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So that's a thing now. Chocolate parties? Like Yankee Candles and Pampered Chef and all of the other stoopid pyramid scheme parties that lure women into spending money on "things they need." SORRY. Grew up with a mother that partook in every single damn pyramid, oh, pardon me, "multi-level marketing" opportunity that came her way. No, we don't need electricity, you buy that starter kit of vitamins for skin. Which we'll end up using because you won't be able to sell it to anyone.

Can't I just buy my chocolate like a normal person? Filled with shame at the checkout, like God intended? LOL.

(One mom at the swim lessons is cozying up to me and I knew from the start we had nothing in common. And the "you should come to my chocolate party!" was the clencher.) Guys, I am so good with being by myself, I do not need to just be with people for the sake of it. Does that make me a bad person? Eh.

I am so glad my sister is coming up this weekend, because I have an excuse to make THESE OH MY GOD. It'll be near 100, so frozen boozy melon = YES PLEASE. Also, I got the Mr. an outdoor sound system so we can crank the tunes to 11 and hear them with crisp clarity, so a good time shall be had, I THEREBY DECREE.

QUERSTSHUN FOR THE MASSES: I know y'all are probably weary of me constantly linking to HDJM (well, come on, I'm proud of it, and how else will people know about it?) so I have a poll under the cut to hear your thoughts on yaoi.


Poll #1755136 How to market yourself in a less douchey way

Stoney, how you've been pushing your new site is:

douchey. SHUT UP, god.
3(4.2%)
a bit irritating, I want to hear all about you doing other boring things. It's why I come here.
10(13.9%)
just fine.
53(73.6%)
I have no opinion on the matter.
5(6.9%)
not enough! You should be doing (I'll tell you in comments.)
1(1.4%)

I think going to sites like ontd_[fandom related] and posting a link to HDJM is:

a terrible idea, you shouldn't pimp yourself in those places.
3(5.1%)
a great idea, there's an untapped market!
29(49.2%)
a terrible idea for YOU to do, you should get someone else to do it! GRIN.
27(45.8%)

I've not linked to your site on my LJ/Tumblr/FB/DW/blog because

I hate you and everything you stand for. Why would I promote y'all?
2(2.5%)
because I don't think of doing it? I mean, are you needing me to?
29(36.2%)
I don't ever pimp or rec anything, that's not my style.
11(13.8%)
because I never thought of it! I SHOULD TOTALLY DO THAT.
12(15.0%)
this is a blank option, because I know some of you like to click on shit. You're welcome.
26(32.5%)

Random tick-offs for people uncomfortable with answering the above questions (aka being awesome.)

smiley face! :)
13(6.9%)
laughy face! :D
19(10.1%)
shocked & sad face! D:
5(2.6%)
monkey face! :(|)
26(13.8%)
rocker face! lml -_- lml
24(12.7%)
crab face! V.v.V
21(11.1%)
robot face! [:|]
20(10.6%)
POOP! ~@~
16(8.5%)
Stoney, you need food in your system. (Yes, yes I do.)
45(23.8%)




ION, that thing I posted yesterday about my daughter? She told me this morning how glad she was that I was taking things back. That she thought about it and doesn't think that's really "her style." Have I mentioned how much I love my kid? Because I do. She's a good egg.

Oh, and the correct response to "are you needing me to do that?" is YES. :)

Comments

( 52 comments — Leave a comment )
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mpoetess
Jun. 23rd, 2011 06:44 pm (UTC)
I love that poop is tied for 1st place.
stoney321
Jun. 23rd, 2011 06:44 pm (UTC)
Hell yeah it is! FIBER, AM I RIGHT? high-five!
a_mistletoe
Jun. 23rd, 2011 06:45 pm (UTC)
I wanted to click all the boxes. I have seen none of these programmes but read every review so I feel I have the best of both worlds. *poky tongue out face*

Your daughter is very sound and is whom you deserve *beamy face*

Is it real chocolate or one of those disgusting chocolate fountains that you stick things in and then drip all over the carpet and your hands leaving the thing you dipped bare? *not that I have suffered one of those but I'm just saying face*
stoney321
Jun. 23rd, 2011 06:56 pm (UTC)
YOU ARE MY FAVORITE. Expect a bumper sticker declaring you so within weeks.

