy good like Christian "Fierce" Siriano with a sewing machine.

Coordinating thread (protip: if you have a pattern, go for the darkest color in your pattern, not the lightest. That will stand out, and in a bad way. Dark will melt into the background.)

A TEFLON SEWING FOOT (if you're using silk or any other "slippery" fabric.) Trust me on this one. They're not expensive, you can get them at Hancock Fabrics, Joann's, etc. You will be so much happier.

SILK PINS (again, trust me.) These are also not expensive and are finer than, say, ball-tipped quilting pins. Once you make a whole in silk, it's there forever, it doesn't go away like in cotton. This way your hole is much smaller. [insert naughty joke, feel shame] You also want to pin very close, almost every inch or so, so get a big pack.

2.25 YARDS OF ANOTHER FABRIC FOR YOUR OBI (if you have a larger waist, you want to get maybe 3 yards. Wrap a tape measure around yourself twice, tie a bow and let it have long ends - a 1 ft. hang. That's how much you need.)



Note: if you want to line your kimono to add a realistic dimension to it - so it doesn't look thin like a costume, but like a proper kimono - get a lining fabric - 4 yards is what you'll need. Follow all of the instructions for cutting the front and back panels, sew them in the same manner, and then - once you've done this for both the outer and lining, put them right sides together, sew at the shoulders first following your original seam then sew the sides together down 10 inches only - don't sew down the whole length, just for the arm hole. Turn it right side out and carefully iron the seam flat. You will have a weird 45 degree angle where you stopped sewing, it will get remedied when you put the sleeves on.

Cutting the Pieces
FIRST: if your fabric is very wide (more than the standard 44" for a bolt - it would probably be 58") you can get away with 4 yards, unless you are very busty/hippy.

  • Measure yourself at your widest
  • divide the width of your fabric in thirds (if it's a 60 inch bolt, that's 20 inches)
  • Add two of the thirds together
  • Is this number larger than the measurement you took by more than 5 inches? GO WITH THE 4 YARDS
  • If it's not, go with 6 and be comfy in your kimono. You can always make it slimmer, but you can't make it wider.

SECOND: I'm going under the assumption that we have 6 yards. If you go the 4 yards option, I'll note the small changes in cutting after the main instructions in italics

  • Measure out 2 yards of fabric. Measure again. Are you extra sure? OK, cut.

  • Repeat (this won't be necessary if you have 4 yards. Just fold in half and cut.)

  • You should now have three pieces of fabric blocks, 2 yards long.

  • Along the length (also known as the selvedge) of your block, fold in half. The length should still be 2 yards. (fold your fabric into thirds. If it's 60" you'll have rectangles that are 2 yards long and 20" wide)

  • Measure twice, cut once. Or cut a notch and tear. It will tear straight, I promise. (cut two times to make your three rectangles, 2 yards long, 20 inches wide)

  • If you have a serger, serge the ends.

  • Take your second block of fabric that is 2 yards long. Repeat the measuring and cutting from before. You should now have 4 rectangles that are 2 yards long and 22 inches wide. (Repeat with the remaining block of fabric - you should now have SIX rectangles that are 2 yards long and 20 inches wide)

  • With this second set of rectangles, lay them out flat, lengthwise, and side by side. At the top of the first rectangle, the narrow end, measure from the inside towards yourself 3 inches. Measure down 10 inches. Make a line between those points. Mirror this with the other piece. Make sure you have them both facing the same way (right side up or down, but both the same) so that the two lines meet down at the 10 inch mark and it will look like a triangle cut out of the top center. Got it right? Now cut on those lines and discard the scrap. This is the FRONT of your kimono. Set aside.

  • Take the third and last block of fabric and also cut this in half (or notch and tear the length.) Take one of those pieces and cut/tear it again into halves. You should now have one piece that is the same as the others you've cut, and two thinner pieces that are the same length. The thinner pieces will be the collar and the gores. (Take two of the remaining pieces of your 6 and follow the same cutting instructions here and below.)

  • With that thicker piece, fold it in half to make it only 1 yard in length. It should remain the same width. Cut this (no tearing, sorry) so you have two big blocks. These are the sleeves. Set aside.

