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I stupidly went to the mall yesterday (while sick, dumb, dumb, dumb) but instantly left after pulling on the first pair of jeans in the dressing room caused me to break a sweat. DEAR FASHION WORLD: I know young girls (which I am not) love stretchy, soft, almost jersey-knit like jeans. I am not one of them. I like denim for my denim. 1) I live in Texas, and tight knit makes me sweat in places I'd rather stay fresh. 2) I have muscles in my legs and a round booty and would like for the material to skim those instead of looking like I'm wearing late night sad pants (you know, those pajama jeans. WHAT.)

I do not like flares. I do not like skinny. (I also have calves, you see, and when I bend down, I black out when I wear skinny jeans.) STRAIGHT LEGS. The Gap made them, the Gap is all out of dark wash straight legs. High-end brands used to make them, now they sell $200 pajama jeans. WHAT MAGICAL STORE SELLS STRAIGHT-LEG, DARK WASH JEANS THAT ARE ACTUAL JEANS? I have tried: Citizens of Humanity, 7 For All Mankind, Paige Denim, and Eldon? I'm not remembering that last one right, but I was DISTRAUGHT. [/Moaning Myrtle.]

I'm going into Dallas to the proper shopping mall and looking more thoroughly when I'm not ill. BOO. (Hudson looks promising, as does Burberry's Brit line.) I AM OPEN TO SUGGESTIONS. Except the first person to suggest "Not Your Mother's Jeans" gets a fist in the gut from me. :) Why yes, I am only 2 weeks from a NYC vacation where I would like to look schnazzy.

ION, I watched 8 Mile last night and was reminded of how freaking hot Eminem is when he bangs Brittany Murphy in that dirty shop and she licks her hand and his FACE omg, and you can see how gorgeous his body is under those stupid hip hop clothes and ungh. I have a secret love for stupid boys made stupid by life but wish they were smarter/strive to be better. Mmmm.

IOON, the Mr. is apparently playing a gig at the Rock-n-Roll Hall of Fame in a few months? So I'm now married to a rock star. I sat with him while he worked on his setlist last night and before the drums gave me a headache, was all shades of proud and happy. He's really good. And then I took some aspirin and went to bed. :)

TELL ME I SHOULDN'T GO WORK IN THE YARD DOING WINTER CLEAN UP, GUYS, BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M THINKING I SHOULD BE DOING. Because I am an idiot. (Oooh, maybe I'll work on making a masterlist and cleaning up links, because I know how to PAR-TAY.)

Comments

( 61 comments — Leave a comment )
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zyrya
Dec. 28th, 2011 04:01 pm (UTC)
Jeggings!

*cackle*
stoney321
Dec. 28th, 2011 04:21 pm (UTC)
AHAHAHAHAHAHA. OMG, aren't they awful? I mean, unless someone is reading this that happens to be wearing them. Um, they are just not for me. =/

(Hee. Also, HELLO, MY SWEET!! Did you get the bat problem resolved sans cat interference?)
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punkkitten2113
Dec. 28th, 2011 04:10 pm (UTC)
HA! Here's some barf for jeggings.....*blech*

How dare we women who have calves and booties (HELLO) suggest that our jeans actually FLATTER us rather than sag down showing off all sorts of skin that was not meant to be shown when trying on shoes at said mall.....I hear ya, sister.

Unfortunately, I live in the deep-seated Midwest, where women my age are wearing Mom jeans, and H&M is our only source of "couture"....so I'm afraid I'm not much help.

But good luck looking fabulous - I'm sure you'll make it work.

And get out of the yard.....if you need a sense of accomplishment, a masterlist is a FINE time well-spent!
stoney321
Dec. 28th, 2011 04:24 pm (UTC)
Aren't they the worst?! And the jeans I tried on yesterday were $178 jeggings. NO. NO NO NO NO.

I would like a mid rise that doesn't give me a muffin top. And I work the hell out, I'm fit! WHY ARE THESE PANTS GIVING ME A MUFFIN TOP THAT I DON'T EVEN HAVE?! Cripes. When I find the miracle pants, I shall share so those of you in towns without a Nordstroms or whatever can MAIL ORDER. Oh, mail order jeans, you feel like the most dangerous thing ever. (lol)


I LIKE THAT THOUGHT, YES. No outdoors for me! <3
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flaming_muse
Dec. 28th, 2011 04:17 pm (UTC)
WHAT??? NO, YOU MAY NOT WORK OUTSIDE. YOU MUST SIT QUIETLY AND LET YOURSELF GET BETTER. I SWEAR TO GOD, I WILL IGNORE YOU ON OUR ENTIRE TRIP IF YOU ARE SICK (because you didn't let yourself get better). I HAVE HAD CATS ALL OF MY LIFE. I KNOW HOW TO SIT IN THE SAME ROOM, FEET AWAY, AND IGNORE PEOPLE WITH GREAT DISAPPROVAL.

