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scientific poll of importance

Since I seem to have ruffled a lot of feathers earlier today, I thought I'd go for broke. Whee, aren't you glad I'm posting again?

Poll #1644983 Just how big an a-hole is Stoney?
This poll is closed.

I think the most reasonable topics to discuss with strangers are:

politics, esp. if you just spout off about how stupid the other guy's beliefs are.
Religion, and boy, do I love telling people all of the flaws in their belief system!
Art, and the only way I see a painting/sculpture/poem/tree is the RIGHT way.
Parenting, because there are no other options but the way I see it.
My bowel movements.

All kidding aside, I've:

got your nose!
seen a duck walk better than you.
really pissed me off, Stoney, by using your journal to state your opinions.
seen that face before, seen him hanging 'round my door.
got no idea what on earth you're talking about, woman.

Regarding leashing a child to keep them "safe:"

I think this is a horrendous practice and probably creates serial killers.
I think this is probably not the best idea, but I don't think it will cause a child to be a serial killer.
I am completely ambivalent to this idea, although I have strong opinions on serial killers.
I think leashing a child is an okay thing to do, and I'm not weighing in on serial killers.
I love the idea of leashing a child, I wish they all were leashed! Serial killers are frightening.
I not only love leashing children, but woman that I get from truck stops. Who are you calling a serial killer?
What the hell is up with the serial killer stuff, Stoney, do you have something you need to confess?
Are you equating leashing children with serial killers?! Oh, no, you're just being funny. That's alright, then.

If you are pro-leashing (or just mildly supportive):

are you only talking about one child that is accompanying the parent?
There are two children accompanying the parent, one is leashed.
There are two children accompanying the parent, they both are leashed.
There are three or more children accompanying the parent and only one is leashed.
There are fourteen children with this parent, they are all leashed, and the parent could really use some help, thanks.

If you are pro-leashing, do you:

make a point to the child that they shouldn't touch things they aren't supposed to.
tell the child what behaviors you expect of them before you enter a store filled with delicate and expensive items.
know that you will leave the store if the child's behavior turns south.

Ultimately I feel this way about leashing:

Shouldn't happen.
Should happen.
Feel that a sonic emitter combined with a shock collar is a far better option.
Think you are being a sarcastic B word, Stoney, and I don't appreciate it.

Um, so if you feel like defriending is important for you, I certainly will not judge you. I am a total B word.


( 142 comments — Leave a comment )
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Nov. 15th, 2010 11:17 pm (UTC)
After working at a zoo in a children's play and splash zone I'm kind of torn on the leashing thing. One one hand, I've seen some parents who could probably make good use of it ( WHY IN GODS NAME WOULD YOU LET THEM RUN AHEAD OF YOU WHEN YOU KNOW THEY CAN RUN RIGHT INTO THE WATER?!?!) and some who use it who probably don't need it because they're good parents and some who don't need it.

I'd say a leash should be unnecessary if you're implementing the right discipline with your child (and yes I just watched 2 episodes of SuperNanny today)

But this is all me telling parents how to parent without being a parent yet myself. And that being said, this is your journal and you can do whatever the hell you want with it. I'm here for the humor and sarcasm.
Nov. 15th, 2010 11:23 pm (UTC)
I think JoJO is solidly against the leash, for whatever that means to anyone. She finks its un-ah-sept-uble. hahaha.

I AM GLAD YOU SEE I AM BEING SARCASTIC. Kinda. Mostly. Somewhat. A little. Lol.
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Nov. 15th, 2010 11:22 pm (UTC)
We used one, very occasionally, because she was going through an independant phase and wouldn't hold hands. It didn't last, and we gave up on it once she was happy to hold hands again. I didn't feel particularly bad or good about it; it was just one of teh things we tried out to see if it suited. We didn't use it much with the second kid.

The older girl is now studying for her master's degree in London, the younger is at a good drama school. Neither have yet become serial killers. Give them time.

IOW, a lot depends. On the kid, the place, the parent.
Nov. 15th, 2010 11:27 pm (UTC)
"Neither of them have yet become serial killers." You've blown my very scientific research out of the water, and I don't know how to feel about it! Lol.

I shudder when I see them, I'm completely upfront about it, but I'm not the boss of you or anyone other than my own kids, so, eh.
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Nov. 15th, 2010 11:23 pm (UTC)
I was a leashed toddler if out at the shopping mall, but I like to think my serial killer tendancies stem from other factors. Though mum did quite like to strangle the other kiddies with the leash while I was still attached to it, but eh, pretty flimsy connection if you ask me.

I have no intention of having children so it's kind of irrelevant, but I do promise and cross my heart never to put my cats on leashes even though taking all 57 down to the mall is a real exercise in staying on your toes, mostly down to all the faeces they leave everywhere.

What my Strong Opinion is: there are some places that children shouldn't be taken. Like taking them down to the local cafe and spending hours there chatting with your friends over coffee and not having anything for the kids to do so they run rampant about the place bored out of their skulls - Not Cool People! For gods sake, how long does it take to pack a colouring-in/storybook or a toy to keep them occupied - or better yet realise that some spaces are adult ones and small kids just aren't really appropriate for everyone elses sanity and that kids have small windows before they become tired and cranky and grumpiness decends.