Sewing the pieces: The Back Panel

  • Take the first two pieces you cut and pin them together right sides together. You should be seeing the BACK sides of your fabric (the wrong side.) Sew down the length of your pins.

  • (Note on pinning fabric, for n00bs: pins MUST be perpendicular to the edge you're sewing. This is how you keep your needle from slipping around the pin or breaking.)

  • Iron the seam flat (n00bs: this means laying the fabric down right side down and using your fingers to press open the seam. Go over this with your iron to make it lay flat. This is an ESSENTIAL part of sewing, otherwise things get lumpy and won't hang right.)

  • Lay on you work surface RIGHT SIDE UP.

Sewing the pieces: Attaching the front

  • Take one of your front panels with the neck notch.

  • Lay it RIGHT SIDE DOWN (you will see the back side, then) on the appropriate side of your back panel. Meaning, the notch should be in the center of your work, not the edge.) The outside edges should line up.

  • Pin the SHOULDERS starting from the matching outside corners.

  • Sew together with a 1/2" margin

  • Lay on your ironing board and sew this seam FLAT

  • Repeat with the other panel at the other shoulder

  • This should now look like a floppy vest without sides

  • I recommend putting this on at this point and seeing if you need to reduce the width. IF YOU DO: you need to make sure that several inches (at least 4, preferably 6) hang off the edge of your shoulder. The edge should not be like Westernized clothing, as in, the seams are the same as your shoulder.

  • If you are reducing the width (and I had to, by 4 inches per side, whoops) reduce it from the OUTSIDE EDGES. Make sure you do the exact same amount on both sides. Kimonos are supposed to be wide at the shoulders, but not comically so (like, you wouldn't want it to come half-way down your arm - about 1/4 is just right.)


Sewing the pieces: Making and attaching the sleeves

  • Take your two wide sleeve panels (they should be about 22" wide and 1 yard long, remember?)

  • Fold them in half again so they are now 22" wide and HALF a yard long. Make a mark at the fold on the wrong wide of the fabric.

  • Take the kimono that should be right side out and lay it on your work surface

  • Sandwich over one shoulder ONE sleeve that is wrong side out. (Right sides are touching) The mark you made for the location of the fold should line up with the shoulder seam

  • Pin together, but leave the bottom 4 inches on both front and back pin/sewn free. Kimonos have ventilation flaps at the arm pits. :)

  • Sew the pieces together (making sure you leave that opening at the bottom!)

  • Repeat with the opposite shoulder, remembering your 4 inch no sew zone at the bottom front and bottom back

  • Iron your seams flat, and iron a "hem" for the four inches on the front and back that you didn't sew. I'm picky and sewed that down flat so it looked polished. DON'T SEW THAT DETAIL YET, THOUGH, if you choose to be anal like me

  • You'll notice that you've not sewn all of the sleeve together. That's done next.

Sewing the pieces: Sewing up the sides

  • Lay the kimono right sides together, wrong side out.

  • Match up the outer edges and pin up the sides, leaving yet another 4 inch gap at the base of where you attached the sleeve. Ventilation s key when you're wearing layers of silk, you see.

  • The sleeves should be perfectly matched up after sewing them to the body of the kimono. starting at the bottom inside edge, pin them together along the bottom and up the outside 4 inches - it's a magic number

  • Do this to both sides while it's laying flat

  • Sew a 1/2" seam all along the places you've pinned

  • On the outside bottom edge of the sleeve, trim off the point of the seam making sure you don't cut the stitches

  • Iron the seams flat all along the sewn edges and iron the un sewn material to match

  • Turn right side out and iron again

  • This is where you can take the bottom basket off your sewing machine (to make it narrow) and slip the sleeve over the base and hem the unsewn edges for your hand (end of the sleeve) and ventilation (where it attached)

  • Trim all threads

Sewing the pieces: Making and attaching the gores

  • You have two last strips of fabric, one of which is 11" wide and 2 yards long.

  • Fold in half so it is 1 yard long, wrong side out

  • Mark that fold discretely top and bottom

  • Bottom mark: measure left 1/4 yard, make a mark

  • Top mark: measure right 1/4 yard, make a mark

  • Draw a line between these two - this should leave you with two rectangular pieces with pointy ends.