Also.. jeans. Bah. I can't find any straight-legged jeans that sit right at my waist. So either I can have boot-cut that fit right but can't tuck into my riding boots or straight-legged that are huge around the waist but fit into my jeans. BAH, I SAY.

Aw, rock star mister!

Edited at 2011-12-28 04:19 pm (UTC)
stoney321
Dec. 28th, 2011 04:27 pm (UTC)
I WON'T I WON'T I PROMISE!!!!!!!!! DO NOT IGNORE ME ON OUR TRIP I WILL CRY AND WALK BEHIND YOU MAKING THIS FACE: D: THE WHOLE TIME AND PEOPLE WILL THINK YOU ARE SO MEAN OMG.

(Oooh, that back bagging thing? $12 at a good tailor, and that problem is SOLVED. I had a lovely salesclerk show me that one.) BUT YES. When I find the miracle pants, I shall share. (Actually, Gap's Curvy line is also good for that, and they make straight leg! They were just OUT at my local Gap. BOO.)

He's such a rock star! isn't that so hilarious? And he asked me my opinion on which of his various sticks I prefer, and I just glazed over and pointed randomly. Lol.
elizardbits
Dec. 28th, 2011 04:17 pm (UTC)
Miss Sixty makes straight leg jeans, or at least they used to. Nixie One is the most bootcut-y style they've had in ages. I gave up trying to find them in stores and just get them on ebay. Sizes run a little small - I'm usually a 25 but in miss sixty I have to wear a 26. OH THE HUMANITY.

wait maybe it is just the cupcakes omg


(they are almost all a little stretchy though, like 2%)

Edited at 2011-12-28 04:18 pm (UTC)
stoney321
Dec. 28th, 2011 04:29 pm (UTC)
OH MY GOD ARE YOU CALLING ME FAT I WEAR A 27. LOL, I think I'm a bit taller than you, right? Good inseam, or do you buy petite? I AM GOING TO LOOK INTO THIS BRAND, YOU ARE A GOD SEND. Also, I knew I should have asked you in the first place, d'oh. I don't mind a LITTLE stretch, but christ, the 7 For All Mankind jeans were like tights. UH, THAT IS TOO MUCH STRETCH FOR JEANS, imo.
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copykween
Dec. 28th, 2011 04:19 pm (UTC)
I would also like these same jeans with a waist higher than "super mega plunging-buttcrack nice hip-bones ultra low rise"!

Thank being said, I get my jeans at The Buckle lately. But even then, I end up trying on approximately 3 million styles/pairs before getting the right fit.
stoney321
Dec. 28th, 2011 04:31 pm (UTC)
I have issues with all the pocket detailing - I'm not much of a bling girl (I'm pretty preppy, actually) and here, The Buckle only has jeans that have the white stitching/bedazzled pockets, and I have a juicy "I do lots of squats and lunges and have defined grab-n-grinds" booty. :D

But yeah - it's a try on a gazillion pairs until you find just the right one. WHERE IS MY TIM GUNN PERSONAL SHOPPER!!? As in actual Tim Gunn? *cry*
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drvsilla
Dec. 28th, 2011 04:29 pm (UTC)
Try Wrangler or Levis.
stoney321
Dec. 28th, 2011 04:48 pm (UTC)
Levis - I think there's even that magic Levis booth at the store I want to hit tomorrow, where they scan your body and spit out the jeans that are right for your shape? WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT.

Wranglers? Woman, I live in Texas, they will judge me and wonder where my Justin ropers are! :D
lynnenne
Dec. 28th, 2011 04:33 pm (UTC)
Old Navy? Or Levis. I'm sure there must be a Levis store somewhere in Stoneyland.

