So. flaming_muse posted a fic the other day (I linked yesterday) and I read it. It's Blaine/Kurt. Guys, I've not read fanfiction in... wow, almost 2 years. About as long as since I've written it.
Today I went hunting through the comms, etc., after reading every single thing Flaming Muse wrote (and honey pie, you're writing canon, as far as I'm concerned) and looking for any and all B/K fics. WOW IS THERE SOME CRAP. (She warned me, but... you just have to experience it.) And old timers around here know that I know from bad!fic, am I right?
weaping [sic] cock
I ought to spit in your mouth, you jerk, for writing drooling cock, how dare you!? Lol.
Also, I hate when someone labels a fic NC-17 (whoo hoo!) and it's for SWEARING. Fuck you, Miss Lonelyhearts. Put down your English Rose tea set, shove the cat off your lap, and learn how to fucking be an adult. NC-17 means one or more of the following:
detailed and graphic sex, be it anal, vaginal, oral, facial, armpital
lots of nudity
lots of wishing there was nudity (because sex while dressed is fun) BUT THERE MUST BE SEX.
Also, I had three chapters (very well written, I might add) build up some serious UST and then there was, and I'm not making this up, "They kissed and they kissed and they kissed." ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. You labeled this R, prissy prude boots!
Jesus. WHERE IS MY WELL WRITTEN SMUT? My PWPs? My agonizing multi-chaptered plotty stories with great sex scenes?! Goddamn kids these days.
And now I want to write Glee fic. SCREW YOU, UNIVERSE. I hate when I have to write my own smut. I'm awesome with the jokes, the smut is eh from me. (Well, I have some things that are pretty bad ass, I must say. BUT STILL.) I need kita0610 or sweptawaybayou or lynnenne or savoytruffle or crazydiamondsue or entrenous88 to write me some good old fashioned Jossverse-awesome pr0n. But about Kurt and Blaine.
I MISS THE OLD DAYS, GANG. I miss the free flowing, well written fanfic of yesteryear, the long long ago. Wah. And my tag is misleading. IT'S NOT EVEN BAD ENOUGH TO MOCK. (Well, there are some, but I have to make dinner now.)
ETA and it's funny how things don't change: mpreg, body switch, magical healing sex, abusive fathers, therapy fics (shudder) and the one thing that shocks me, NO SONGFIC SO FAR. FOR GLEE. I know!