  • Cut along the line

  • With the kimono right side out, lay the right side of one pointy piece onto the bottom edge, lining up the hems (the long side affixes to the kimono)

  • Sew a 1/2 seam down the length of the gore

  • Iron seam flat, and iron a handkerchief hem (aka: thin) along the unsewn outer edges - minus the hem

  • Sew CAREFULLY as this is very thin fold along the ironed hem so all edges - minus the bottom - are finished off. (This is when you thank me for talking you into a Teflon foot. No bunching here, hooray!)

Sewing the pieces: Making and attaching the collar

  • You only have one piece left. The big one (2 yards long and 22" wide) is your collar. Fold it in half right side OUT (so how it will look when finished) and iron the fold flat

  • Turn it back out and put the right side face down. Iron a 1/2" hem all along the perimeter - you are cheating a hem, in other words.

  • Turn it back the original way and fold in half length wise. Make a discrete mark at the bottom of your collar to note where this is.

  • Sandwich the collar over the kimono (and lining if you made one) so the mark you made lines up with the back center seam. Pin in place

  • Follow the line of the neck all the way down that cut you made in the front panels pinning in place. This is the trickiest part of the whole ordeal. It will look a little lumpy, but when you wear it, it's fine. Weird, but true

  • Pin along the bottom edges, covering up the edge of the gore you just attached

  • Sew the edge of the collar, effectively attaching both front and back panels to the collar, making sure you go along the bottom edge to affix that part as well.

Sewing the hemline

  • Turn the kimono wrong side out again and iron a 1/2" hem all along the base.

  • NOTE: true kimonos are all the same size, wearers make a fold at the waist, tucking it under their obi to get the length just right. If you are not wanting that, put the kimono on, put a belt to hold it in place, and get someone to pin up the hem to the desired length.

  • Sew the hem, trim the threads, and Bob's your uncle. (Maybe Paul is your uncle, I don't want to judge.)

Cutting and Sewing the Obi

  • Lay your beautiful and contrasting fabric that is 2 and a quarter yards long flat on a surface and make a mark 24" from the selvedge (the finished edge of the fabric)

  • Tear (or cut if you don't have a fabric that tears) down the length, discard the scrap or save for other projects.

  • Fold wrong sides together and iron flat the loooooong crease

  • Turn right sides together, match the selvedge edge to the edge you cut, and pin the three sides together (outer edges and long edge) leaving a few inches of gap at one of the outer edges <-- essential

  • Sew with a 1/2" seam all around

  • Reach into the gap you left, grab the opposite end, and pull the whole thing right side out.

  • Iron the seams flat - this takes care - and then iron the gap closed as closely to the edge as possible. (Handkerchief hem)

  • I took the extra step of sewing that handkerchief hem all along the whole obi so it was nice and crisp, but you do not need to take this extra step.


  • Put on the kimono right side under left side (boy style)

  • Put a thin belt on at your natural waist

  • Raise your arms to the side and get someone to line up the seams so they are perfectly perpendicular to the floor

  • If you need to "blouse" the kimono over the belt in order to move, now's the time - the hem should be perfectly level all the way around you, the under flap should also be matching. Eh meh ghed, perfection, people!

  • Take one end of your obi and drape it over your shoulder (only an inch or two should go down the backside.)

  • Have someone wrap the rest of your obi around your waist - it should go around twice - and then attempt any of the many obi knots

  • Or just get frustrated and tie a bow

  • Turn the bow behind you so it is over your tushie

  • Take the ribbon, wrap it twice around your waist (desired would be to make an X over the obi) and tie that in a bow to be placed on your hip or just inside your hip

  • If you want to REALLY look authentic, you'll want to put a board or really stiff cardboard that will fit under the obi under the layers of it at the front of your waist. You will not be able to sit if you do so, which is why geishas kneel stiffly. It looks pretty awesome, but won't be comfy.