I know I'm getting hits, I can see that I typically get several hundred hits from my LJ, but the comments aren't there, and obv. I want to expand so more people can see how funny my writers are. :)

It's chocolate products, like boxes of chocolate this, chocolate sauce that, chocolate BBQ sauce, chocolate salad dressing (I'm not joking) and - ugh. No thanks. Not for me.
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... - a_mistletoe - Jun. 23rd, 2011 07:38 pm (UTC) - Expand
brunettepet
Jun. 23rd, 2011 07:09 pm (UTC)
Chocolate parties, the new bunco? Hell, ladies, I have the technology to open and drink a bottle of wine all on my own and taste test several different types of chocolate with my husband if I feel in need of bonding.

The melon looks delicious and I think I'm going to make the gingerbread Belgian ale ice cream this weekend. Dessert+alcohol+freezing is the perfect summer treat. I am just back from walking and I can't believe I am having to take two liters of water along with me I am sweating so much. It would be embarrassing to pass out on somebody's lawn...
brunettepet
Jun. 23rd, 2011 07:11 pm (UTC)
I just read your post about your daughter's purchases. I can see the peer pressure wheels turning from here.
... - stoney321 - Jun. 23rd, 2011 07:16 pm (UTC) - Expand
tinkerbell86ca
Jun. 23rd, 2011 07:14 pm (UTC)
Chocolate party? Pyramid much?

Good on your daughter! *claps hands*
stoney321
Jun. 23rd, 2011 07:17 pm (UTC)
Yeah, it's totally a pyramid. Blech.

I KNOW, RIGHT!?
... - tinkerbell86ca - Jun. 23rd, 2011 07:20 pm (UTC) - Expand
luvxander
Jun. 23rd, 2011 07:18 pm (UTC)
You know what you totally need? You need banners so that we can put them in our LJ Bio and do a permalink to Hey, Don't Judge Me. I have liked on Facebook, but I feel the need to do something more permanent. (also, I have no clue how to go about making these banners or codes and things)

I totally need to make those melons!!
stoney321
Jun. 23rd, 2011 07:20 pm (UTC)
OOOOOH. That is an excellent idea! I shall get on that post haste. THANK YOU. You are one of my best supporters, CJ. (And you know I'm doing those glee recaps as if you and I were watching them together, right?)

<3
... - luvxander - Jun. 23rd, 2011 07:23 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Jun. 23rd, 2011 07:36 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - luvxander - Jun. 23rd, 2011 07:39 pm (UTC) - Expand
withoutwords
Jun. 23rd, 2011 07:22 pm (UTC)
Lady Stoney, I adore you and your polls of goodness. And your website of awesomesauce (because as much as I love "Game of Thrones", I love the reviews even more). Keep up the great work!
stoney321
Jun. 23rd, 2011 07:37 pm (UTC)
THANK YOU, KIND MADAM! *affects overly snotty British accent* I thank you, m'lady for your words of kindness and - dare I say - support.
... - luvxander - Jun. 23rd, 2011 07:40 pm (UTC) - Expand
parthenia14
Jun. 23rd, 2011 07:43 pm (UTC)
Sorry about the icon.

Yankee Candles? OMG that sounds like some sort of uncomfortable kink. (what are they?)

(yeah, sorry, I'm just here to fill gaps in my cultural knowledge)

Ew, chocolate parties. Super-duper posh chocolate? I actually don't like chocolate apart from the really cheap stuff, but no-one will ever believe me.
stoney321
Jun. 23rd, 2011 07:48 pm (UTC)
Oh, but I LOVE chocolate! I just don't want to buy THEME chocolate that's over priced.

Google Yankee Candles: they're scented candles people sell at parties. They're... intense. (Blueberry pie scent, for example. Gag.)
shannon_f_r
Jun. 23rd, 2011 07:49 pm (UTC)
Probably your daughter won't want to hear this and won't believe it if she does, but someday she'll be thinking about how to dress more conservatively to avoid unwanted attention. Yesterday, I got called "super sexy" out of the blue by a 50-year-old guy standing a little too close to me in a parking lot, catcalled by construction workers on my way to the university library, and flirted with while I was just TRYING TO READ MY FRICKIN BOOK on the subway. From speaking to other young women of my acquaintance, I know that this isn't because I'm particularly hot, but because I'm a woman and under 40 and I was wearing a dress and heels and men have no problem drawing my attention to these facts. It was entertaining--briefly--when I was 16, but it got tiresome a long time ago. I don't like being ogled when I'm doing chest presses (ooh! naughty!) at the gym and I don't like reading on facebook that it's my fault if I get aggressive and unwanted attention when I'm just trying to look nice for my husband on his birthday. So it sounds like maybe your daughter came to part of this realization on her own, but if she comes home with any more rompers, tell her that if she isn't getting it already, male attention is going to get old, fast.
stoney321
Jun. 23rd, 2011 08:29 pm (UTC)
Ugh, what a gross experience, I'm sorry. Yeah, those moments suck.
kuzu_no_ha
Jun. 23rd, 2011 08:08 pm (UTC)
1. pyramid parties of death. I went to one recently, it was pampered chef. NOT ENOUGH ALCOHOL, is what I'm trying to say