But this is because everyone else sucks and is wrong.
Nov. 15th, 2010 11:30 pm (UTC)
Remind me to pack dog biscuits for you on our trip.

"There are some places that children shouldn't be taken." AGREED. It's really upsetting to me when children come in to the club - I always mess up and slide down the pole, in a bad way.
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Nov. 15th, 2010 11:25 pm (UTC)


tbh my toenails are so short that you can see the tips of my toes poking out after them, so perhaps I am immune to your disgust. NEVERTHELESS AS YOU ARE WELL AWARE I DO NOT ACTUALLY CARE.

prancing time now

also tbh I think children should be kept in small but well-ventilated metal boxes until such time as they are able to communicate like normal human beings and not using shrieking relentlessly as their primary means of conversation. I am aware that this is perhaps an unpopular opinion.

Edited at 2010-11-15 11:28 pm (UTC)
Nov. 15th, 2010 11:29 pm (UTC)
I'm flying up to NYC with some bolt cutters for your toenails. I LIKE MANICURED NAILS, BTW. I'm just not into the French pedicure - it makes me think the person needs a trim, augh.

IF IT'S NOT LONGER THAN YOUR TOE, YOU ARE SAFE FROM MY WRATH. Ahahahaha. OMG, prance for me, pls, I am about to cook foods for children and I cannot be trusted to prance near knives and flames.
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Nov. 15th, 2010 11:30 pm (UTC)
One of my friends used reins on her kids so that they could run ahead or stay behind a little and she wouldn't have to worry about kidnapping. It's not my favorite thing, but I can see the utility. I mean, as long as we're not talking about a collar around a neck or anything because that's dangerous.

Nov. 15th, 2010 11:32 pm (UTC)
But... kidnapping? Really? Like, that was a genuine concern? I think on some deep level all mothers are instinctively over-protective in the lizard brain when it comes to our kids, but I don't really believe my children will actually be abducted, even if I keep my back up with watchfulness.

Any kidnapper would bring them back home after ten minutes of their bickering, for one. ;)
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Nov. 15th, 2010 11:47 pm (UTC)
I made an informal poll about child leashing on my Facebook, and a good chunk of my educated, lovely friends have actually leashed their children at one point or another, usually in the name of safety (like, kidnapping safety). Um. Okay. Still against it, though.
Nov. 16th, 2010 12:34 am (UTC)
They were worried about *kidnapping*?!? I leashed my kids in the mall, because it's a friggin MALL. Kidnapping was the least of my concerns -- there are entire stores in there with nothing but sparkly, fragile objects and NO FRONT DOOR!

Also crowds, open stairwells, etc etc.
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Nov. 15th, 2010 11:50 pm (UTC)
I wasn't planning to comment about the leashing, but since you asked! I never used a harness or leash on my child, and he only ran out in front of a car, causing it to slam on its brakes, once! yay! I also only restricted my entire shopping experience to three stores total for six or seven years! I did eventually train him not to yank his little hand out of mine and take off running by when he was 8, thanks for asking! :)

Of course you may feel free to delete or defriend as you wish!
Nov. 16th, 2010 01:09 am (UTC)
I did ask! I always welcome commentary. I think we all as parents have had those close calls. You can't protect them from EVERYTHING, you might as well start teaching them how to behave, react, etc.

And see, you've made the best point in that YOU TRAINED YOUR CHILD. Brava, madam, brava. This comment stands as a testament!
Nov. 15th, 2010 11:51 pm (UTC)
Watch out! Here comes a Mad Villian!

This is out of control, woman! Like my child who steps out the front door, and while I lock it, runs down the steps and into the street and does not listen to me saying stay with mommy or yelling STOP! NO! And since he is more slippery than a pig suntanning with Crisco, managing to hold his hand is beyond me, the horrible parent and poor excuse for a human being who can understand when a parent needs a little help to keep their kid from hurting themselves. (what does it matter how many kids vs. parents there are unless you are tying them up to a sleigh and making them haul you ass around the neighborhood as you whip them saying MUSH! MUSH!)

Eh, I don't know.. Unless the parents are doing something they REALLY should not be doing, they won't develop a kink or become a murderer or even a politician. It takes more than one little thing.
Nov. 16th, 2010 01:08 am (UTC)
Oh, and in case it is coming across the wrong way, I am totally sarcastically "mad" about this subject. I really don't care if your opinion differs from my own. I just care when people look at me like I'm abusing my child or trying to rip his arm off when I try to keep him from doing something dangerous.
BUT I LIKE MAD VILLAINS! - stoney321 - Nov. 16th, 2010 01:14 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: BUT I LIKE MAD VILLAINS! - txvoodoo - Nov. 16th, 2010 07:30 pm (UTC) - Expand
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Nov. 16th, 2010 01:15 am (UTC)
to be fair
if there's one thing that will get a person's back up, it's the thought of having your parenting questioned, so I ain't bovvered. ;)
Nov. 16th, 2010 12:16 am (UTC)
Reins sound different from leashes. My mother always INSISTED on hand-holding or in-the-pushchair. Apparently she once said 'Well, if you won't hold my hand, that's fine, but you'll be wearing reins from now on' and I was SO INCREDIBLY OFFENDED that I held her hand.

