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wow. champagne tastes good

Crazy stalker neighbors came over to play cards. Are serioiusly right wing. Convinced them that teaching sex ed in school is not wrong. WTF? Got them with the following argument: teaching about your body's changes is natural like catching a virus or teaching fractions. "Well, I think it oversteps boundaries by teaching sex ed, and I don't think the school should decide ehat is important." So, should we quit teaching fractions? I mean, aren't you teaching that to your kids? You're a fucking moron.

I think it was the "you're a fucking moron" that made them concede. I'm like a master debator and shit. SUE!! Worked your joke in! Right? This seems HILARIOUS to me.

Watched "Rudolph the Red nosed Reindeer tonight with the kids and decided it's the WORST MESSAGE EVER to teach your kids. Example: Santa checks out Donner's new baby. "Oh, he's beautiful! And smart! WTF! Look at that disfigurement! SHAME ON YOU." Santa actually says "shame on you." WOW. Then everyone hates the crippled reindeer and he runs away. And meets the gay, dentist elf. Misfit is code for gay, BTW. No one gives a shit about them until they need something from them. NICE. Oh! And at the beginning the elves sing a song for Santa and he's all pissy about them wasting his time. Santa's a cock!!

Wow. Good thing I don't believe in hell or I'd be shaking in my boots right about now. Mr. Stoney is "wanting" me, so i think this should just end. My god. Have I made any sense? I made an icon. It might suck. Lesson: champange = tasty. 2 bottles alone? Maybe a bit much. I have corrected a bunch of words. I love my flist. Need Wesley soundtrack............


( 25 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 17th, 2004 10:10 pm (UTC)
OMG yes! Jake turned it off. He said, "I don't like these people!" And he's only EIGHT. I love my kid.

Fucktarded Xmas movie.
Dec. 18th, 2004 06:38 am (UTC)
it IS!! My son hates it, he also is eight - soon to be nine.

"Island of Misfit Toys" DOOD! And they still air this steaming pile of wrongness every year!
Dec. 17th, 2004 10:53 pm (UTC)
I love you too!
Don't teach sex ed...let them find out on their own so they can have lots of babies and STDs when to pointy bit goes into the hole part... :p

Santa is a cock. And an opportunist. And Misfit IS 60s for Gay...Roudolf and Hermie should have let Santa hang! He got his big red ass into the situation!

See, I do believe in Hell, mostly cause I believe that's where I'm headed with a first class ticket *g* Okay, fine, bullshit, I don't believe in Hell either. But if there was one that's where I'd be going *g*
Dec. 18th, 2004 06:40 am (UTC)
Re: I love you too!
Wow. Thinking back on the bullshit this asshole said over my dining room table... Started with the whole "in the Bible" line, and I jumped down his throat.

Lot: don't screw the angel, Mr. Soddomites. Here are my daughters to ravage.
Lots daughters: everyone's dead. Let's bang dad and get pregnant.

Noah: yay! water's gone! *gluggluglug - pass out* Hey, dad... whoah! Dad's naked! Son, I curse you with a mark that weirdo white supremecist will say is black people. (No one ever says he was cursed with a mark that was WHITE skin. Interesting...)

Yeah, this is why I slugged through a few bottle of alkeehaul.
Dec. 18th, 2004 10:09 am (UTC)
Re: I love you too!
Hell, I'd slug through a few bottles too...at least then you'd be able to find it funny. :p

There's this uber right wing conservative christian chick on this forum I post on. I had to down a glass of rum when I read some of the shit she was posting about Canada. Apparently we're a country of pinko child molesters who are slowly purging religion from our daily life Mwahahahahaha :p
Dec. 17th, 2004 11:54 pm (UTC)
I'm like a master debator and shit.

Heehee! That's one of the reasons why I love you so.

Also, re: Rudolph, I concur! I also re-watched that one recently. I never show that one to my kids. It's old school, but in that bad sort of way. Santa's a real jerk to everyone. Rudolph should have told them all to eff off. What a bunch of users.

