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A mini-rant, an AHHH!, and a recipe

First, because of things happening to a very good friend of mine (this has crossover with our flists, I know) who, and I'd swear this over the life of my children, is one of the most thoughtful and considerate people on LJ, I want to say this: if you ever share anything I put in a locked post with anyone outside of that locked post, you are dead to me. Now. I don't go off on people under a lock (I have, though, but it's rare) and I don't post under a lock often. When I do it's with people whom I feel safe sharing my personal thoughts. Or it's writing that I'm uncertain about. Or it's personal information about my kids, maybe pictures. NONE OF THAT IS MEANT FOR THE WORLD. I will hunt you down and shame you, should you do something like that.

But none of you would do that, right? :) And if you think it's ever okay to do so, this is where you go ahead and take me off your flist and we just call it a day, fair and square.

Having said that, I would like to direct your attention to this Murphy bed made out of a PIANO. Guys, I won't lie, this hurts me. Background info: I grew up the daughter of a piano tuner/repair man. My father is a member of a dying breed of artisans, no lie. We always had a few pianos in the house as he worked on varying stages of their rebuilding, and I spent countless hours in the summer (or after school) helping my dad rebuild the actions. (When you hit a key, a series of levers and hammers activate to hit the string. I had the glorious job of using an ancient steam iron and nasty old rag that held decades of old glue within its fibers to loosen the glue that held the felt that cushioned the hammers that sat in the butt that housed the dampers that lived in the house that Jack built.)

My sister, Dampersnspoons (hey, there's where the name is from! *g*) actually helps him tuneDO EVERYTHING ELSE with pianos as well. I'm getting off track, but I want to say yes, the idea is cool, but I think, OH, THAT GLORIOUS UPRIGHT! It could have been in my home, and the wood is so beautiful! Sigh. I realize I'm mostly alone on this one. *solo C note, drop an octave, back up and tighten* <-- for my sister.

LASTLY! Holy sheep dung, I made a "faux mashed potato" last night that I was sure no one would like, but I had to try. And guess what? It was CRAZY DELICIOUS. Also, my son didn't realize it wasn't potatoes. The secret? Actual human brains. Just kidding, it was cauliflower.

Knew it. Butter always gets ya.

Faux Mershed Purterders

1 head of cauliflower (albino broccoli), cored, and chopped up into florets. (It's gonna be pureed, so don't feel like you have to be crazy here)
1/2 C non-fat sour cream (I used greek yogurt.)
scant tsp of Kosher salt (or 3/4 tsp regular)
few grinds of black pepper
1/4 C Parmesans or Pecorno-Romano (I used the latter.)
2 TBSP butter, melted and browned if you have the patience.

Cover the cauliflower in water in a pan, cook until tender, about 7 minutes for me. Drain, put in food processor (or blender if that's what you have.) Add in the sour cream (or yogurt) salt and pepper, pulse. Add the cheese and butter and process until creamy. Mine still had a few wee chunks, but I like a little tooth to my food. And teeth in my food. Just me?

Adjust seasonings to taste, and maybe go crazy nuts with some chives or green onion or summat. This made 5 helpings. But I totally would have eaten half of this myself.

I have to go to Sam's and buy apocalypse portions of toilet paper today. Why? Because I'm an American, that's why. (Lol, I have space and a teen boy with friends that evidently eat a lot of cheese. Gross.) <-- I never said I was classy. It was SASSY. They rhyme, I get why you'd be confused.


( 72 comments — Leave a comment )
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Jan. 13th, 2011 03:31 pm (UTC)
I'm appalled that that happened. It makes me want to tighten my Flist, but it's so tight it squeaks so ...

I have made and nommed the faux mashed potatoes plenty of times. Old Weight Watchers secret.

Jan. 13th, 2011 03:57 pm (UTC)
Me, too. Such a rat fink for trying to hurt people, why else would you want to do such a thing?

I know nothing of Weight Watchers beyond that it exists and I've had friends that have used their program, so it was new to me!
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... - stoney321 - Jan. 13th, 2011 04:02 pm (UTC) - Expand
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lol. - stoney321 - Jan. 13th, 2011 04:08 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: lol. - turnonmyheels - Jan. 13th, 2011 04:10 pm (UTC) - Expand
Again I say, LOL. - stoney321 - Jan. 13th, 2011 04:16 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Again I say, LOL. - turnonmyheels - Jan. 13th, 2011 04:18 pm (UTC) - Expand
Jan. 13th, 2011 03:34 pm (UTC)
*hugs* You're made of awesome, Stoney.

I wish none of us had to state that, but yeah, it seems like it's worth saying right now that friends-locked entries stay private.

