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I miss having a fandom. :(

Which might sound strange, because I am still fannish about some shows. This post pretty much sums up how I feel about current fannish trends, aka - rolling around in spoilers and speculations and red herrings and becoming UNBELIEVABLY ANGRY about things and then spending the season bitching about how those spoilers and speculations and red herrings weren't accurate. (Oh, you don't say?)

I have not one single fannish Tumblr on my feed now. No one can be trusted (aside from my Miss Muse), I have painfully found out. I took K_B off my feed last night because someone put in their g.d. author's notes to a fic post "now that we all need a little..." blah blah - which means that they are hinting about a spoiler/speculation/red herring and now I AM INFECTED WITH IT. :(

Everyone can have the fannish experience they want. Which seems to be that they want to be angry and hate a show they continue to watch (oh my god, don't even get me started on the BZUH?-ness of that). So why can't I have the fannish experience I want? Which is to watch the show when it airs, and then talk - BEHIND A CUT - about what I liked, etc? Because people are selfish, that's why. I'm sorry if that makes you angry with me. (People who don't care about my wishes and wants make ME angry.) As flaming_muse said: spoilers should be OPT IN, not OPT OUT.

I've had four different fics on my hard drive that I've essentially deleted. I can't even consider moving forward with any of them, because my joy in the show and sharing it are pretty much gone - not to mention the whole "feeling paralyzed about writing the future with hints of what's to come having been carelessly posted."

I'm just tired of selfish behavior. It's like the majority of the people on the internet exhibit ADD behavior: complete lack of impulse control and thinking things through, or having empathy for others. /killjoy.

There are a handful of people that I enjoy in this fandom, and I'll continue to read them (and I'm talking, like six people), but man - the rest of the fandom has pretty much killed it for me. I've been in one fandom or another since I was, hmm. 11? I'm 40. I've never had such a negative experience. I say this not to be a whiner, but to stress how UNUSUAL this behavior is. This is not how fandoms typically behave, n00bs. As I tell my kids and their friends: Manners are free, so there's no excuse for you to not have any.

Not that it's a hardship to other fan-types in Glee that I'm not really wanting to play ball anymore, I'm not trying to prop myself up in importance (because let's face it - I'm not.) I'm just expressing myself in my personal fannish space.

ION, I bought my son skinny jeans and they bag on him. O_O The child eats almost $200 in groceries A WEEK. If I could bottle his metabolism...

[ETA]: Just to clear the record: I'm not trying to be all sniffy/flouncing. I'm expressing my frustration, is all. (And it should go without saying that there should be NO MENTIONS OF SPOILERS OF ANY KIND in comments here. Or speculation. Or red herrings. Or mention of Brussels sprouts. Because those are gross and make you fart.)

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( 77 comments — Leave a comment )
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(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Aug. 18th, 2012 01:42 am (UTC)
Re: spoilers suck
You are lovely for saying so. I've been staring at these documents for a month, now, completely unhappy and unable to go anywhere for worry that the things I stumbled across are true. :(

I'm still on Tumblr, but only for pretty pictures that make me happy - nothing fannish. It's a way I can continue to follow certain blogs but not have any further enjoyment in something (here I mean Glee) squashed by speculation. It's not even the negativity (which is absolutely baffling to me) - it's just having the excitement of discovery taken away.

And it means a LOT to hear that you enjoy TBoY that much. Oh, did the hate for that story start the ball rolling on my unhappiness with the fandom... But Near Misses? That right there is perfection. <3
(Deleted comment)
Re: spoilers suck - stoney321 - Aug. 18th, 2012 02:10 am (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
Re: spoilers suck - stoney321 - Aug. 18th, 2012 02:43 am (UTC) - Expand
secondalto
Aug. 18th, 2012 02:14 am (UTC)
You bottle your boy's metabolism, I'll bottle my 3yo girl's energy. We'll become gazillionaires and be able to smite anyone who spoils us!
stoney321
Aug. 18th, 2012 02:43 am (UTC)
I'll get on drawing up our business plans this very night! :D
cmf
Aug. 18th, 2012 02:18 am (UTC)
Just another old-ish person chiming in to say, yeah spoilers suck. I got spoiled for the Glee Project, which in the grand scheme of things REALLY DOESN'T MATTER, except ya know, i wanted to find out on my own time who won. I had to stay off tumblr and facebook for most of the Olympics because I was watching via DVR and got SO MAD when some stupid ad on FB was congratulating a silver medal winner before I had seen the race. (am canadian - we didn't win too many medals)

What I don't understand about 'kids these days' is the HATE. Don't like it? Don't watch it. You don't have to rant about it and ruin it for the rest of us. Even the couple of people on my FB who watch Glee would comment "I am so done with this show - it gets worse and worse all the time". So then what? Those of us who still like it are stupid? I don't know.