People wear layer upon layer of kimonos, the more, the higher up the social ladder you are. You wouldn't wear just one. Which is why I made two, one in red because my geisha was really a prostitute. A lovely person would wear a white kimono with the collar exposed, layered under the main kimono - red is for ceremonies, I believe. If you don't want to go crazy nuts, you could get a piece of fabric, iron it flat, and tuck it under your kimono like a dickie. Lol. It would work, though, because I did that when I took my daughter trick or treating, because it was too much weight/hot for running over the neighborhood. I was proper for my party, though.

Here's me in my kimono with the whole kit-n-kaboodle on (you'll note my face isn't white, neither was the girl whom I modeled the look after. Again, see: prostitutes do it differently.) I did the "heart" lipstick that I've seen on many geishas, which is why I look like I'm pursing my lips. Also, I realize the makeup-scar thing looks like hell. Couldn't be helped. Full sided-prosthetic for next time! Also, I am slightly drunk here. Hahaha.

I wish I wasn't against a black background so you could see the height of the wig + the blue streaks in it. Ah, well, that's what happens when you rely on others for picture taking.


( 55 comments — Leave a comment )
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Nov. 3rd, 2010 05:01 pm (UTC)
Oooo! Pretty!



What you're doing to your kids to make them pick their battles is similar to what my mother used to do to my brother and I. Only in our case, she would send us away and tell us to work it out for ourselves. She didn't want to hear the cause of the argument. She didn't want to know how we resolved it. Just: "Go away and don't come back until you work it out for yourselves."

BTW, it never occurred to either one of us to *not* work it out and test what would happen. I don't know why.

In a weird way, it worked, though. Neither my brother and I can even tell you what those bad squabbles were even about nor how we resolved them. All we know is that the dread of having to "work it out" meant that we (usually) figured out a compromise on the spot, rather than face the pointed-finger-to-go-away doom that my mother was so good at wielding.
Nov. 3rd, 2010 05:07 pm (UTC)
Thank you!

And the "pick your battles" thing is for the adults. You can't reason with a teen, and picking what is important to address = reason. ;)

Working it out seems to be a lot of shouting, and I'm sick to death of it. Intervening is the new plan of the day in Casa de Stoney.

Nov. 3rd, 2010 05:04 pm (UTC)
All right, I'm kack handed with sewing, but this looks like a really cool project.

re teenage years: My mother commented to me one evening that "you weren't this much trouble at fifteen." To which I said, "Mom, you sent me to boarding school."

Edited at 2010-11-03 05:06 pm (UTC)
Nov. 3rd, 2010 05:09 pm (UTC)
In Japan, kimonos are hand sewn, and when you clean them, you take them COMPLETELY APART and wash the panels, then hand sew it back together. Damn. If you can sew a straight line, you can do this. the collar is the only tricky bit.

Ahahahaha. I'm considering that, too. ;)
Nov. 3rd, 2010 05:09 pm (UTC)
I wonder if Joss had any idea how often that lovely nails-on-a-chalkboard line was going to be repeated? Oy....I'm SO not looking forward to my kid hitting the tween/teen years.
Nov. 3rd, 2010 05:15 pm (UTC)
I think I should make my husband watch the Dawn is a Brat years to see that it's all of them. ALL OF THEM.
Nov. 3rd, 2010 05:14 pm (UTC)
I want a fifth. No, make that two. Hell, I'll just jump in the vat.

I've got two teenagers and a nine year old. The youngest is a boy, but he makes my two girls look like amateurs.
Nov. 3rd, 2010 05:15 pm (UTC)
? Of booze? I'm confused.

And I have the same set up, re: 2 teens and a 9 year old (girl) and they're all driving me bananas.

Edited at 2010-11-03 05:16 pm (UTC)
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Nov. 3rd, 2010 05:25 pm (UTC)
Hahahaha. I mean, the Mr. convinced his parents that to let him drink beer (at 15!!!) with their dinner would keep him from following the path of his friends that would binge drink because it was taboo. AND THEY DID. And of course my husband totally took advantage of that and drank his ass off as a teen. *head desk* the man has no reality to base decisions on.

Thanks again, and hahahahaha. You cannot add another thing you're good at, you'll cause the Singularity.

