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Fandom Dinosaur post *shakes cane*

So, it seems I have a fandom now. I have NO IDEA how it happened when the source material makes me crazed. Glee. I'm talking Glee. OK, there are parts of the show I love - anything Brittany, I mean, come on, she's awesome - anything evil Sue, Kurt, obv. and Finn when they make him not talk and he just stands there because that is the type I've had since I was 8, it ain't changing anytime soon.

So. flaming_muse posted a fic the other day (I linked yesterday) and I read it. It's Blaine/Kurt. Guys, I've not read fanfiction in... wow, almost 2 years. About as long as since I've written it.

Today I went hunting through the comms, etc., after reading every single thing Flaming Muse wrote (and honey pie, you're writing canon, as far as I'm concerned) and looking for any and all B/K fics. WOW IS THERE SOME CRAP. (She warned me, but... you just have to experience it.) And old timers around here know that I know from bad!fic, am I right?



Boypussy
weaping [sic] cock
weeping cock
leaking cock
DROOLING cock
I ought to spit in your mouth, you jerk, for writing drooling cock, how dare you!? Lol.

Also, I hate when someone labels a fic NC-17 (whoo hoo!) and it's for SWEARING. Fuck you, Miss Lonelyhearts. Put down your English Rose tea set, shove the cat off your lap, and learn how to fucking be an adult. NC-17 means one or more of the following:

rimming
detailed and graphic sex, be it anal, vaginal, oral, facial, armpital
lots of nudity
lots of wishing there was nudity (because sex while dressed is fun) BUT THERE MUST BE SEX.

Also, I had three chapters (very well written, I might add) build up some serious UST and then there was, and I'm not making this up, "They kissed and they kissed and they kissed." ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. You labeled this R, prissy prude boots!

Jesus. WHERE IS MY WELL WRITTEN SMUT? My PWPs? My agonizing multi-chaptered plotty stories with great sex scenes?! Goddamn kids these days.

And now I want to write Glee fic. SCREW YOU, UNIVERSE. I hate when I have to write my own smut. I'm awesome with the jokes, the smut is eh from me. (Well, I have some things that are pretty bad ass, I must say. BUT STILL.) I need kita0610 or sweptawaybayou or lynnenne or savoytruffle or crazydiamondsue or entrenous88 to write me some good old fashioned Jossverse-awesome pr0n. But about Kurt and Blaine.

I MISS THE OLD DAYS, GANG. I miss the free flowing, well written fanfic of yesteryear, the long long ago. Wah. And my tag is misleading. IT'S NOT EVEN BAD ENOUGH TO MOCK. (Well, there are some, but I have to make dinner now.)

ETA and it's funny how things don't change: mpreg, body switch, magical healing sex, abusive fathers, therapy fics (shudder) and the one thing that shocks me, NO SONGFIC SO FAR. FOR GLEE. I know!

Comments

( 93 comments — Leave a comment )
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killabeez
Jun. 2nd, 2011 11:46 pm (UTC)
Okay, well thanks A LOT for spreading the sickness. I just read the story you mentioned, and it's AMAZING. *fans self*

I've been in love with Kurt/Blaine for a few months now, but haven't gone looking for fic because, uh, I feared badness. This is the first time I've seen a rec for something, and now, unf.

(also adores Brittany, also finds Finn adorable when he's not talking too much :D)
stoney321
Jun. 2nd, 2011 11:55 pm (UTC)
READ ALL OF HER STORIES. All of them. Then go to her memories and read the one that is listed as her favorite. (I'll warn you, it's the one with "they kissed and..." but with that one misstep, it's REALLY fucking good. And hilarious. Sample lines:

Puck (to Blaine): Dude I could draw a hypotenuse with your eyebrows.
Brittany: There's a hypotenuse living in my basement.

LOL.
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mosrael
Jun. 2nd, 2011 11:54 pm (UTC)
so awful, it gave me capslock.
ARGH not boypussy. THEY DO NOT HAVE THESE THINGS, IT IS NOT SEXY

Well, unless you have a herm or transgender or alien character. But otherwise, we know damn well it's going in someone's butt, so let's just call it what it is, yes? tl;dr OH MY GOD WHO FAPS TO 'BOYPUSSY'
stoney321
Jun. 2nd, 2011 11:56 pm (UTC)
Re: so awful, it gave me capslock.
I HATE HATE HATE when girls write boys like they're GIRLS. THEY ARE NOT. They don't cry and eat ice cream and dream of having babies come out of their assholes. OK, I'm sure someone has thought that, BUT IT IS NOT THE NORM.
Re: so awful, it gave me capslock. - altyronsmaker - Jun. 3rd, 2011 12:31 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: so awful, it gave me capslock. - stoney321 - Jun. 3rd, 2011 12:37 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: so awful, it gave me capslock. - darkhavens - Jun. 3rd, 2011 12:55 am (UTC) - Expand
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(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Jun. 2nd, 2011 11:59 pm (UTC)
I KNOW!!! AUUUUGH, FUCK YOU FUCK FUCK FUCK <-- ok, that's an R rating. Hurr.