Oh, I really enjoyed your phone rant earlier and I thought you'd like this. For ANNOYING PHONE WOMEN. Tho I bet you already know LoG backwards.

Nov. 16th, 2010 01:18 am (UTC)
Reins/leashes, I think they're the same. Here there would typically be a harness on the child's torso and a leash affixed to that. The parent would either loop the end around their wrist or tie it to a stroller. IT SOUNDS SO RIDICULOUS JUST TYPING THAT OUT. Gah.

OMG, I love The League of Gentlemen! Give me a good sketch comedy group any day. <3
Nov. 16th, 2010 12:20 am (UTC)
I have no children. This is not an accident - it's a deliberate plan for my life, thankyouverymuch. That said, I totes have an opinion on your parenting topic du jour!

When I see one of those stupid leashes, I think that it's demeaning for both parties involved. A child is a person, not a puppy!
Nov. 16th, 2010 01:18 am (UTC)
I love it when people weigh their options and opt out of the parenting gig. I love that women can do that now, you know?

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Nov. 16th, 2010 12:22 am (UTC)
I think there needs to be a Child Rearing Issues Cagematch to see what can cause the most passionate responses. Mostly, I just think it's hilarious that child leashes are up there with bottle vs breast in that battle. (Every few years, someone I know comes out as passionately opposed to them. Which I just don't feel. I mean, I admire the passion, but I think they have their uses, even if they are overkill for most parent/child combos.)

However, and now that I'm not on my phone, I can say that I did once suggest flippantly to my brother that he use the Monks of New Skete methods to raise his child, only to have me take me semi-seriously. So, you know, all parenting suggestions I make should probably be taken with LARGE GRAINS OF SALT.

AND TOTALLY INSUFFICIENT SAMPLE SET, but my unleashed brother is WAY more likely to become a serial killer than I am!
Nov. 16th, 2010 01:03 am (UTC)
Ah, but if you were a serial killer would you admit to it?
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Nov. 16th, 2010 12:24 am (UTC)
In Disney world with my 2 yr old. She is NOT leashed. I am seeing a lot of them though and not just toddlers either. Waiting to see a 13 yr old leashed. It's coming people! Ok back to my vacay with the Mouse. Kisses
Nov. 16th, 2010 01:21 am (UTC)
Kisses back, and GOOD FOR YOU.
Nov. 16th, 2010 12:31 am (UTC)
Weighing in on the leashing thing: my mum put me on a leash so that I wouldn't run off and die because I was really curious and about as unstreetwise as it is possible to be, even as a child.

I don't have a problem with it because a. my leash was turquoise and totally cute
b. she didn't yank me around or hurt me or whatever
c. I haven't been forever ruined or scarred or humiliated, I really didn't care at the time at all, I was more excited about e.g. tellytubby custard.

Also, most importantly, I don't believe that children are fully human. Which sounds okay that's a shit way to put it. Children are fully human, but they're not fully people. They're like, pre-people and they still have a lot of animalistic traits (e.g.: selfishness for the purpose of self-preservation) so for me, treating a child like an animal in certain ways is not disrespectful. They are people in the making. They're not there yet. They deserve respect and love and fear and recognition of their intelligence and skill and all these other things, but so do animals, but you wouldn't give either an animal or a child a ferrari or a stove because they'd have no bloody idea what to do with it. In the same way, in order to preserve the tender and fragile meat-shell of a child or animal's beautiful precious soul which is their body, if you use your better judgement and decide they're too damn stupid to sort themselves out so you'd like to have a method of control which you feel is less fallible than just trying to keep a grip on your mucky wriggling sly little larva, there's nothing wrong with that.

Also I forgot I have always always always hated holding hands and if my mother tried to hold hands with me I threw a small child bitchfit at her. I really really hated it. I liked having both hands free to grab and paw at and manipulate what I wanted e.g. organising toothpaste tubes. The leash allowed me to that.

Just my opinion as a leashchild. Also keep in mind I myself will never have children so don't fret about me passing on my admittedly weird attitude to another generation. x
Nov. 16th, 2010 12:59 am (UTC)
+1 for the "Not fully human". I have three. I'm wondering if my 16-year old will make to "human" status as we speak.

I forget where I read it, but one parenting "expert" advised new parents to treat their very young children something like puppies. Firm guidance, small words, swats with a newspaper when needed. Yes, I leashed occasionally. And yes, I always cleaned up their poo while on walks with them.

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Nov. 16th, 2010 12:35 am (UTC)
I saw your post this morning, disagreed in my head and went on about my day! Clearly I am doing it wrong?
Nov. 16th, 2010 01:24 am (UTC)
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( 142 comments — Leave a comment )


Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

Time Wot It Is

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