He's totally in a growth spurt and is almost as tall as me now. I won't be able to tower over him with Mom Face for much longer. He also said, in all sincerity, "Is hell a bad word? Why? Hell." STOP THAT. (It's totally my fault for cussing around them, I know this.)
Nov. 3rd, 2010 05:19 pm (UTC)
Oooh, your kimono looks gorgeous! But why did you have a scar?

And *pets* It gets a little better when they get older, I promise.

And hmm. I don't think I went through a sneaky/snotty stage. I was too busy with my spoiled brat stage. Of course, I was the oldest, so that may have made a diff.
Nov. 3rd, 2010 05:27 pm (UTC)
Again, my costume was based on a movie character, and the whole side of her face was scarred. It's Halloween, it's supposed to be twisted! (I've posted pics of her previously.)

I know it'll get better (it HAS TO! *cry*) but in the meantime... GAH. "Mommy drinks because you argue." Lol.

Snotty would also translate into spoiled brat. That's an Americanism I suppose?
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Nov. 3rd, 2010 05:23 pm (UTC)
The kimono is gorgeous!

This made me laugh out loud: "is that the hill you want to die on? Put the silverware away? REALLY?" Setting the table and folding laundry were two most melt down inducing chores in our house. It's amazing any of us survived the terrible torture.

The precious item seizure sounds like an excellent plan.
Nov. 3rd, 2010 05:28 pm (UTC)
Thank you! The fabric was like liquid silk, it felt fabulous.

Oh man, the most difficult things aren't walking the dog, cleaning up poop/litter, but SILVERWARE. Really. REALLY?! It's just ridiculous.

I'm very much looking forward to enacting this plan. Mine is an evil laugh! *rubs hands together*
Nov. 3rd, 2010 06:08 pm (UTC)
oh shit that looks awesome!! I went as a piss poor Geisha one year (really it was just for the Gay-sha jokes) and instead of trying to make or buy a kimono I just wore one of those small Yutaka robes for guys. Of course I realize how tiny they were when I made that decision.
Nov. 3rd, 2010 06:38 pm (UTC)
LOL at the shortness - if you get a "geisha costume" from any of the halloween stores, they're all short sexy bathrobes, I mean, wanna-be kimonos. I'm sure it served its purpose you intended, though!
Nov. 3rd, 2010 06:14 pm (UTC)
Your costume looks amazing!

Also, shortly after I read your post, my dad sent an email with a line that reminded me of your predicament: Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex.
Nov. 3rd, 2010 06:37 pm (UTC)
Thank you very much!

AHAHAHAHA. True, true.
Nov. 3rd, 2010 06:16 pm (UTC)
This is a really awesome tutorial!

And your cautions about costume satin vs. real satin are SPOT ON. Costume satin is the devil.

I have a slight quibble about cotton, though. While formal kimono are usually silk/satin, the more informal yukata (which are cut really similarly) are typically cotton. I've got a gorgeous imported one (white with a black bamboo pattern) that I lucked into at the thrift store for $7 and I use it as my summer bathrobe.

So, if someone wanted to make a costume kimono or Kimono-Like Object, I wouldn't say cotton is right out -- I'd caution them against using stiff quilting cotton or cotton chintz, but a soft, drapey cotton shirting material or something (not gauze) that would work for a flowing summer sundress would be about the right texture. Heck, high-count bedsheets in a bamboo or leaf pattern would work. And that stuff is MUCH simpler to sew than even good-quality dress satin.

You look fabulous and I am in awe of the final effect!
Nov. 3rd, 2010 06:36 pm (UTC)
Why, thank you very much!

And if I may quibble back at you, this is a tutorial for a kimono, based on centuries long "rules" for what is proper, etc. Yukata are as different from kimono as turtlenecks are from sun dresses. It's not considered the same thing at all. So. There's one. Two, cotton wouldn't be used for kimono - kimono is actually the word for the material.

Neither bathrobe nor yukata (or Kimono-Like Object) =/= kimono. All of the Americanized kimono patterns I found were basically that: bathrobes. They don't hang the same at all. [/end rebuttal] ;)

Sorry, I did LOADS of research and translated lots of pages to make sure I was respecting their culture.
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Nov. 3rd, 2010 06:54 pm (UTC)
Thank you, Anne! It really did - it's very huggable. Too bad my huge headpiece/wig made that difficult, lol.

