Most of y'all know that I'm a Texas Master Gardener. As in, I'm all edjumacated and stuff about plants, soil, IPM, basic plant diseases and how to eradicate them, etc. Does this mean I have perfect knowledge? Of course not. But! I can give you a qualified "I don't know! But I'll find out." (But most of the problems people in this region have are so common, I typically have an answer. Rarely am I stumped.)
So last night on FB...ah, that's the problem. I need to stay off FB. :D
Last night a guy I went to school with (who I hacked into the school's computer system with and stole the teacher's assignments for our computer class, because he and I knew more about computers than she did at the time and we were horribly bored. I think we spent most classes writing programs to draw butts on people's screens. WHAT I AM SAYING is that this guy knows I'm not a complete dummy.) posted a picture of a bug on a leaf in his garden, wanting to know what it was, what to do, they're swarming, etc.
KEY WORD: SWARM. That means flight. Ahem.
I identified the bug rather quickly because a) it was a squash plant, b) I could see chew marks all over the plant, and the c) bug in question had distinctive coloring. If you guessed Squash Vine Borer, then give yourself a cupcake. In hot climes (like, say, TEXAS) they go through multiple larval stages and right now is when they're emerging as adults and preparing to lay eggs. They're horrid. They completely destroy your plants, and there's only prevention for the NEXT crop once you see adults.
So I quickly a) identified that, since that was his question and b) gave him some simple measures to avoid future infestations with both OTC sprays and an organic solution, because I'm thoughtful like that.
AND SOME DUDE COMES IN BEHIND ME, and pooh poohs everything I've said to him and says no. I know nothing. And clearly that bug is a ladybug larvae. Which...do not have WINGS and do not STAND ON LEGS AND HOP, I should mention. They're lowriders. *trumpet funk*
So I helpfully link errbody to some tamu.edu images of both bugs. (That's Texas A & M's Aggie Hort educational page, for those not in the know.) And this guy begins to give instructions for how to get rid of them - you know, the ladybug larvae and I jumped in quickly and said LADY BUGS ARE VERY GOOD AND THEIR LARVAE ARE EVEN BETTER and I am dismissed as an idiot, or quite possibly a hysterical female, IDEK.
So fuck them, and let their plants die. :) Clearly they will starve in the zombie apocalypse.
This is after a week of busting my ass to create a new garden (after re-wiring my own landscape lights, building new flagstone walkways, eradicating weeds and pests from my garden, transplanting heirloom bulbs that you can't even find anymore and people telling MY HUSBAND how lovely our garden looks. As I'm standing there covered in dirt and sweat and he's just come out to hand me a cold drink after being OUT OF TOWN for 7 days.
Nothing upsets me more than my knowledge, limited though it may be, being disregarded. And then credit given elsewhere.
I ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT I AM DOING OUTSIDE.
Ahem. (I've had so many guys HEAR my husband say that I do all of our gardening and still ask him for advice. To my husband's credit, he always says, "I have no idea. Laura?" :)
And on that note, I am going to get some more woolly stemodia planted later today as a ground cover so it can do the work of tilling for me. (Also, you know that wonderful "country-clover" smell? It's not quite grass being cut, and there's a sweetness to it? That's the plant that makes it out here. I looooooooooove walking through my garden in the morning to wake up and smell that. <3) Note: that is a perennial plant for HOT climes. Sorry, Canada.