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I just did the math and in 20 days I am turning 40. Four Zero.

...but I haven't climbed Mount Everest yet!! Any sherpa volunteers out there? (And funny, I don't feel forty.)


Jul. 18th, 2012 08:27 pm (UTC)
I had this one friend tell me that I should tell people I'm 47 so they're REALLY shocked by my "youthful looks." Hahaha. Because we all know that once I hit 47, I'm going to be put down. It's kinder, that way.

Maybe I want to freeze my nose off, D, did you think of that? I think it will make my face look slimmer.
Jul. 18th, 2012 08:35 pm (UTC)
People are getting toe slimming procedures now and toe removals to fit smaller shoes so think of the money you'll save! After that cut of all those hunks of blackened dead skin you'll be supermodel thin. "I lost 20lbs, ask me how!" you'll gasp through your oxygen mask, a limbless torso.

I don't know how much 20lbs are so this joke may not have worked purely on that. FUCK YOU MATHS AND SCIENCE! I love your icon by the way. I'm going to take it behind the bike sheds and make it pregnant. 30 Rock for the win!

I probably shouldn't have had that bowl of crack for breakfast. I CAN FLY *jumps out window*.

Tell them your 75 and get an informational for goat placenta face wash.


Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

Time Wot It Is

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