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Things that have happened today.

  • The receptionist at my daughter's orthodontist grabbed my glasses and put them on. (Because they're cute. but....) Also: I now look just like the girl on the HDJM banner, as that is exactly what my specs look like. <3
  • my son applied for a summer job at a grocery store because they'll hire young teens. He applied for a dish-washing position because, and I'm not making this up, "It looks really interesting." In what universe?? AND HEY, HOW ABOUT THAT KITCHEN IN YOUR HOUSE?
  • my son's BFF just fully put the moves on me, leaning against the door frame to my bedroom with arms crossed and a sly grin, and asked if he could come in to *dramatic pause* "talk" and then asked if I wanted him to put something (what he wanted to talk about) "...on your bed?"
  • I'm not going to act like I don't feel like a MILF right now. Or that I didn't excuse myself and go into my closet to laugh my ass off because WOW, DUDE. Bless.
  • my dog farted herself out of a deep sleep and I about ruptured my gut laughing at her shocked look, because she is a lady, and Nice Girls Don't Poop or Fart
  • I opened up a bottle of Mount Veeder Cab Sav and a wedge of applewood smoked cheddar and plan on making myself write a new story.

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF STONEY. (Omitted: laundry, mopping, cleaning out the cat pans, because my life is a non-stop celebration of life)


Jun. 12th, 2012 01:11 am (UTC)
HAHAHAHAHA. No, that is perfectly acceptable to be humming.


Oh, I do NOT miss potty training. I love babies, I love HAVING babies, but I do not miss potty training. (I grew up constantly around babies being potty trained.) I will recommend (not that you asked, but hey, the wine is flowing, lol) two things:

1. Once Upon A Potty, the greatest book for kids and parents about pooping and peeing in the potty ever written and

2. My grandmother's $15 method. (adjust for inflation, please.) The woman raised FIFTEEN CHILDREN, so it's good advice, is what I'm saying: give your child all the [insert favorite beverage here] they can stomach. They wear no diapers. They will loathe the feeling of urine running down their legs and use their potty (pick them up and place them on their potty when you see them peeing) and will catch themselves after the second or third accident. The $15 (or closer to $50 now) is for the carpet cleaner rental. :D

AND IT WORKS. The book led to the "Whee, potties are awesome!" and the "HEY HOW ABOUT EVEN MORE APPLE JUICE?" led to the "Oh, I do NOT like this...." lightbulb moment.



Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

Time Wot It Is

April 2017
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