- The receptionist at my daughter's orthodontist grabbed my glasses and put them on. (Because they're cute. but....) Also: I now look just like the girl on the HDJM banner, as that is exactly what my specs look like. <3
- my son applied for a summer job at a grocery store because they'll hire young teens. He applied for a dish-washing position because, and I'm not making this up, "It looks really interesting." In what universe?? AND HEY, HOW ABOUT THAT KITCHEN IN YOUR HOUSE?
- my son's BFF just fully put the moves on me, leaning against the door frame to my bedroom with arms crossed and a sly grin, and asked if he could come in to *dramatic pause* "talk" and then asked if I wanted him to put something (what he wanted to talk about) "...on your bed?"
- I'm not going to act like I don't feel like a MILF right now. Or that I didn't excuse myself and go into my closet to laugh my ass off because WOW, DUDE. Bless.
- my dog farted herself out of a deep sleep and I about ruptured my gut laughing at her shocked look, because she is a lady, and Nice Girls Don't Poop or Fart
- I opened up a bottle of Mount Veeder Cab Sav and a wedge of applewood smoked cheddar and plan on making myself write a new story.
A DAY IN THE LIFE OF STONEY. (Omitted: laundry, mopping, cleaning out the cat pans, because my life is a non-stop celebration of life)
- Spock is::
amused
'Oos dis bint, then?
stoney321- Laura Stone
- Hey, Don't Judge Me
Comments
IF YOU WILL HELP FOLD SOCKS, YES.
Oh, I do NOT miss potty training. I love babies, I love HAVING babies, but I do not miss potty training. (I grew up constantly around babies being potty trained.) I will recommend (not that you asked, but hey, the wine is flowing, lol) two things:
1. Once Upon A Potty, the greatest book for kids and parents about pooping and peeing in the potty ever written and
2. My grandmother's $15 method. (adjust for inflation, please.) The woman raised FIFTEEN CHILDREN, so it's good advice, is what I'm saying: give your child all the [insert favorite beverage here] they can stomach. They wear no diapers. They will loathe the feeling of urine running down their legs and use their potty (pick them up and place them on their potty when you see them peeing) and will catch themselves after the second or third accident. The $15 (or closer to $50 now) is for the carpet cleaner rental. :D
AND IT WORKS. The book led to the "Whee, potties are awesome!" and the "HEY HOW ABOUT EVEN MORE APPLE JUICE?" led to the "Oh, I do NOT like this...." lightbulb moment.
GOOD LUCK!
Also .. she took your glasses??!?!?! Jeeze.
You MILF, you.
So, I have this term I use for a specific type of person. I call them "hot enough for ya?" people. The ones that use those trite phrases? Like "How's the weather up there?" to a tall person, etc? She's the reason I have that phrase. She's the happiest damn person on the EARTH, knows everyone's name, has nicknames for every family in the practice, jokes like it's her job (in a dorky way) and is someone that I just can't get angry with because she's so damn earnest.
But yeah. OOH I LIKE THESE, YOINK. We're "tight," but we ain't that tight, sister. :D
Excuse me while I preen in my cargo pants (complete with bleach stains) Aw yeah.
Girl, I am going to rip shit up with some weeding and sheet changing. LOOK OUT, WORLD! :D
Does Dairy Queen still hire 14 year olds?
I WISH I HAD A DAIRY QUEEN NEAR ME. Oh, Double Buster...
(Granted, my Dairy Queen is the opposite of where I usually go...)
I think this calls for a relocation.
OMG, I would think I was being punk'd. Was he wearing some cologne? Brut, perhaps? Did he shave his peach fuzz? What did he think was going to happen? Ahahaha.
It's not Brut any more, come on. Old Spice or Axe! *pukes* HEEE. I'm still laughing, I have to say.
My dog once farted so loud that she scared herself and ran under the sofa. I just about died laughing.
Cheers!!
THAT IS FUCKING HILARIOUS, LYNNE!!! OMG, why are dogs so damn funny?!
<3
Also throw in redonk teenage hormones and you've got the making for a hilarious comic caper.
You (and I, both) lead lives of glamour glamour glamour! I get to spend my day cleaning out the refrigerator drain because SOMEONE decided to shove cheese down it. Why were they in fridge? Why the drain? WHY CHEESE???!?!?!?! Some things in life we are not meant to know.
But, please, do tell about this new thing you're making yourself write, because I need a moment to sit here with my chin in my hand, leaning on the counter and make googly eyes at my screen.
Dare I ask? Is it *fluttery voice* Captain Anderson????? I'M GONNA GET THE VAY-PUHRS!!!
~L.
Edited at 2012-06-12 09:06 am (UTC)
WHY CHEESE. WHY CHEESE IN THE DRAIN. WHY. This should not be a question like the meaning of life. WHY CHEESE?! Oh, poor cheese, we barely knew ye.
*plays taps*
*eats Fritos* (hey, they're delicious.)
This is actually not another Capt Anderson story, this is a whole new one that I've dithered on for a few months - it's a trope that I worry has been beaten to death (even though I have a different spin on it, I want it to have a lot of comedy, etc etc) and...we'll see if I can get a story out of it.
FOR NOW YOU CAN REMAIN VAPORLESS. (I have another one-shot I've started, but it's not quite working yet. WE'LL SEE. I have many writing plans for the summer. Fingers crossed!)
In their defense, though, teenage boys smell horrid au naturel and require nuclear doses of scent to cover that. :D