Waita sec...Misfit is code for gay? So The Misfits from Jem were all lesbians? They were like the glam 80s Indigo Girls? Neato!
Dec. 18th, 2004 06:42 am (UTC)
Oh, yeah! Except Jem was TOTALLY bisexual. She wanted a big-time crossover ep with He-Man. Except she didn't realize he was just gay, not bi. Poor, Jem.

You should make your kids watch Old Yeller, Where the Red Fern Grows and Sounder on the last day of holiday break. That'll sober the little shits up.
Dec. 18th, 2004 12:33 am (UTC)
You drank TWO bottles of champaigne - wooo! You the woman! Remember to sleep on your side to stop choking icidents in the night.

You are funny with your drunk posts and your flist loves you back, you have made some sense, your icon is wonderful, I hate to think what this post looked like before you corrected a 'bunch of words' and you go girl for instigating a stimulating intellectual debate with your crazy stalker neighbours. "You're a fucking moron", the trump card in any debate.

Go to bed my little drunk stoney. *tucks you in bed, sticks a bucket by your side*
Dec. 18th, 2004 06:44 am (UTC)
Hee hee! I am the most expensive drunk known. By the time I toddled off to bed I was just thirsty. No "Janis Joplin" end was met.

My post looked like this before I corrected it: ojo hgmygod, iam fuhkin drunc. rudolpf! f,uhjikn rudolh! and dum hik so sosos dum and secz ed is bad/;? fuhkihd kidding mes?> n shit?

Man, the icon was SUPPOSED to read: DENTIST: 60s code for gay, but I wasn't paying attention to my head...
(Deleted comment)
Dec. 18th, 2004 06:46 am (UTC)
OOOO!! Iforgot the worst part! Poor Bumble: they pull his teeth out as a solution to him "bothering" the working folks! Then the propsector comes in with him at the end and says "this Bumble's reformed! He wants a JOB! Look at what he can do!"

WHAT IS THE MESSAGE HERE?? Good Lord. *polishes her glasses a la Giles*

Oh, snuggling with warm kiddoes is divine.
Dec. 18th, 2004 06:04 am (UTC)
*pets you*

You're right, I never thought about the horrible messages. But the Island of Misfit Toys makes me cry every time.
Dec. 18th, 2004 06:49 am (UTC)
I KNOW!!! Wow. It's like "Leper Island" or "Wheelchair Island." Good. Lord. I'd rather watch a sob fest like "My Dog Skip" (is the dog dead? Is it the kid's fault? Will he shoot himself before the end of the movie?) than let my kids watch this white supremist propaganda.

Poor little broken toys... At least there wasn't a big fire box on the island that Santa shoved them all in as the elves marched away in perfect lines, hands straight and outstretched.
(Deleted comment)
Dec. 18th, 2004 07:43 am (UTC)
see what happens when you make icons when drunk? Fixed it. You're subtle.
oh, Sue, I was trapped between a liquor glass and a Baptist (a beer drinking one, so doesn't that make him a Methodist? Huh.) until 11 o'clock last night. BAH! At one point, Mr. Stoney told him he was "retarded" for allowing the stupidity to come out of his mouth.

This couple, who have elected to not have children (there is nothing wrong with that, I'll illustrate a point further on with this info) said the following after I told them that it can't be black and white with kids: It IS black and white with kids. You tell all kids one thing, and if they are good kids, they'll do it. !!!! So, that autistic child who doesn't hear a word you are saying is a bad kid because they didn't carry their plate to the sink? Or the kid without hands? FUCK. YOU. I shot him so full of holes, I think he may finally come out of the closet. ha ha ha!

Normally I think "cartoon, WTF" too, but when Morgan looks at my horrified (for those reading, she's my number 2 and 7 years old) and tells me how awful it is that they pulled the Bumble's teeth out to subdue him... Something's jacked up. And then they take his owie, crippled body and put him to work. It's like a Karl Rove enlistment film.

Hows about tired and headachey posts today? (And yes, I will allow the infidelity. Because I love you.)
(Deleted comment)
Dec. 18th, 2004 09:33 am (UTC)
Re: see what happens when you make icons when drunk? Fixed it. You're subtle.
Can you really lead a fulfilling life with your most important contribution to society being your ability to reach the top of the tree sans ladder? (If so, Caza's set.)