I do know that I work full time and have 2 kids and a husband. I like the songs of Glee. I think Darren is about the most beautiful man I've seen for a long time and I love what he's done to make Blaine such an endearing character. I started reading tumblr about a year ago, kinda hoping to find people who felt the same way. Don't have my own tumblr - just read them through Google reader. Found lots of interesting people but lots of bullshit too.

I'm not really sure what my point is here other than to say I've always loved the things you've written. I'm reading Near Misses and just loving what flaming_muse is doing. It is fantastic. I'd hate to see anyone drive the two of you out of Fandom. Maybe we need a If You Weren't Born in the 70s, Get Off My Lawn tumblr where those of us who can play nice with others can go :)
stoney321
Aug. 18th, 2012 02:48 am (UTC)
Getting spoiled for competition reality shows - there should be a special circle in hell (under Satan and the ice, says I!) for people who spoil that sort of thing! :(

I stayed off the internet and TV for the Olympics, too. I just want to be surprised, is that too much to ask? (In some circles, it seems so.)

Laws, I am right there with you on the hate. Why...aren't they watching something else? The other thing that gets me is when they hate the writers of the show, but love the characters. Um...the writers are MAKING THE CHARACTERS? I just don't get it. Different strokes, I suppose. (Ugh, the supposition that if I still enjoy it, if I'm still happy - that somehow makes me a moron? Um...)

Boy, am I not going to argue with your definition of Darren. What an amazing person, both inside and out. *fans self* I feel the same about Chris, too. (And Lea, and Corey, and Naya, and...)

I'm glad you piped up - I think those of us that are seeking out a similar fannish experience ought to stick together. That way we can have someone to bounce our joy off of (which to me is the point of fandom) and also have intelligent and NON-HATEFUL discussions about plot, story, etc.

(And really, how freaking amazing is flaming_muse? SO AMAZING.) <3

Edited at 2012-08-18 02:49 am (UTC)
pushplaytobegin
Aug. 18th, 2012 03:41 am (UTC)
This post makes me sad. I wish I could share my spoiler-free bubble with you and f_m, because I so rarely get spoiled. It must be my superpower. :-(

It breaks my heart that you've abandoned (I cannot bear to type "deleted") any story you were previously excited about, or that anyone would dampen your joy in any way.

((((hugs you))))
stoney321
Aug. 18th, 2012 03:23 pm (UTC)
I am usually SO RIGID about people spoiling me (as in, not letting them) - it's almost devastating when anything gets through the barrier I've built. It's usually someone being careless and excited, posting somewhere public without thinking. It does seem, though, that the "spoiler fandom" has taken over the Glee fandom, and now they're omnipresent.

Gah, I sat in front of my computer for almost two solid weeks, staring at this one story and almost sobbing with the inability to go forward with it, the spoilers lurking in the back of my mind. I've tried and tried to write things all summer (since July, when the first leak happened) and just can't. It's been utter misery. :(

*hugs you*
wowbright
Aug. 18th, 2012 05:11 am (UTC)
I was really afraid of getting on Tumblr for the reasons you cite, but after some early bad experiences, I've made it a safer place for myself by only following people who don't post spoilers OR who religiously tag all spoilers and speculation. Same for wank (okay, no one tags wank, so I just unfollow). I've gotten so zealous about it that if I reblog a pretty picture of Chris Colfer and I think it might possibly be an out of context shot from a future Glee episode or shoot, I tag it with spoiler. I mean, I don't even watch the previews for the most part, so I can understand someone not wanting to be spoiler on possible outfits, either.

Sorry, I just turned that into a bit of a rant, but I just meant to say that I TOTALLY get where you're coming from and think you're right to take the steps you need to keep the show fun for you. I wish random could be as good to you as the show is!

(And I'm a little sad to hear that you're tossing your fics; I love your vision of the Glee characters.)
stoney321
Aug. 18th, 2012 03:27 pm (UTC)
Oh, I don't follow ANY fannish (glee fandom) Tumblrs. And haven't. I had to stop tracking my own stories, because there was a leak that someone mentioned in a post tagged with Where There's Smoke! D:

So there goes me sending thank you's to readers, if they happened to have been kind enough to post/rec about anything I've written. (That has happened TWICE. One with my username!)

Oh, that wasn't a rant, that was a shared worry imb! I'm the same. And now I can't even look for new pictures of the actors anywhere off set for fear that I'll stumble on something about filming. So no more fangirling for me. *shrug* It's just a new experience for me, since I've been a fangirl in some fashion since - gosh, since Star Wars originally came out!

