(Remember when people used to expect readers to leave comments? Good times. Let's have nostalgia week!)
Second, because I need support to help me deal with my horror (and there will be a palate cleanser after to ease you into recipes) I want to share with you the WORST EMAIL EVER.
Dear Parents: I am looking for a summer vacation home for my Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches. I have 5 of them (at least that is what I started with and assuming none have escaped)
Since they are decomposers, they eat their waste, exoskeletons and other debris.
An entire WORLD of DO NOT WANT. Emily told me that "Big Daddy" shed its skin yesterday in class and it was totally freaky. I AM HAPPY IN MY MAKE BELIEVE WORLD WHERE THESE CREATURES DO NOT EXIST. (Note: anyone that tries to tell me how great they are CLEARLY has never lived in hot/humid climates where Palmetto bugs live. KILL THEM ALL.)
Palate cleanser: LET US ALL PACK UP AND GO TO THERE. (Greece, that is, as it seems to be my current source of zen.)
Recipes! Y'all know how I feel about my margaritas. I have a perfected rocks version, and I have a perfected (by my sister) frozen version. They could not be improved upon! Years of sampling - hard work, I tell you, but someone has to do it - have proven that it could not be improved. AND THEN THIS HAPPENED. (This being a weekend of non-stop parties at my place.)
The New And Improved Stoney-rita
Making the Lime Cocktail:
Step one: cut a hole in the box. (How long until that stops being funny? Now? it's not funny now? Ok.) Get a shit load of
DNW zest method:
Tough, you're going to have to use it, but you can be slick and use a vegetable peeler so you can fish out the zest/peel.
Juice the limes, really get all of it. Peel off strips of zest (get as little pith as possible, or you'll get pithed. Theriousthly.) In a glass container (non-reactive, coverable) dump the juice and the zest. Mix in 1 1/2 C sugar (I did slightly less because I like it tart, if you have a sweet tooth, add 2 C)
Let this sit overnight, a minimum of 12 hours. The longer, the better. Fish out the peel, will store in the fridge for weeks, not like it will last that long, though.
WANT zest method:
Good for you. Same thing, juice all the limes, use a microplaner on about 4 or 5 limes (pre-juicing, it's just easier) and add to the juice. Stir in 1 1/2 C sugar (adjust to taste) and cover.
Refrigerate for at LEAST 12 hours, preferably 24. Will store, covered, in the fridge for weeks.
In a glass: ice cubes!
1 jigger of tequila*!
1 jigger of triple sec!
1 jigger and change of lime cocktail!
Top with club soda or mineral water! (I use Tampico with hints of lime, we loves it)
The lime cocktail makes THE most amazing difference. *TEQUILA NOTE: I'm all about the blanco tequila. I like how clean and crisp it tastes, like really good vodka can be. Just because you're mixing it doesn't mean you shouldn't use GOOD tequila. My go to is Milagro Silver, it's fantastic and mid-priced. Hornitos Silver is good, Herradura Silver is very good, and lately I've been all over Camarena Silver - excellent stuff. Just make sure it's 100% Blue Agave, that it's from Mexico, and that it's been filtered AT LEAST three times. (That's the thing that keeps the headaches away, you see.) Camarena is filtered 6 times, btw.
Other things you can do with the cocktail: mojitos! (again, just a splash is needed) add to Gin and mint and soda for a gimlet! Add to soda for a non-alcoholic treat!
Alternative: add to the lime juice/peel a good-sized knuckle of ginger, peeled and smashed (so you can fish it out later, after 12 hours.) Add that to gin, soda and mint and prepare to have your mind blown and your thirst quenched.
P-Dub's Sliders, My Style
Pioneer Woman put some burger sliders up last week, and we added our own stuff to it: chipotle bullion cubes. Seriously, the greatest and most used ingredient in my house, next to Chipotle Tabasco. That to some ground beef + pepper, minced onions and garlic powder, form golf balls (little bit bigger) and wrap half of a bacon slice around it, flattening it to a disc. She had two pieces of halved bacon on hers, but that's a lot of damn bacon and we preferred it with just the one.