We'll make it. That's why DNA/The Big Bang created books and hot baths with doors that lock. :D
Nov. 3rd, 2010 07:17 pm (UTC)
I was a single parent until my one daughter (and only child) was 15 so it was actually kinda easy. She never had time to be snotty; she was too busy washing clothes, cleaning up after pets, doing homework, babysitting for a little cash, and pulling more than her weight so I could work alla time. She's fiercely loyal as well; better not nobody say nothing mean about her momma or she'll shiv ya!

Of course, when I got remarried when she was 15, the stepdad became EBILLLL! She adored him before we started dating, and adored him while we dated. But for about 4 years there it was a horrible jealous cat fight! They have since worked it out and dearly love each other again; he's even walking her down the isle when she gets married next year, instead of her bio dad.

I think the secret is work and lots of it. She got her first paying job at 14 (I had to sign permission and it was at the Fudge Factory; CUE FUDGE PACKING JOKES!) but she loved working and eleven years later has a wonderful work ethic! So, load'em up with chores n jobs! LOL!

There were a few battles where she and I ended up with one plate, bowl, spoon, fork, knife and glass each and if you didn't wash your stuff and put it away you didn't use it to eat off of. She got pretty creative before she gave up,... if they don't put the silverware away they don't get to use it!

I do like your 'private space' plan. Genius! I don't know how I would have raised two or more. I suspect HRS would have visited me on a regular basis,...

Now my mom,... If I had rolled my eyes at her she woulda slapped 'em outta my head!
Nov. 3rd, 2010 07:31 pm (UTC)
Oh, to be sure my kids have had chores since they were old enough to talk. I was raised Mormon, don't forget - it's all about putting your shoulder to the wheel. I am that mother that denied Christmas to one of my children because of their atrocious behavior. I am a mean mama machine, lol.

I staved off the teen grumps with my son until now, and he's almost 15, too. #2, 13.5, is just getting started. She saves her worst for her dad, though, because it's just that age.
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Nov. 3rd, 2010 07:23 pm (UTC)
As punishment, my friend's mom used to make her and her brother sit on the front porch, hugging each other, for half an hour. For some reason that makes me LOL so hard.

I also LOLed at "get out get out GET OUT!" NEVER GETS OLD.

Your costume is fucking awesome. You should wear it every day.
Nov. 3rd, 2010 07:29 pm (UTC)

Thanks, I really enjoyed the overall look when it was finished. It'll be a costume I pull out often, and not just because of how expensive the hair was, lol. (But mostly for that.)

AHAHAHA, I do that to my kids, too!! And I stand over them demanding that they stand closer and put the whole flat of their hands on the other's back. I AM CROO-ELLE.
Nov. 3rd, 2010 08:33 pm (UTC)
Ohhh, well done on the costume. At the last fancy dress party I went to I just wore a tatty old pair of jeans and t-shirt, tore into them with a knife, and then dumped a litre of fake blood over myself and said I was a shipwreck victim (it was the Love Boat Runs Aground on Fantasty Island Party, it's not like they shouldn't have expected victims).

You should settle on telling them tales of Little Jimmy, their little talked about older brother who disobeyed his parents.

And tell Emily her hair needs to be shinier if she's going into 'Get Out' territory.
Nov. 3rd, 2010 11:19 pm (UTC)
AHAHAHAHA, that's a fantastic costume idea. I hope that really happened and wasn't some fever dream of yours where you think you have friends and a life beyond your cat and fanfic. (You can tell me. Be honest. I'll only make fun of you a little. okay, a lot, but you want me to do it to your face or behind your back? Because I can do either. Or both. your call.)

Shinier, check. Passive aggressive comments on her hygiene to add to the parenting, AWESOME. You'd be the best mother. before they took them away. But for those brief, shining moments, shining because of all the tears....
... - dovil - Nov. 4th, 2010 12:34 am (UTC) - Expand
Nov. 3rd, 2010 08:52 pm (UTC)
I'd say that looks VERY nice! :-D Awesome work! :-D
Nov. 3rd, 2010 11:16 pm (UTC)
Thank you very much!
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Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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