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In which I almost passed out from rage

because of Top Chef Texas. (Day late, but I had to feed a family yesterday, cut me some slack.) Chili cook-off. Wait, let me fix it: "chili" cook-off.

BRISKET IS NOT THE CUT OF MEAT FOR CHILI. What on earth. The whole family spent yesterday scratching our heads about that. (Well, not my mother in law, because she's from Illinois and makes carrot dimes and tries to eat ribs with a knife and fork.) We've made chili from chuck, from tenderloin (cow, boar, buffalo, and deer) and a whole armadillo (I was sad, though, because armadillos! They're a state animal! *sad face* And cute. But the vatos at the hunting lease swore by it, and it was muy delicioso.)

The recap went up this morning, and I kinda sorta go off. I'M SORRY, BUT THIS IS THE FOOD OF MY PEOPLE.

Yesterday was a success, no one was snotty or rude, I didn't wash any dishes, and everyone enjoyed the food. My brother and law and his wife stayed the night with us and we're going to relax all day and visit, and it's a fine, fine day.

Hope everyone had a good holiday/Thursday and that today you're not doing anything taxing like battling weirdos with pepper spray in the Wal-marts. Funny thing: pepper spray is REALLY expensive. So good job on getting deals by spending crazy money on a weapon? IDIOT.

I saved a wee drowning mouse in the pool this morning, and because of that, I get to take a life, right? That's how that works, save a life, take a life? Beware, hobo clowns! I'm on the prowl.


Nov. 25th, 2011 08:16 pm (UTC)
Carrot dimes involving tomato soup is a weirdness of your mil, not a truly Midwestern thing. Most of us simply put butter, salt and pepper on our carrots like normal human beings. A few adventurous people might try honey-ginger glazes and the like. I don't know anyone who would combine them with tomato soup or even tomato sauce like that (unless there are other veggies in a pasta sauce but it wouldn't be carrot dimes or coins or whatever, but diced). (I was born and raised in Iowa.) We also ate ribs without a knife and fork.

Your mil is just crazy. But then, you knew that. :)

I also didn't understand why they were all fighting over brisket even though I'm vegetarian. I also know you don't use beans in a chili cook-off in Texas, unless it's a vegetarian chili cook-off.
Nov. 25th, 2011 08:20 pm (UTC)
Oh and FRESH carrots, not frozen. Frozen does something very weird to their texture.
Nov. 25th, 2011 08:22 pm (UTC)
Oh, I do not believe the recipe is anything other that my MiL not being able to cook, period.

NO ONE SHOULD EAT RIBS WITH A KNIFE AND FORK. It has built in handles for your HANDS.

Ahahahahahaha, Vegetarian Chili Cook Off In Texas. Boy, if that's not a unicorn, I don't know what is. :)
Nov. 25th, 2011 11:52 pm (UTC)

There be unicorns! ;)


Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

Time Wot It Is

April 2017
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