We grilled one batch and smoked the other batch (mesquite wood, natch, this is Texas) and the smoked ones were unbelievable. Good, crispy bacon, flavor all the way through the meat. If your meat doesn't taste good, why bother?
We topped them with fried shallots (from the garden), good Guiness-soaked cheddar slices, and a dash of Chipotle Tabasco. Perfection on a potato roll.
That was Saturday and Monday. Sunday I made Mexican-style chicken salad (grilled chicken that had been seasoned with, you guessed it, chipotle buillion, salt, pepper, and cumin.) Roughly chop, add in diced celery (2 lbs of chicken, 2 ribs of celery) mayo, minced onion, a few dashes of chipotle Tabasco, chile powder, and put on potato rolls with butter-leaf lettuce.
Side dish to go with (aside from veggie plates and watermelon) 6 ears of corn, grilled and cut off the cob. 2 cans of drained and rinsed black beans (I was lazy and used a shortcut) I whole lime juiced over this, cumin, several dashes of Chipotle Tabasco (see?) cotija cheese crumbles, salt and pepper to taste. OM NOM.
The Best Chocolate-Cinnamon Bundt Cake ever
It's like a sheet cake (a good one) in bundt form. Super easy to whip up, too. 3 bowls, whisk, bundt pan, there's your mess to clean.
1 cup water
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1 stick (1/2 cup) butter
1/4 c plus 1 T cocoa
2 cups all-purpose flour
2 cups sugar
1/2 t salt
1 1/2 t cinnamon
1/2 c buttermilk*
1 t baking soda
(*I use buttermilk powder - that's my secret weapon in my daily bread, btw - so if you do, too, add the powder - 2T - to the flour mix, then add in 1/2 C water when you add in the eggs.)
1 t vanilla
Preheat oven to 375, GENEROUSLY grease/flour your bundt pan. (Bakers Joy, greatest thing ever. Plus, it's a must if you use Goldtone bakeware - Pam's will destroy the finish.)
In a large bowl, combine together* with a whisk: flour, sugar, salt, cinnamon. (*Add the buttermilk powder here, if using.) In a small bowl, beat the eggs and vanilla, set aside. Bring to a boil in a small pot: Water, oil, butter and cocoa. Let bubble for a few seconds, turn off heat and add this to the large bowl of flour, etc. Whisk in, it's an arm workout for a second or two. Add the buttermilk* (*or 1/2 C water) and baking soda, keep whisking. Add eggs/vanilla, mix to combine.
Pour batter into your greased Bundt pan (or two 9 inch cake pans) and bake for 35 - 40 minutes. (Mine needed the full 40, start checking at 30 - 35. It's moist, but it shouldn't be wet when tested.) Let cool for 10 minutes, invert onto cake plate, serve with a scoop of French Vanilla ice cream, moan loudly.
In other news, I continue to be woken up at 6am by Smidgen, who wants a makeout session, I guess. She jumps on my chest, head butts me to consciousness, then puts her lips on mine. On one hand, gah! Let me sleep! On the other hand, aww, she loves me. But I don't know where those lips have been!
In other, other news, Hey, Don't Judge Me almost had 30,000 hits for the month of May! That's pretty slick. Thanks for all of the support! There have been a lot of folks coming over from people's recommendations, and that's always the best.
1. Add us to your reader's feed! then you don't have to worry about missing anything. (hurr)
2. Add the feed to your LJ's flist! Do you come here more often? That's the best way to get updated, then.
3. Follow HDJM on Twitter! You'll get notified in hilarious ways. (hurr)
4. Facebook lover? Here's the Facebook page, share, like, communicate with other awesome people.
5. Come laugh about the hilarious episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey where sex was described like popping pimples! (Oh my god, so awful, this guy.)
6. Come share (non-spoilery) theories about Game of Thrones with us!
I can promise you at least one laugh, and who doesn't need a chuckle? We've got True Blood recaps coming this summer, walks down memory lane (Somewhere in Time! Valley Girl! And more!) and more. So much more....
Thank you SO MUCH for the support, I've really appreciated it.