SIGH. (Also, thank you for the support.) <3
kayoko
Aug. 18th, 2012 11:08 am (UTC)
The Glee fandom is a very unique environment. The majority of the fans are young, they have this strange sense of entitlement and it's all about instant satisfaction. Just think about the type of fanfiction that is produced, reaction fics and short random fics are produced in mass quantities. There aren't that many long plot/character driven fics out there that push the boundaries of what we know (I swear that 'Near Misses' is the only WIP fic worth my time nowadays).

Also, if you're looking for a new, possibly better fandom, I highly recommend Teen Wolf. A lot of people on my f-list have recently gotten into it. =)
stoney321
Aug. 18th, 2012 03:31 pm (UTC)
(Ooooh, don't let Miss Muse hear you call Near Misses a WIP - a work in progress! That story has been completed for some time, now! :D)

The youth (at heart, or in actuality - both can apply) factor is definitely a problem. Not that there's anything wrong with learning how to participate in a fandom, we've all been there at some point, but it's the entitlement - as you've said - that absolutely baffles me.

No, the writers do NOT owe you a particular story. The actors do NOT owe you an explanation for why something is how it is. Etc. I find a lot of that behavior embarrassing, truth be told.

Oh, Teen Wolf is about to debut on my fan-media-site so I'm well aware of that juggernaut! But I think there is going to be the exact same issue there - it's targeted at high school-aged girls. (I should know, my daughter has watching parties each week!) I'm glad that people are happy with it - I just don't feel fannish about that show. I love many shows, but there are few where I want to explore character and story in a fannish way.
... - kayoko - Aug. 18th, 2012 08:40 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Aug. 18th, 2012 10:24 pm (UTC) - Expand
justa_reader
Aug. 18th, 2012 06:37 pm (UTC)
I'll admit that I've been a big ole bag of emotions for the past three days, but this...this just makes me weep. As a fan of fanfic authors (you!), the most upsetting thing is watching something that is supposed to be FUN, something that is supposed to be an ESCAPE become laced with anything stressful AT ALL (beyond the normal creative process). It is distressing to watch people whose writing I've grown to adore be driven away by wank or rudeness. And only partly for my selfish (reading) reasons, but mostly for the way it brings something negative into what should be such a positive space, to the place that is MY escape, too.

I'm not as dedicated to avoiding spoilers as you are, but I do not like them, and I've found myself having to pull away from one corner after another of this fandom as they've spread. It just makes me sad, because I kinda need this happy little place in my world right now.

*Hugs you*

(And I'm all for bottling my son's metabolism, as long as it doesn't barrage my brain with nothing but video games and SpongeBob.)
stoney321
Aug. 18th, 2012 10:30 pm (UTC)
This really was my escape from a - quite frankly - an incredibly stressful and non-stop Real Life. And when I started getting negative mail, then hate mail, then "tee hee" links to anonymous memes where people called me all sorts of names, to the negativity and spoiler-rampant wave that is currently crashing over the whole of fandom... It's just not an escape anymore. It's becoming something I dread. :(

I need this happy place, too. Fortunately, I'm still maintaining HDJM as a place to discuss episodes after they've aired in a positive and fannish way, so that won't change for me - which is a relief. And flaming_muse is still my girl (let's face it, she's a Real Life best friend, in addition to being my fandom BFF) so I'll always have her fic to read.

Maybe if those few of us that crave a specific fannish experience continue to hang with each other and block out the negativity, we can get a little corner of our world back? I'm hoping so, because i really need this happy little place, too.

*hugs you back*
heresluck
Aug. 19th, 2012 01:50 am (UTC)
Just -- seriously, co-fucking-signed. Disrespecting spoiler avoidance, generating spoiler-related hysteria, continuing to watch a show despite hating it -- WTF is this. I've been reluctant to assume that it was a new development or specific to Glee, because my involvement in my fandoms since Buffy has been decidedly tangential to the mainstream of fannish activity, but you and flaming_muse convince me that it's not just me being a grumpy cane-shaking oldster remembering Ye Good Olde Days with inappropriate nostalgia. So, uh, thanks for that, even though I'm sorry we have to commiserate about it at all. Alas.
stoney321
Aug. 19th, 2012 05:14 am (UTC)
HIGH FIVE. (Also, hello! Have added you back, because I need more sane people in my life. :D)

Poor, poor FM - she had someone comment to an older fic in the past few days with a spoiler! Just... who the does that?! I've had people drop me anon messages (one person actually CREATED A FAKE ACCOUNT to drop me a line with a spoiler in it) and I...what? I have never experienced anything like it in my life.