It's not a real fandom until you have all the weird kinks in it, imo. See: HARRY POTTER. Where's the Stacking? Where's the Furry? Where's the High School AU? That last one, wait...
replying to the right spot nao - demonqueen666 - Jun. 3rd, 2011 02:01 am (UTC) - Expand
kita0610
Jun. 3rd, 2011 12:01 am (UTC)
Oh dear god. I belong to the LJ comm Weeping Cock, and I have SEEN SOME OF THESE STORIES. (eyebleach plz kthxbai)

****you*****
stoney321
Jun. 3rd, 2011 12:05 am (UTC)
Just... I NEED THE OLD DAYS BACK. When the smut was plentiful and well written and... freaking good. WAH. There are some good fics, but MAN. Needle in a haystack.

<3
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fabrisse
Jun. 3rd, 2011 12:02 am (UTC)
Not to toot my own horn...well, only a little bit, ;-)

http://archiveofourown.org/users/Fabrisse/works?selected_tags[]=13154 The Vienna series has smut. *G*

And flaming_muse does write nice things.

Edited at 2011-06-03 12:03 am (UTC)
stoney321
Jun. 3rd, 2011 12:06 am (UTC)
MY PLAN IS WORKING.

ALL UR LINKS R BELONGING TO ME.
brunettepet
Jun. 3rd, 2011 12:17 am (UTC)
Fanfic is addictive until you trip over a weaping cock and throw up a little in your mouth and some stranger has ruined fandom forever and ever until you're addicted again.

There should be warning labels like: I write like a twelve year old because I am an old for my age ten year old.

If you run into anything decent, I love Brittany and Kurt and Kurt/Blaine.
stoney321
Jun. 3rd, 2011 12:31 am (UTC)
AHAHAHAHAHA, that's so true. And would be so helpful.

If you haven't already read the one flaming_muse wrote, go! Then read ALL of her Kurt/Blaine. I linked one up to killabeez that I'm not even finished with but is h-o-t. There's one in Flaming Muse's memories that is really good, I'll dig that one up for you.
evewithanapple
Jun. 3rd, 2011 12:34 am (UTC)
THE LACK OF PORN IS A BLIGHT UPON THE LAND. Especially since I just got into Angel and the dudes going down on ladies is CANON, and yet no one has written that fic. Hell, they haven't even written regular old missionary sex. TRAGEDY, I TELL YOU.
stoney321
Jun. 3rd, 2011 12:36 am (UTC)
WAIT. Angel? As in "The Series?" The spin off of Buffy? because OH LAWS can I direct you to some uh-may-zing fics.
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FOR STARTERS. - stoney321 - Jun. 3rd, 2011 12:48 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: FOR STARTERS. - evewithanapple - Jun. 3rd, 2011 01:01 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: FOR STARTERS. - flaming_muse - Jun. 3rd, 2011 01:03 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: FOR STARTERS. - evewithanapple - Jun. 3rd, 2011 02:43 am (UTC) - Expand
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Re: FOR STARTERS. - lynnenne - Jun. 3rd, 2011 01:38 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: FOR STARTERS. - stoney321 - Jun. 3rd, 2011 01:41 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: FOR STARTERS. - killabeez - Jun. 3rd, 2011 02:27 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: FOR STARTERS. - lynnenne - Jun. 3rd, 2011 03:42 am (UTC) - Expand
flaming_muse
Jun. 3rd, 2011 01:02 am (UTC)
Ha ha, no songfic for Glee? That's hysterical. I have seen some, but oh the irony!

There's not so much actual readable porn in Glee fandom that I've found. Umm... there's a really nicely written scene in the latest chapter of fabfemmefics's big AU 1950s WIP, and I know I've seen others here and there, but mostly it's satisfying fics with good characterization with little porn or really, really bad porn written by probably very nice but clueless teenagers.

Actually, now that I think of it most of the smut I've seen has either been in AU fics (werewolves, college age, etc.) or in Chris/Darren RPF. There's some amazing RPF, though I have to say that I love the two actors enough in RL (which is rare for me) that I have to psych myself up to be willing to read it.

Edited at 2011-06-03 01:03 am (UTC)
stoney321
Jun. 3rd, 2011 01:09 am (UTC)
I literally spent hours today reading/searching for fic. And was shocked to not find a songfic after all the weirdness started cropping up. (And you know there's some lame fic out there!)

I do wish there was more first time stuff, but kissing and all of that exploratory sexual tension is lovely, too. It's so earnest and sweet and wanting and... Awwww. <3

I have a hard time with RPF after working with Nicholas Brendon on a movie. Because I had already written it, and then there I was, helping him get dressed. LOL. Couldn't keep up the RPF stuff (and I have written LOADS back in the day. Hee.)
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lynnenne
Jun. 3rd, 2011 01:31 am (UTC)
BOYPUSSY. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Oh, darling. I miss the old days when the good fic was plentiful and the bad!fic was made fun of by you with hilarious results.
stoney321
Jun. 3rd, 2011 01:40 am (UTC)
It's SO BAD.

