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Fandom Dinosaur post *shakes cane*

So, it seems I have a fandom now. I have NO IDEA how it happened when the source material makes me crazed. Glee. I'm talking Glee. OK, there are parts of the show I love - anything Brittany, I mean, come on, she's awesome - anything evil Sue, Kurt, obv. and Finn when they make him not talk and he just stands there because that is the type I've had since I was 8, it ain't changing anytime soon.

So. flaming_muse posted a fic the other day (I linked yesterday) and I read it. It's Blaine/Kurt. Guys, I've not read fanfiction in... wow, almost 2 years. About as long as since I've written it.

Today I went hunting through the comms, etc., after reading every single thing Flaming Muse wrote (and honey pie, you're writing canon, as far as I'm concerned) and looking for any and all B/K fics. WOW IS THERE SOME CRAP. (She warned me, but... you just have to experience it.) And old timers around here know that I know from bad!fic, am I right?



Boypussy
weaping [sic] cock
weeping cock
leaking cock
DROOLING cock
I ought to spit in your mouth, you jerk, for writing drooling cock, how dare you!? Lol.

Also, I hate when someone labels a fic NC-17 (whoo hoo!) and it's for SWEARING. Fuck you, Miss Lonelyhearts. Put down your English Rose tea set, shove the cat off your lap, and learn how to fucking be an adult. NC-17 means one or more of the following:

rimming
detailed and graphic sex, be it anal, vaginal, oral, facial, armpital
lots of nudity
lots of wishing there was nudity (because sex while dressed is fun) BUT THERE MUST BE SEX.

Also, I had three chapters (very well written, I might add) build up some serious UST and then there was, and I'm not making this up, "They kissed and they kissed and they kissed." ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. You labeled this R, prissy prude boots!

Jesus. WHERE IS MY WELL WRITTEN SMUT? My PWPs? My agonizing multi-chaptered plotty stories with great sex scenes?! Goddamn kids these days.

And now I want to write Glee fic. SCREW YOU, UNIVERSE. I hate when I have to write my own smut. I'm awesome with the jokes, the smut is eh from me. (Well, I have some things that are pretty bad ass, I must say. BUT STILL.) I need kita0610 or sweptawaybayou or lynnenne or savoytruffle or crazydiamondsue or entrenous88 to write me some good old fashioned Jossverse-awesome pr0n. But about Kurt and Blaine.

I MISS THE OLD DAYS, GANG. I miss the free flowing, well written fanfic of yesteryear, the long long ago. Wah. And my tag is misleading. IT'S NOT EVEN BAD ENOUGH TO MOCK. (Well, there are some, but I have to make dinner now.)

ETA and it's funny how things don't change: mpreg, body switch, magical healing sex, abusive fathers, therapy fics (shudder) and the one thing that shocks me, NO SONGFIC SO FAR. FOR GLEE. I know!

Comments

killabeez
Jun. 3rd, 2011 12:16 am (UTC)
Brittany: There's a hypotenuse living in my basement.

LMAO. Thank God I didn't have liquid in my mouth just then.
stoney321
Jun. 3rd, 2011 12:28 am (UTC)
http://cimmerians.livejournal.com/36842.html

Not even finished, but so far, so HOT.

Tags

Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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