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I just got back. *inhales breath* AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! THE RECAP IS POSTED.

Um, spoilers for the one person that didn't read the stupid book,

Yep. Bit that summbitch right open. People were grossed out. I wanted to hit them, because DIDN'T YOU READ THE BOOK?! LOL.



( 53 comments — Leave a comment )
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Nov. 20th, 2011 07:52 pm (UTC)
I left a big ol' comment on your recap and I figured that I should post the rest of my spiel over here before it engulfs everything. :P

Its weird, the tonal shift from all the books before "Breaking Dawn" its like a safe teen love story to something out of David Croenenburg movie. I still maintain the theory that S. Meyer was all over and done with the "Twilight" series because she stamped on her perfect happy ending with a NO BABIES ALLOWED stamp but the FANS clamored for more Twilight, a perfect wedding and a baby and wah wah wah waaaaaah! until she was like "FINE! I'll give you a flipping baby!" Never mind that vampires in this universe can't: Bella can...because she's special. Ergh.
Nov. 21st, 2011 01:06 am (UTC)
Pah, you can leave all the comments there that you want - a lot of people subscribe to comments, so they'll want to laugh and talk with you. :D

I still maintain that Breaking Dawn is the most honest thing she's written, and was building up to her own passive-aggressive rage at her husband and culture for her being married and baby'd so young.
Nov. 21st, 2011 05:59 pm (UTC)
Well, "Twilight" is one of those things once I start on it, I won't stop talking about even though I hate it. A lot of people would be like "Alright. We GET it. You don't like "Twilight". Shut up already." And I used to be so shy....lol.

Yeah, I get that, I just kind of combined your theory with my weird one, haha.

OT, I kinda want to do reviews (not on "Hey Don't Judge Me", I have my own blogspot) but I don't really know where to start. :/
Nov. 26th, 2011 02:25 am (UTC)
"Her feet are going to get fat. And she is going to want all the pillows now. And she is going to cry for no reason and be really hot, no, wait, she’s really cold, and just go back to the store and get her some damn ice cream. Deal with it."

"She touches Bella, whispers “death” and goes back to scrubbing lime scale."

"Emmett turned off the Net Nanny so there are lady parts shown, and Edward is too much of a gentleman to look at that."

"starts having sex on him"

This is so glorious, I have been excited to read this. I finally saw the movie tonight. It was a fucking masterpiece.

The wedding scene was so AWKWARD. "Make contorted faces at the camera the whole time you're walking down the aisle." At least they somehow managed to make her dress look as good as possible within Smeyer's ghastly constraints.

I was disappointed that there wasn't direct teeth to uterus action, but at least we got what we did, plus a more satisfying sex scene.

All in all, it was enjoyable. And now I can read all the reviews!
Nov. 26th, 2011 03:32 am (UTC)
Ha!!! I'm glad you got to read and laugh with me about this movie. It is seriously MSTK3 material, right???

Nov. 26th, 2011 03:42 am (UTC)
I invited my friends Krissy and Joe to go with me, and it was all to make fun of it. We actually got pulled over by a cop because he kind of ran a red light, and he asked us where we were leaving from, and when we said a movie he asked which movie, and when we said Breaking Dawn he laughed and asked us if it was everything we ever wished for. We said, "And more!" and he said as he looked at my friend's license, "Poor Joe." It was GREAT. Everything was red outside after the theater though, because of red lights and it was giving me the wibblies and the fact that I'm going through my lady times is grossing me out to a disgusting degree.
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Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

Time Wot It Is

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