Oh my god, that recipe sounds delicious! I adore cauliflower, and have gradually won Mr Nous over to having it on occasion though not as often as I would like probably (I could seriously nom roasted cauliflower as a snack all the time). I'm going to try this dish as soon as I can get my car back on the road with this crazy snow! Oh! I bet it would be fantastic as a side-dish for fish. *ponders*
Jan. 13th, 2011 03:59 pm (UTC)
I know you are, but what am I? :)

I think we all have to go through this every, what, two years? ATTN PEOPLE: if you're new to the internet game, there's your head's up to how it works. Good lord.

MMMMMMMMM IT IS SO GOOD, J. My kids wolfed it down, what does that tell you? I mean, true, my kids love parsnips and other healthy foods, but you get my point! Oh, you know what else is delish with roasted cauliflower is browned butter on that! Mmmm, butter. (The nice thing is that it only takes one or two pats for a whole head, so that's healthy, right?)
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Jan. 13th, 2011 04:05 pm (UTC)
I have had cauliflower like that, and OMNOMNOMNOM!

Just to clarify: I would never DREAM of reposting something you said under friendslock in a wider forum. But suppose you say something awesome and incisive, and I turn to my roommate, who barely bothers with LJ although she has one, and say "Hey, remember Stoney who wrote the awesome gay Mormon missionaries story we both loved? She just said something amazing," and repeat the amazing bit. Is that cool?
Jan. 13th, 2011 04:10 pm (UTC)
It's so super good, and I'm having the leftovers for my lunch! Granted, it's only a tablespoon or two left, but still.

I have on my User Info page that if I make a public post, it's in the public domain to be linked, referred to, etc. Locked posts are a horse of a different color. That answer things? :)
Jan. 13th, 2011 04:08 pm (UTC)
Does this mean I shouldn't have posted on Facebook about your part time job as a pole dancer? Just how locked was that post, anyway?? ::throws mashed cauliflower at you from a safe distance::
Jan. 13th, 2011 04:10 pm (UTC)

And no, that was super great of you, because it drummed up all sorts of new business.
Jan. 13th, 2011 04:11 pm (UTC)
Mmmm. Cauliflower mash, I wants some.
Jan. 13th, 2011 04:16 pm (UTC)
NO! NONE LEFT! It's all in mah belleh.
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Jan. 13th, 2011 04:23 pm (UTC)
Is "greek yogurt" the same as tzatziki? I've seen that term around and I always wondered.

Oh, and BTW, I was the one who squealed to Quentin Tarantino about mean stuff you'd said about him under flock and got you fired from his latest movie. I'M JUST SAYING.
Jan. 13th, 2011 04:46 pm (UTC)
Greek yogurt is the base for tzatziki, which has garlic, salt, cucumber and some lemon. It's DELICIOUS. Both greek yogurt and tzatziki. (Greek yogurt is just old school, like, OLD school yogurt, thick and delicious.)

DAMN IT, LYNNE. I had been working on immersion therapy to deal with his foot fetish for MONTHS and now that's all wasted!

(Did you see your email about April? Also February, YAY!)
... - lynnenne - Jan. 14th, 2011 01:44 am (UTC) - Expand
Jan. 13th, 2011 05:03 pm (UTC)
As someone who took piano lessons for a number of years as a child and who LOVED her piano tuner (he was an awesome player as well as tuner), I feel you on the murphy bed. Interesting concept, but DEAR GOD!

Have you seen Note by Note: The Making of Steinway L1037? If you love pianos and how they're made and the artisans who make them, you need to see this.
Jan. 13th, 2011 06:12 pm (UTC)
I've not seen that, I'll have to see if it's available on Netflix!

Oh man, I'm going to have to post my rant about The Piano, now, huh? :)
... - dampersnspoons - Jan. 13th, 2011 06:38 pm (UTC) - Expand
Jan. 13th, 2011 05:09 pm (UTC)
A good piano tuner/repairer is extremely hard to find. I am stupidly lucky that I have one that I can call up and say things like "Ahhh my toddler just through my tuner behind the fall!" and he will calmly talk me through taking it off. He will also come out when there are emergencies and I call him up saying "AHHH these keys are sticking and I wouldn't bug you but I'm working Purcell and you how baroque is. WAIII AUDITIONS WAIII!" and he comes out.

So, all that to say you are not alone. Murphy bed = cool idea, murphy bed out of a piano= blasphemy!

Also I love making faux mashed taters! I also make a faux Spanish rice with cauli too. The aforementioned toddler loves it.
Jan. 13th, 2011 06:15 pm (UTC)
I'll say this, my dad (and I'm really not bragging here) is considered the best in Dallas/Fort Worth. He does every major performance hall/university/church. And still drives out to this little podunk town a few times a year to tune the same folks he started tuning back in the early 70s when he was desperate for money.

