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First. I've watched this grow from email flailings (mostly mine, ha) to something so gorgeous and perfect and sweet and...it's AFTERGLOW. In fic form. Together, by (who else) flaming_muse. It's not porny, because...that would feel intrusive. I know everyone is looking for the dirty dirty since the episode aired, and that feels so wrong to me. Because...it was about love, you know? <--DORK. Whatever.

Look, I've been listening to overwrought French rap about passion and longing for an hour now, so come on, give me a break.

I was just... maudlin yesterday, bursting into tears at the drop of a - oh, wait, was another hat dropped? *crey* There's something connected to "first times" with me, and I think I figured it out (as in figured out my trauma, because I'm apparently slow) that it's about where the future takes you. Maybe it's not the same for dudes, but good lord was that the case for me. I was pressured into my first sexual experience, causing me to spiral into what I call my Mormon Rumspringa (lol) And this was the time that led to me giving up on one of my biggest dreams ever. And it [that long-ago dream] is just not going to happen in my life, because hello, passage of time and life, etc.

And my first wasn't great. At all. And that let to other aspects of myself forced to change into something I didn't set out to be, if that makes sense. So. When I read/watch something where those moments are as they should be, as it was imagined to be and then IS, I just kind of have all of these emotions build of of "what if" and the like. But then I let go of that and remember that my second time was absolutely beautiful. :)

But this story I'm linking you? That's how it's supposed to be after. 100% <3


( 13 comments — Leave a comment )
Nov. 10th, 2011 10:58 pm (UTC)
I have so many hugs and so much love for you. Let's be dorks together. And let's pretend that everything in life goes exactly as it should.

And I love you for using the word Rumspringa, although this should not surprise me.
Nov. 10th, 2011 11:09 pm (UTC)

Ahaha, this is why we are friends, because we enjoy the peculiarities of religious language. :D

(zomg, you should be sleeping!)
Nov. 10th, 2011 11:17 pm (UTC)
Ooh! Let's talk about eschatology and liminal spaces! (It is very, very easy to get me to geek out about religion, as you will discover - I hope to your delight - in New York.)

ZOMG I should have called the doctor today, that's what I should have done. But I was feeling a bit better until I stopped writing all of my meds wore off, and now I am sure I have at least one ear infection. I'll have to call in the morning.
Nov. 10th, 2011 11:41 pm (UTC)

I just filled your inbox with my mothering, because I haaaaaate that I can't stomp over there and fix you myself. <3
Nov. 11th, 2011 02:29 am (UTC)
you're not me! :(((

(ugh, first times. STONEY. I KEEP HAVING ALL THE FEELINGS. I officially LOST MY SHIT at Tina's Speech of Awesome and just never found it again.)

ok I'm gonna go read that fic now.
Nov. 11th, 2011 03:21 am (UTC)
LAURA. Read her fic. Then read ALL of her fics. Life will have meaning, I promise.

<3 <3 <3

Nov. 11th, 2011 03:37 am (UTC)
Ha ha! I'm a Mennonite (well, culturally) so I totally laughed at your Mormon Rumspringa phrase. I keep waiting for an afterglow fic to come to me, but instead I've been fixated on the Roxy Music scene and wrote about that today. Maybe now that I've gotten the "ohmigod Blaine was talking about masturbation" out of my system, I can move on to the actual sex.

Going over to Flaming Muse right now. I should probably get my box of tissues out.
Nov. 11th, 2011 03:25 pm (UTC)
Ha! It's always great when someone gets my little jokes, whee!!!

Blaine dancing and being completely unselfconscious remains one of the great moments of the show, for sure.
Nov. 11th, 2011 05:36 pm (UTC)
Yeah. I've been holding out, but now I'm in love with him.
Nov. 12th, 2011 02:56 am (UTC)
>When I read/watch something where those moments are as they should be, as it was imagined to be and then IS, I just kind of have all of these emotions build of of "what if" and the like.

Ditto. This pings me when I see TV/movie/whatever families who, even if they aren't idyllically happy, at least outwardly accept and love each other.

It sucks doing the what if shit. Tears you right up.
Nov. 12th, 2011 03:35 am (UTC)
I need to learnt o quit doing that. (But then, as a writer/actor, it's essential. Which is why I'm jacked up. Lol.)
Dec. 22nd, 2011 05:53 am (UTC)
So this post is just amazing to me in light of the magnificent chapter 9 of WTS. It was just the most perfect of first times...

Glad to know your second time made up for prior wrongs.

Ok - its nearing 1 AM here. I need to stop creeping on your journal and get my ass to bed. ;0)
Dec. 22nd, 2011 03:48 pm (UTC)

( 13 comments — Leave a comment )


Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

Time Wot It Is

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