Edited at 2011-12-28 04:33 pm (UTC)
stoney321
Dec. 28th, 2011 04:49 pm (UTC)
Old Navy doesn't fit my body right, for some reason, which SUCKS because I wouldn't mind buying cheap jeans. Drvsilla was just mentioning Levis, and I had TOTALLY FORGOTTEN ABOUT THEM. I'm adding it to my list. <3
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altyronsmaker
Dec. 28th, 2011 04:36 pm (UTC)
Urgh. Stay inside, stay clean (away from dirt/dust/pollens), and rest so you can get better and find those jeans! Massive sinus infections just LOVE all the dust you'd stir up by doing winter clean up. >.<

Also, I am totally in agreement about the state of denim and jean styles lately. I like rigid denim that feels durable. Not that soft, cling to every ripple and curve stuff. blech. Also, I'm a bootcut person myself. They look sexy as hell breaking over the instep.
stoney321
Dec. 28th, 2011 04:50 pm (UTC)
I WILL NOT GO OUTDOORS, or Flaming_Muse is going to shun me. I WILL BE A GOOD GIRL, I PROMISE. (Oooh, that's a good point about dust, too. I have such smart friends. <3)

RIGID! Maybe a touch of give, but just a TOUCH. JEANS. DENIM. Gimmie!! Bootcut have to be a TINY flare for me, otherwise I feel like I'm in bell bottoms. I HAVE ISSUES, I FULLY ADMIT THIS. :)
ruthless1
Dec. 28th, 2011 04:38 pm (UTC)
Do NOT make me pull this car over, change directions and drive to Texas to smack some sense into your soggy head. GO TO THE COUCH NOW. Seriously - pop in another "stupid boy, bad choices, hot body" movie and relax. You are not going to get better if you don't. The crapola in your yard a) is not going anywhere and b) matters to no one but you (for today at least.) Everyone is still in food comas from the holiday. Or shopping spree frenzies.
In another news - that is very cool about the Mister. How did he get THAT gig.
stoney321
Dec. 28th, 2011 04:53 pm (UTC)
I AM IN A BIG SQUISHY CHAIR I PROMISE. Promise. PROMISE. Mmmmm, movies about stupid boys that make bad choices... SMART PLAN, I support that.

Oooh, food coma, that sounds nice, too.

Lesse, the Mr. found out that the Big Four firm he is a consultant for has a band that is actually pretty bad ass. They tour. I MEAN, HUH? And he's an outstanding drummer from back int he day, who gave it up full time to join the Capitalist Regime. (Hee.) Long story only slightly shorter, he joined them a few weeks ago, they loved him, fired the pro drummer they'd hired and put him in. Now he's prepping for a show at the RnR Hall of Fame and I'm seriously turned on by it. HAAHAHAHAHA.
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phaeba
Dec. 28th, 2011 04:41 pm (UTC)
Do you have a Kohl's nearby? I had a desperate jeans situation this past summer (I sat down and my old jeans didn't approve) and found the love of my life there - Chaps Modern Straight Leg. I would have never thought to look at Kohl's, and never would have considered Chaps, but they really do amazing things for a booty and calves :D I went back the next week and bought two more pairs. (Be sure to try them on though -- lengths vary, which I found out the hard way after not trying on the jeans during the second store-run).
stoney321
Dec. 28th, 2011 06:36 pm (UTC)
I never have luck at places like Kohls - they tend to have clothing that's not my style, one (I'm very old school prep - no sparkles, no flashy patterns) and am BOR-ING. I fully admit it. :D Button downs and oxfords, that's me!

Oh, I would NEVER buy jeans without trying them on - that way lies madness! Also, I've learned the hard way. Ha! Thank you for the recs!
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darkhawkhealer
Dec. 28th, 2011 04:54 pm (UTC)
Agreed on the Levis, IIRC, Wrangler won't work for you if you've got junk in the trunk because they're made for people with flat butts.

Also try True Religion and Lucky Brand.

My favorite pair of jeans actually comes from the men's section, because while I have no ass (*SADFACE*), I have pretty muscular thighs/calves and straight legs feel too constricting.

So Mossimo (the Target store brand) makes a guy's jean that fits me and is in fact a straight leg that's not too awful for me. :) So basically, instead of dropping $200 on a pair of 'boyfriend' jeans, I just went to the section the girls steal their boyfriend's jeans from. :P
ryokomusouka
Dec. 28th, 2011 05:40 pm (UTC)
I made the mistake of buying a plus-sized Mossimo "boyfriend" shirt from Target. I'm embarrassed to even wear it to bed.