You mean not everyone can do that?!? Ah well, at least my life is fulfilled. Yay.
Dec. 18th, 2004 09:35 am (UTC)
I'm a sap at heart
You know, I love the baby new year claymation (h-h-happy! Look at those ears!) even though the message is, if you're ugly, be good natured about people making fun of you and then do your fucking job.

And the "Heatmeizer/Freezemeizer" ones, and "SMall One" and now I feel dorky. We need some Hannukah claymations, dammit!! I need more Hebrew on air than Fiddler on the Roof. But I'll take it.
Dec. 18th, 2004 02:12 pm (UTC)
Re: I'm a sap at heart
The Heatmeizer/Freezemeizer was my FAVORITE.

Rudolph blows. (um not Herbie). Santa's a dick.
Dec. 18th, 2004 08:00 am (UTC)
Cartoons are not for children. At all, haven't found a one that is. And I haven't watched Christmas cartoons for so many years, because of all these reasons. A pity that when I have children I'll have to subject them to it so they can talk about it with the other kids and not feel like social outcasts.

I think I need to go back to my faithful wine habit, this rum stuff knocking me out way to early.
Dec. 18th, 2004 08:24 am (UTC)
Man, that's what my kids love best, tho.
Teen Titans
Buggs (duh - it's the best)
Tom & Jerry

One of those is always on the telly. Um, and not because I like them. No siree.

Wine: good for you and tasty, too.
Dec. 18th, 2004 08:32 am (UTC)
Wine. The fifth food group. Get your 5 servings a day.
(Deleted comment)
Dec. 18th, 2004 11:07 am (UTC)
Not me! Stick that thingy in my pisser!
See, I was drunk when I made the icon, and I meant for it to be "DENTOOST" = gay. Misfit = handicapable. Freaking Island of Misfit Toys? I have another name for that = Dachau. Fucking bastard claymation-atron-ulators.

Man, these neighbors are SERIOUSLY right wing. While they drink and smoke and asked us (in whispered voice) about scoring some weed. Dumbasses. I'm not sharing my weed with you! The Republican Party is full of weirdoes. Like our dad.

Speaking, of that's where I learned about the birds and bees. Dad made me charts and had the "Mother's Encyclopedia" (whatever happened to that? The disease pics were cool) out to show me what was happening to my body. NOT UNCOMFORTABLE AT ALL. I am being sarcastic.

Remember the pic of the kid who got stung by a bee and it's all Dick & Jane looking? And the "make your own marionette!" page? What a random thing for a reference book on illness. Our house was fun!
Dec. 18th, 2004 11:58 pm (UTC)
dude, you're a genius. dentist=gay. I can back that up. I have known many dentists.

I almost asked Sue for your phone number today so that I could call you during my road trip and tell you that the "Stillness," "Fred," and "Wesley" mixes combine to make the best driving music EVER. yay for champagne!
Dec. 19th, 2004 09:57 am (UTC)
I have to say that "Fred" is one of my 3 faves. I'm so glad you like it. The "Threnedy" piece didn't make you have a wreck, then?

Hope you are having fun with your family and Smash. Tell me stories when you get back.

(and you can call me anytime!)
Dec. 20th, 2004 10:32 am (UTC)
This was the best entry I've ever read. :D
Dec. 20th, 2004 02:00 pm (UTC)
Bwah ha ha. Good one. At one point I was typing reaaaally hard with one eye open. Niiice.
Dec. 20th, 2004 04:33 pm (UTC)
So much icon love. Even though it will never love me back, as I am a chick.

I was also pretty much thinking Santa was a complete prick. When I wasn't translating the whole thing into angsty fanfic in my head with all the characters recast as Buffyverse characters. Herbie was Spike, and Rudolf was Xander, and the Bumble was Angel. Then I got kind of distracted by Clarice, and it turned into a Silence of the Lambs crossover.
( 25 comments — Leave a comment )


Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

Time Wot It Is

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