The nice thing about this post is how many people are coming out of the woodwork to say that they're on our side of this debate - we're not alone! :)

It's just...baffling.
... - heresluck - Aug. 19th, 2012 02:22 pm (UTC) - Expand
kouredios
Aug. 20th, 2012 12:58 am (UTC)
I'm sad for the deletion of those unfinished projects, but I totally understand not wanting to look at them after the joy's been sucked out. I'm so sorry. I'm not active enough to have to worry about spoilers--I just read you and F_M and chatter with my friends, and that's about it. I can't imagine having bunches of strangers accost me with spoilers. :(
stoney321
Aug. 20th, 2012 01:33 am (UTC)
I really am not a flouncing kinda girl, so it wasn't an act of petulance, the deleting of fics. It was the final result of me staring at a document and not having anything in me to finish them. (And feeling miserable the whole time.)

BAH.

One good thing to come out of this (aside from your hilarious icon, ha!) is that I'm meeting more adults in the fandom who share my anti-spoiler/behave, girls! mindset, so that's a huge bonus.

<3 You're such a sweetheart, I should add. Thanks.
whisperyvoices
Aug. 20th, 2012 02:47 am (UTC)
:'( Sigh. I'm so sorry. Every time someone in fandom does something stupid, I feel the need to take some responsibility - because we're in a community together, and that sorta feels like we should be responsible for each other? The flip side of feeling so Proud and Happy when a fellow fan does something good and kind...? Anyway, I'm terribly sorry. I've given up [for now] going on Tumblr - it was short lived and lovely while it lasted [and I may venture back on if feeling brave and able to unfollow all these folks], but for now, I'm staying away because too many people are posting spoilers w/o tagging them.

I just don't get it ...they are called "spoilers" - that has to be the most obvious, self-explanatory name ever. What about that says "this is good, let's share this with the world"? NOTHING!

I'm just going to offer you a hug now - and a wish that maybe you'll find a part of this community to come back to, that is respectful and manners-filled, so that you'll have a fandom to roll around in again. (((big.hug)))

p.s: When you figure out how to bottle your son's metabolism, I demand [with painful, but polite, urgency] that you share it with me! PLEASE!

p.p.s: ....these people made Stoney delete fics? FOUR FICS THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN OUT HERE IN THE WORLD, making us smile and cry and think and feel? *I'm gritting my teeth so hard now in anger* *^#(*^#(*!(&#)

Edited at 2012-08-20 02:50 am (UTC)
stoney321
Aug. 20th, 2012 02:09 pm (UTC)
Oh, the majority of fandom doesn't feel responsible for anything, so why should you? ;)

And THANK YOU: SPOILERS. The name says it all! It spoils it. Mold. Rotten. Ruined. Trash. No wonder they're all angry all the time! Pfft.

(You know, the stories I deleted had just turned into utter bunk and weren't worth saving. No big loss to the world. Not to mention that the reminder that they were sitting on my computer made me feel miserable. So. Practicing self-care! <3)
AdamPascalFan
Aug. 22nd, 2012 01:06 pm (UTC)
Now I admit I like to read the spoilers but maybe because I've been in soap opera fandoms for so long where we have websites that are known to just make stuff up, I also realize what gets written as a spoiler is often unrecognizable on screen. So I take everything wtih a wait and see attitude. I'm also older than most of the fandom and I realize taht just because most of the cast and production crew is readily accessable to me via social media this doesn't mean I'm entitled for them to write a specific story just to please me or I'll send them threatening tweets. Whenever I saw fans start up on taht to BRad and Dante last year I just had to laugh. I'm pretty sure they don't check their @ mentions just to save their sanity.

(Also I realize that things they want to be kept secret they aren't going to film in front of people to prevent spoiler leakage so lets use some common sense people. The truly big things we are likely not going to know)

I'm sorry you were spoiled when you didn't want to be. I'm sorry PSR (Pre-SHow Rage) ruined things for you. You are welcome to join me in the sane corner of the fandom where spoiler free is respected and people are rational in conversation.
stoney321
Aug. 22nd, 2012 05:13 pm (UTC)
*hugs on you*

You know, I would love to go to this magical place where there are no spoiler leaks. :( I've had people comment to fics, etc. WITH SPOILERS. Even though I put at the end of every fic post "I am anti-spoiler!" It makes me SAD.

I'm trying to just pull back enough that I can keep a kernel of squee and let it grow back into the flower of I LOVE THIS SHOOOOW! again.
... - AdamPascalFan - Aug. 22nd, 2012 08:36 pm (UTC) - Expand
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Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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