Now I'm finding loads (thanks to the flist for the recs) but they're all so... chaste. Ha.

I'm such a curmudgeon lately that I don't even have the energy to hunt for the REALLY bad ones. Ah, the good old days...
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Jun. 3rd, 2011 02:17 am (UTC)
Darkhavens filled me in on reremouse, too, YAY! I've found a couple of h-o-t HOT fics tonight, so I feel better. (And of course, I've started writing a fic, but it's just a funny filler, as is tradition.)

Thank you for laughing at armpital. I can always count on you.
(Deleted comment)
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entrenous88
Jun. 3rd, 2011 01:56 am (UTC)
NC-17, honestly, I sometimes get annoyed when there's no kink! For *swearing*? LOL!

I'm psyched for you, though, that you're feeling it for a new fandom! That's such an adreneline/excitement/obsession rush, suddenly finding yourself in the middle of a series and finding fanworks and realizing that you have to write the epic story of two young men, searching, growing, learning all about boypussy (YOU SEE HOW I SLIPPED THAT IN THERE?).

I wish so many of us were still in the same fandoms! Hell, I wish I had a new fandom love. I'm ready to get hurt again, new fandoms! :D:
stoney321
Jun. 3rd, 2011 02:18 am (UTC)
FOR. SWEARING. I mean, I ask you!!!

J, I have spent HOURS today reading fic. I've not done that in ... gosh, ANGEL days! And lol, I will have to write that!

Come to the Glee-side! The show is ok, but Kurt/Blaine are ADORBS.
menomegirl
Jun. 3rd, 2011 02:16 am (UTC)
BOYPUSSY.

Oh Lord.

I agree with you about the NC-17 but .... it's really hard finding like real NC-17 nowadays.
stoney321
Jun. 3rd, 2011 02:19 am (UTC)
It is SUPER hard. I'm finding some good hard R at skintightsocks and have already read, like, three fics since making this post. ;)
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When you're no longer ill - stoney321 - Jun. 3rd, 2011 02:53 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: When you're no longer ill - menomegirl - Jun. 3rd, 2011 02:58 am (UTC) - Expand
pghbekka
Jun. 3rd, 2011 05:38 am (UTC)
So, I'm not a Gleek, but I do know some quality writers in my other fandoms who are. If I post that you're looking (only to the trusted few), can I send them here to offer you recs? My slash fandoms are all canon, so it helps to alleviate (though sadly not eliminate), some of the boypussy and mpreg, etc.
stoney321
Jun. 3rd, 2011 12:43 pm (UTC)
OF COURSE! People taking the time to share with me? Awesome. Thank you!
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Jun. 3rd, 2011 12:46 pm (UTC)
SO YOU KNOW I WROTE THAT VERY THING YEARS AGO. *cough* Oh lord, it was seven years ago. *feels ancient*

http://stoney321.livejournal.com/33627.html#cutid1

WEE! SPIKE: THE MUSICAL.
(Deleted comment)
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Re: 'EY..FANGOOL... - stoney321 - Jun. 3rd, 2011 10:12 pm (UTC) - Expand
mockingbirdq
Jun. 3rd, 2011 06:59 am (UTC)
Share what you find ;)
Man, I've become so obsessed with Glee fandom the past few months, especially Klaine. There are some absolutely awful fics in the fandom - I assume being written by 14 year old virgin fangirls like my niece who is my little Gleek minion.

Good fics, other than by flaming_muse?
Rm writes heartbreakingly realistic fics. I loved the series that starts with "Following Home" and there are some R/NC-17 rated parts later. http://rm.livejournal.com/2048382.html

Mary Flanner is great. "How it Ends" is one I cannot read with tearing up... Second part is R at least! http://mary-flanner.livejournal.com/2937.html

A few cute, hot and awkward first time sex fics:
http://skintightsocks.livejournal.com/1433.html
http://gleekilicious.livejournal.com/864.html

The hot NC-17 Klaine porn seems to be mainly of the supernatural/AU variety...The Glee kink meme does have all kinds of hotness if you dig through it long enough too!

I will admit a huge love of the "Weightless" series despite the fact that it features non-con, sorta-evil Blaine and Winged!Kurt ;P

mockingbirdq
Jun. 3rd, 2011 07:54 am (UTC)
More hotness
Ooh... Just stumbled onto Cimmerians' "One Million Invisible Lines" and there are other R/NC-17 fics on their LJ: http://cimmerians.livejournal.com/
Re: Share what you find ;) - stoney321 - Jun. 3rd, 2011 12:41 pm (UTC) - Expand
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( 93 comments — Leave a comment )

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Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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