2. Chocolate? I bet it's crappy chocolate too. yeeks.

3. Your daughter rocks. Did she get outside fashion help while she was at the mall with friends? I'm also very excited she came to the conclusion that it wasn't her style. *love*

4.Backing up to say, my husband sent me that melon recipe link the other day. It look delicious and it's fruit so it's HEALTHY.

5. I like numbers today.
stoney321
Jun. 23rd, 2011 08:30 pm (UTC)
GOD, I hated the pampered chef parties. I DO NOT WANT A PIZZA STONE. I don't eat enough pizza to justify it.

I BELIEVE THAT MELON RECIPE IS HEALTHY, TOO. Ha. <3
dovil
Jun. 23rd, 2011 08:26 pm (UTC)
Wait, chocolate parties are pyramid scheme thingeys? By the time someone had explained that to me I would have eaten half the product and turned to them with a face smeared with chocolate going "What?!?".

I don't know what ontd is, but pimping is always a good idea, because they do the work and you get the cash. My mother taught me well.
stoney321
Jun. 23rd, 2011 08:32 pm (UTC)
You don't get to really eat a lot of chocolate, they show you the products. UM, HUH?

"Ohnotheydidnt" - that comm. There are spin offs, like ontd_politics, ontd_glee, ontd_supernatural, etc.

I just don't know if it's tacky for ME to post there. I'm doing some digging in their "here's what we accept" posts.
ryokomusouka
Jun. 23rd, 2011 08:31 pm (UTC)
I don't pimp ya 'cause I don't haves da traffics. :(

I don't mind the HDJM, but I love reading your more mundane stuffs too. <3
stoney321
Jun. 23rd, 2011 08:33 pm (UTC)
Pfft, people sharing links is just cool over all! ;)

Awww, thanks. I love that someone will listen to my inane prattle. Ha!
rocketlaunching
Jun. 23rd, 2011 08:39 pm (UTC)
Make these too while you're at it :D http://www.justataste.com/2011/06/strawberry-margarita-ice-pops/

I just like clicking things, you're right.
stoney321
Jun. 23rd, 2011 08:51 pm (UTC)
OM NOM NOM OK!

I know, I do, too. (Which is why I always fill out my own polls, lol.)
txvoodoo
Jun. 23rd, 2011 09:29 pm (UTC)
I am happy to pimp anything I like. Conversely, I only pimp things I like.

You know where you are in that equation.
stoney321
Jun. 23rd, 2011 09:42 pm (UTC)
AND I THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT <-- say like Bartles & James, because peach wine coolers used to be delicious. Lol.

<3 <3 <3 to you for all the tweeting, REALLY.
zyrya
Jun. 23rd, 2011 10:31 pm (UTC)
The only problem I have with HJQLMOP is that I can't remember what the proper letters are. Oh wait, no it's that individual contributions aren't attributed so it looks like one person is writing every article.

:(|)
stoney321
Jun. 23rd, 2011 10:39 pm (UTC)
Well, I'll be damned! I've never noticed that - I look mostly on the back end where each poster is credited. Now I'm off to fix that, I feel terrible!
... - stoney321 - Jun. 23rd, 2011 11:00 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - zyrya - Jun. 24th, 2011 02:30 am (UTC) - Expand
love_your_ego
Jun. 23rd, 2011 11:10 pm (UTC)
Your booze-filled melon is much classier than mine. http://imgur.com/jHSJ9 It was so delicious and boozy though.

I shall pimp HDJM at every opportunity. I look forward to the recaps just as much, if not more than the actual shows.
stoney321
Jun. 23rd, 2011 11:23 pm (UTC)
OMG, I lol'd at that watermelon, AHAHAHA! That's called a faster delivery system, I believe. :D

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU, that is so nice to hear!!
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( 52 comments — Leave a comment )

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Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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