He has a few old ladies that he tunes for almost free. He's a good man. (I think he feels some part ownership in those pianos, too, lol.) Sounds like you have a great one, too. They're a rare breed.
(Deleted comment)
Jan. 13th, 2011 06:11 pm (UTC)
Jan. 13th, 2011 06:15 pm (UTC)
Not eating any carbohydrates, we always do faux mashed potatoes here. ;-) Sometimes we mix some broccoli in it as well, to make the colour awesome. :-D And we use cream, really fat cream, and real butter in it. ;-) It is AWESOME! :-D
Jan. 13th, 2011 06:16 pm (UTC)
no carbohydrates?!?!? Yeah, that's a diet I do not understand. If you can do it, Mazel. But man...I think I truly could live on bread alone.
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Jan. 13th, 2011 06:35 pm (UTC)
If it's any consolation to you, that upright probably had cat pee all inside it and roach turds and water damage and was beyond repair, and probably needed new whippens and phalanges and parts that are too expensive to replace since the brand is obsolete (There were hundreds of piano makers that turned up around the turn of the century, all with specific parts that are impossible to find as they competed with the big boys and finally went bankrupt) and instead of it turning up in a dump somewhere, a lovely person decided to sleep inside it! That's kind of poetic. At least the outside is appreciated.

And I *wish* I knew how to tune pianos, but all I can do is fix everything on the inside of it and make the outside pretty and clean Steinways and scrape strings and y'know, all the laborious work that "women shouldn't do" but do. I asked dad for years to teach me how to tune and he's continually turned me down. It's a man's job, Laura! Now go get that rubber mallet and bang these key pins into the action, sand down the hammer felt, use a jigsaw to cut these phalanges, slice your fingers open as you cut leather to glue it to jacks with animal fat, fill keys with lead to weigh them, carry this 70 pound action out to the truck, and...hey, aren't you on your period?

And yeah, people who don't understand what an f-lock is and that it means "THIS IS PRIVATE 'TWEEN US GALS/GUYS" need to get the boot. Or off your filter, whichever comes first.

Jan. 13th, 2011 06:56 pm (UTC)
AHAHAHAHA, thank you for understanding my pain, and knowing how to make me not care about that piano. Okay, okay, I'm with you on the poetry of it all. BUT ONLY IF IT WAS SOAKED IN CAT PISS, BETH.

Wait... I thought you started tuning for dad, I was wrong? Color me surprised, I've been giving you more credit than you DESERVE. I wish you wouldn't lie to me, I really do.

OMG, I lol'd at the whole wommin cain't do this rant. I LOVE HIM BUT HE IS AN ASS ABOUT THINGS.

I want you to come over and make chicken verde tamales with me. SAD FACE. (I have pork tamales for you, btw.)
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HAI BEFF HAI I LARVE EWE - stoney321 - Jan. 13th, 2011 07:32 pm (UTC) - Expand
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Jan. 13th, 2011 07:22 pm (UTC)
I'm confused, I always thought that if someone locked down a post it was by mistake and I was doing them a favour by broadcasting it to all and sundry. GOD DAMN IT!
Jan. 13th, 2011 07:33 pm (UTC)
Well, honey, that's to be expected with you. *whispers to everyone else* She's not the smartest, but doesn't she look lovely with her sweater all buttoned up and her lunch order pinned to her sleeve?
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Jan. 13th, 2011 08:54 pm (UTC)
Yep, those are parts to a piano's action! :) I think the Lord is clearly sending you a message. Be sure to pay your tithe, too. Lol.

Seriously, it is DELICIOUS. If they don't see you with the cauliflower, they won't know. Muah ah ah!
Jan. 13th, 2011 09:24 pm (UTC)
I tell my cat EVERYTHING you've ever said. Then I quickly go back to hoarding a few more things.
nom nom cauliflower!
Jan. 14th, 2011 02:54 pm (UTC)
As long as you're hoarding your cat's hair balls, YOU MUSTN'T FORGET THOSE.
Jan. 13th, 2011 09:45 pm (UTC)
People suck. I made an f-locked complaint of how one fandom news site was straying from its charter to promote only high quality work, someone spread it around, and all hell broke loose. Breaking the f-lock! What some people will stoop to.

Cauliflower love! It's so flexible in style and texture and flavour, yet retains its essential cauliflowerosity. If you're feeling food-fussy some day, try rolling cooked florets in coarse breadcrumbs, sesame seeds and parmesan, drizzling with butter, and then toasting in the oven/gorilla.
OMG, Laura, O. M. G.
Jan. 14th, 2011 02:55 pm (UTC)
Oy, that is grounds for massive punishment, that is. (I think I remember that, too. I think that was around the time I had the same thing happen, my god, was that 6 years ago?)

Well guess how I'm cooking my cauliflower today!
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Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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