I don't want to pay premium prices for an already worn-out, saggy t-shirt, thankyouverymuch.
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moosesal
Dec. 28th, 2011 05:05 pm (UTC)
Check out Ann Taylor and LOFT. I love their curvy fits. I usually get the boot cut, which isn't as flared out as some boot cuts. But they've got straight legs too. (I see on the AT website that they've currently got a "slim fit" that looks like straight leg. They have skinny too, but their skinny are more a real jean than a jegging.)

I started wearing AT pants several years ago, but probably became a total convert about 3 years ago now. I don't buy pants anywhere else anymore (except for hiking or ski pants). AT has me covered for jeans, cords, capris/shorts in summer, dress slacks for work. Everything. I buy most of my tops and dresses and stuff there too. I was in a store once and I was by the dressing room and a saleslady said, "That dress looks so good on you. You should totally get it." I stared at her for a second and then looked down to realize I was wearing one of their dresses that they still had on the racks. She thought I was trying it on, but it was what I was wearing that day. If my closest store wasn't 1.5 hrs away I would totally apply for a job there.
stoney321
Dec. 28th, 2011 06:40 pm (UTC)
I love Ann Taylor - the only jeans I saw there yesterday were the flares, though. Boot cut looks flared on me - I like a straight leg. I sometimes roll my jeans up so you can see my cute argyle socks with my heeled Oxfords. :D I'll have to go to a bigger Ann Taylor in Dallas, it looks like, if they ARE making straight legs - their pants fit me WONDERFULLY. I always bought my dress pants (and most dresses) from them as they actually make clothes to fit curves.

Also, their clothes last FOREVER, a huge bonus.
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rikibeth
Dec. 28th, 2011 05:20 pm (UTC)
Stay inside! No strenuous physical labor! Masterlists,and picspams of hot actors, that's your agenda for today.
stoney321
Dec. 28th, 2011 06:40 pm (UTC)
I AM! I DID! I ARE! All of those things sound excellent, THANK YOU. <3 :D
ivyfree
Dec. 28th, 2011 05:23 pm (UTC)
Try Land's End? I've found their sizes really seem to fit well. But read the feedback before you order: you can find out really good information by doing that. Feedback is where you find out things like "collar is too tight," etc. But they do have dark denim straight-leg jeans. And their customer service is wonderful. And you can either order online or call and order by phone.

You won't get cutting-edge fashion-forward stuff there, but you will get good quality classics and good service at what I feel is a reasonable price.
stoney321
Dec. 28th, 2011 06:42 pm (UTC)
I've had weird luck with them - the sizes I can't figure out. =/ Like, what I wear elsewhere isn't right there, and it's arbitrary depending on what I'm trying on. I'm going to spend an entire day at a huge mall this weekend, so I'm gathering everyone's suggestions and just suffering through the dressing rooms until I get it right.

I do like to be a little fashionable, but am still pretty damn preppy. Which is why it's frustrating - my style is everywhere on TV but not in a store that I can find, ARGH.
alittleacademe
Dec. 28th, 2011 05:43 pm (UTC)
Lands End? A big Gap/Gap online (both are easy to return!). Over here, I'd send you to M&S (not massively on-trend but good for classic basics), Levis or Zara (I have a lot of straight-like, jean-like trousers by them). Maybe try online for them?

New Look is good but cheeeap, disposable etc! I share your pain re: jeans, being a typical Northern European slightly-pear-shaped petite girl. GOD KNOWS why, but although skinnies can be found to fit thighs/waist, it's apparently my calves which don't work in them.

What the shit, really. I don't need wider fittings in boots & my calves probably aren't as muscular as they should be, but no. Too Big for Skinnies (I'm a UK 8/10/12 depending on where the hell I am).
stoney321
Dec. 28th, 2011 06:44 pm (UTC)
I'm going to see if my favorite jeans (1969, straight leg/long and lean) from The Gap are online in a dark wash, because they fit FABULOUSLY and make my legs look great. I JUST WANT NEW JEANS, ARGH. I'm right there with you on the calves + skinnies = blacking out from lack of blood flow.

Straight, straight straight. No break in the visual, make your legs look longer than they are, can roll up, wear down with heels, ALL OF THE LOOKS I WANT. Boo. (I bet the 7 For All Mankind jeans I tried on yesterday would be great on you, tho. Also, Banana Republic has AWESOME petite jeans. AWESOME.)
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